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mail2me
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Can lazy husband get alimony/support?
      #18633 - 06/27/05 12:57 AM

Married 3 years. He has only worked 2 months during that time with the exception of Ebay sales which were never reported. The "sales" were used toward his personal expenses and ocassional contributions to the household. He owns his own home. I have owned my own home since prior to the marriage but still have a mortgage. He has recently started seeing a shrink to substantiate his claim that he's clinically depressed and therefore hasn't been able to work in all this time. The truth is it's a ploy and he's just plain lazy. In the meantime he's expecting me to pay his newly acquired medical bills and also asking for support/alimony. I have a small business and can barely meet my own expenses. To support him or pay his new bills I'd be forced to sell my home. There are no children involved. Should I be worried? Can he get this?

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Cinder2
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Re: Can lazy husband get alimony/support? [Re: mail2me]
      #18677 - 06/27/05 10:22 AM

What state are you in?

Cinder


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mail2me
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Re: Can lazy husband get alimony/support? [Re: Cinder2]
      #18763 - 06/27/05 04:46 PM

I live in NY. Any advice? Thanks

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Cinder2
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Re: Can lazy husband get alimony/support? [Re: mail2me]
      #18767 - 06/27/05 05:09 PM

Dear mail2me,

He can get alimony in New York, but I'm not sure for how long. In California, most spousal support is now limited to half the length of the marriage. Maybe some New Yorkers on here can provide anecdotal advice on how long a three year marriage might be required to provide spousal support?

Unfortunately, one person's declaration of "he's lazy and won't work" can easily be countered with "she wanted me to stay home and take care of things" and it just becomes your word against his.

Since he owns his own home, he has no rent or mortgage to pay, so that is in your favor. Maybe you should be proactive here and offer him 18 months of some amount you can afford and get him to sign it (with a notary). I swear you could spend a lot more on a lawyer fighting against the support than you might have to just give him.

Cinder


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mail2me
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Re: Can lazy husband get alimony/support? [Re: Cinder2]
      #18772 - 06/27/05 05:27 PM

He never took care of the house, nor was that ever a consideration. His new claim is that he was just too depressed to work and unable to find a job (for 3 yrs!). I also work out of my home so no question here of a "house husband". Most importantly, MY house still has a mortgage. His house is paid for. But the real problem is that HIS house is in his mother's name!!! Understand he's "owned" this house for 15 years. Also his vehicle is in his mother's name too because he had a DWI and didn't want to pay the high insurance rate. Currently he has no auto insurance (because he supposedly has no vehicle) and the car is insured in his mother's name. Of course the mother doesn't even live in the same state so this is just another ruse & means of avoiding ownership or paying for auto insurance. Everything I own is in my name only. There is absolutely nothing in his name.

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gr8Dad
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Be careful there... [Re: mail2me]
      #18830 - 06/28/05 08:13 AM

"His new claim is that he was just too depressed to work and unable to find a job"

That can be even worse than simply not working. Cause not he can claim that he has a disability (yes, depression is a disability), and that you need to support him BECAUSE of that disability, regardless of the length of the marriage.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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mail2me
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Re: Be careful there... [Re: gr8Dad]
      #18913 - 06/28/05 11:15 AM

What about the fact I have household expenses that FAR exceed his expenses (unless you now count the shrink)and would be unable to pay him support without possibly having to sell my house?? Also this so called "depression" he now claims he suffers from was susposedly just diagnoised (again, just a divorce ploy but imagine the shrink would substantiate it)and he hasn't been employeed or seeing a shrink for the entire 3 years until this past month. Would I still be on the hook for his future medical bills AND support?? Can't a judge see through this kind of setup? Do I have any recourse at all? And again, I CAN'T afford his expenses and mine. I'm desperate here!

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mail2me
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Re: Be careful there... [Re: mail2me]
      #18931 - 06/28/05 11:54 AM

Another factor here is that I am already over extended in being able to pay my own bills and expenses without relying on credit cards at this time. In other words, part of my expenses are being charged at present (and in recent past) just to be able to pay bills. HE has no bills & expenses other than his "new" medical bills and monthly utility bills since HIS home (in mother's name) is paid for. I still have a mortgage. How can I be expected to pay for his support when I can't even afford my own???

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matilda
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Can you prove he misrepresented self? [Re: mail2me]
      #19210 - 06/29/05 08:04 PM

I married a man that lied and said he had a college degree, good credit,etc, etc, Since these things are important to me and I based in part my decision to marry him on these things, he misrepresented himself. Is there a round about way that this would work? Maybe an annulment instead of a divorce? If you get an annulment it is like you were never married so he has no rights to her property.

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mail2me
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Re: Can you prove he misrepresented self? [Re: matilda]
      #19239 - 06/29/05 10:32 PM

Very good point, Matilda...and it does apply to many things. I think I'll look into it. Did it actually work in your own case (divorce)? Thanks.

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hey_its_me
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Re: Can lazy husband get alimony/support? [Re: mail2me]
      #19442 - 07/01/05 09:57 AM

He sure can! My husband had to alimony to a very lazy woman. He paid off their home and turned it over to her so she had no mortgage, (she then sold the home for $116,000.00, she had no debts because he paid them off too. She was able-bodied and educated with no children and she still got lifetime alimony of $650.00 a month. We managed to have it terminated after giving her a lump sum settlement and now she is a thing of the past.

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matilda
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Re: Can you prove he misrepresented self? [Re: mail2me]
      #19456 - 07/01/05 11:54 AM

It worked because he realized that I was going to get the divorce no matter what. He gave up any idea of alimony etc. I would talk to a lawyer about specifics. I was told that I could try for an annulment, but if judge didn't accept it that I would have to start over with a divorce. Which basically meant more costs. Even though I had grounds for an annulment we went with the sure bet-divorce.

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Melody
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Hey....it's Diane [Re: hey_its_me]
      #19473 - 07/01/05 12:26 PM

nm

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Karen1
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Re: Hey....it's Diane [Re: Melody]
      #19556 - 07/02/05 10:34 AM

Yeah, I wondered about that also. DO you think she would really actually register?
Karen

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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".


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Melody
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Are you kidding? How could she resist [Re: Karen1]
      #19591 - 07/02/05 09:57 PM

bragging about supporting her deadbeat so they could screw the exwife. It's not so much that I support the ex wife that much....just that there must have been some legal reason why she was awarded what she was awarded...and I resent the awful attitude and maneuvering that has gone on to avoid owning up to one's responsibilities and obligations.

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