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missa
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Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!!
      #759043 - 08/10/11 07:26 AM

My ex has had his wages garnished for past due arrears for a few years now and like clockwork I receive the child support without any problem!! Well, I haven't received the July child support so I called his place of employment and spoke to the person who handles it and she proceeds to tell me that he is currently working for another company in Nevada!!!! I received the child support in June and I knew then that he had been working in Nevada for the same company he's been employed with for the past 10 years so I smell something fishy is going on and I'm being lied to!! I then called the child support office for help and told them about it and they told me I would have to call back at the end of this month before they can do anything!!!! I'm so upset because school is going to start and I need to get my son clothes and all the necessities!!! After getting upset and stressing out about it, I had to contact my ex, which I have no way to contact him except through his new girlfriend which is a bunch of BS!!!! I was nice and asked her via facebook message if she could have him call me because it was important and the BS I went through with her acting like such a stupid [censored] and playing childish games upset me and pissed me off!!! I spoke to him over the weekend and he told me he would send money this coming friday which I'm hoping and praying he will keep his word!!! Now I guess it's just a waiting game until the end of the month!!!

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ssmom79
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: missa]
      #759047 - 08/10/11 09:09 AM

It's possible he was working for the same company for ten years, was contracted out to a company and eventually transferred over to be employed by the other company.

You will need to wait until August 30 before you can call about the July support. It sucks but it's how it works. However if he has changed employers, why don't you call and see if you can pursue that with the child support agency?

Why are you unable to purchase anything for your son without receiving a child support payment? Do you have any money to purchase minimal supplies? Clothing can wait unless his is in rags, if necessary a local consignment shop often has nice things for cheap, just to hold you over until the payments start coming regular again. Again, if he has transferred his employer, the child support collection agency will need to follow up there to get the garnishment order to his new employer.

If you want to hear about getting screwed, stick around and listen to some of the stories here. There are some people here who are years behind on receiving payments, some people never received even one payment. There are some people grossly overpaying their support. Be thankful you're working with one payment being late and stay on the child support agency, hopefully it won't get too far behind. Be prepared for it and plan ahead, sometimes you can't depend on the other parent to support your kids. Sad, but it happens.


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hanzblinx
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: ssmom79]
      #759051 - 08/10/11 10:48 AM

Everybody needs to have a savings account whether or not they have children at all. I don't get the philosophy of women sitting around waiting for money to appear, then going into panic mode when it does not. You need to have 3 months income in savings at minimum. There is no excuse for financial panic. I'm a scout leader and all the little boys know the motto: BE PREPARED. If a 12 year old can figure that lesson out so can you.

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cpnebraska
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: hanzblinx]
      #759057 - 08/10/11 12:23 PM

[quote]Everybody needs to have a savings account whether or not they have children at all. I don't get the philosophy of women sitting around waiting for money to appear, then going into panic mode when it does not. You need to have 3 months income in savings at minimum. There is no excuse for financial panic. I'm a scout leader and all the little boys know the motto: BE PREPARED. If a 12 year old can figure that lesson out so can you. [/quote]

It isn't always possible to have a savings. When you live month to month on a very small amount. Also sometimes emergencies happen that wipe out what savings you have managed.

Keep in mind some people are wasteful and just irresponsible but others are just trying to make it.

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hanzblinx
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: cpnebraska]
      #759059 - 08/10/11 01:13 PM

[quote]

It isn't always possible to have a savings. When you live month to month on a very small amount. Also sometimes emergencies happen that wipe out what savings you have managed.

Keep in mind some people are wasteful and just irresponsible but others are just trying to make it. [/quote]

If you stomp your feet and get mad every time it rains, you still get wet. If you plan ahead, get an umbrella, you stay dry REGARDLESS of what the weather does. I can't imagine she wants to spend the next decade or two a financial "victim" at the whims of the father. That's not the path I would take. We have completely different thought processes.


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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: hanzblinx]
      #759065 - 08/10/11 03:39 PM

"If you stomp your feet and get mad every time it rains, you still get wet. If you plan ahead, get an umbrella, you stay dry REGARDLESS of what the weather does. "

Unless the wind rips the umbrella out of your hand...


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finz
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759170 - 08/12/11 01:10 AM

lol

And that does fit the situation that some find themselves in when finances are sooo tight that getting ahead IS NOT POSSIBLE. Especially with current unemployment issues, for some it is not possible.

For many though, I think it could be possible if they were willing to do the work of making a budget, getting a second or third job, trading babysitting with friends/family to save on childcare, and giving up some non neccesities. I have a friend who is also disabled who is always living paycheck to paycheck. She can't work. Her husband works 2 24 hour shifts per week and apparently isn't interested in an additional job. Multiple catch 22 issues like....Can't afford to rehaul the sucky electrical system in their house, but go through countless new fuses at $5 a pop (several a day in the summer with AC running). Could save thousands if they didn't have to pay for the fuses, but have to pay for the fuses because they can't afford the new electrical system and their credit is shot. The late fees on their payments add up significantly. Both are still smokers though. And paying for 4 cell phones a month (kids 9 and 12), cable, internet, etc. Plenty of ways they could cut back if they REALLY wanted to.


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finz
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: missa]
      #759192 - 08/12/11 12:36 PM

Missa....I hope you get the money soon.

Best advice I've seen on here is: live as if you weren't going to get another check. Yes, the check should come regularly, your ex has a responsibility to the kids


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hanzblinx
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759195 - 08/12/11 12:42 PM

[quote]Unless the wind rips the umbrella out of your hand... [/quote]

OK you win. She will never be anything but a victim and nothing is ever her responsibility because she's always a victim. There. Congrats on winning the debate.

By the way, if the father dies in a car accident this year, or secretly moves to Brazil, and she can't get by without his payments...then what? just a thought. I can't understand being dependent on anybody, especially an ex spouse. Too many people (women)are raised with the mentality of dependency. Way too many.


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MrsB
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: missa]
      #759199 - 08/12/11 12:57 PM

Missa - do you work? I can understand why you would expect is every month, since you've received it consistently for so many years.

Hope you get it figured out soon and the check is in the mail today!


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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: MrsB]
      #759200 - 08/12/11 01:00 PM

"By the way, if the father dies in a car accident this year, or secretly moves to Brazil, and she can't get by without his payments...then what? just a thought. I can't understand being dependent on anybody, especially an ex spouse. Too many people (women)are raised with the mentality of dependency. Way too many. "

My comment had nothing to do with dependency on anyone. Only that there are times when planning ahead by having an emergency fund still may not address all the issues.

You want to give speeches about women sitting around waiting for money to appear, maybe the OP does, maybe she doesn't. But your comment that a savings umbrella will keep you dry "regardless" of the weather is false. It helps, no doubt, but there will be times when it's still not enough... we don't know how much or little she prepared.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: missa]
      #759214 - 08/12/11 02:13 PM

Frog and the scorpion. He is paying an an increased amount because he was willing to NOT pay. You are owed it, understand the frustration, not much more you can do with someone not willing to pay. My ex has a warrant out...took four YEARS of non payment to get to this point, and they will only arrest her if they stop her, she never goes anywhere, thus it grinds to a halt. I agree, check the status, has he changed companies, did they take it out, but because of the change in companies, the transfer paperwork takes a few weeks to go through. They may have taken it from his check, and sent it in with the paperwork. But if he is just late, well, pursue all avenues, but understand it is a long ride.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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igotthekids
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: MrsB]
      #759242 - 08/12/11 07:23 PM

Good luck my ex wife is always behind. I never could count on her then. So why would I count on her now.

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Debi
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: missa]
      #759276 - 08/13/11 09:50 AM

It's possible that even if he is working for the same company that payroll is done out of the division he is at now, and not the one he was at previously. If that's the case it could be a matter of the paperwork just being a bit behind.

As others have pointed out this is a huge issue for you but in the grand scheme of things it's not that big a deal yet. My daughter's father works for a company who screws around with CS all the time. Some times I will get the payments bi-weekly as I am suppossed to and other times they wait until the last possible second to send in the full months worth of CS. They know there isn't anything that can be done as long as they aren't 6 weeks behind. They always manage to get it in under the wire.

In your case I wouldn't assume anything funny is going on quite yet. Yes, it's an inconvienience and yes your son deserves that money. It sounds like you'll receive it although a little late. As others have said don't count on that money. Consider it a bonus. That's what I do. Everything my daughter "needs" comes from my paycheck (or hers as she's 17 and has a part time job) when the CS comes it's extra.

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DedicatedDad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Debi]
      #759279 - 08/13/11 09:59 AM

I read a poster where the CS was up to 30 days late on a consistant basis, and they were bouncing an average of 4 checks a month ($120 in fees at that time). I suggested they take out a $1000 cash advance and put it in checking and never touch it unless CS wasn't there, then if they had to spend out of it, to immediately replace it when CS arrives. That way they are always covered.

Or, just tighten the belt for a year and add $80 to their account for a year to get to the same point. It changes a crisis to an inconvenience.


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hanzblinx
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759443 - 08/15/11 12:09 PM

[quote]we don't know how much or little she prepared. [/quote]

I'm assuming someone who can't afford school supplies for her own child is not in the financially prepared category. All custodial parents (at least in my state) have a responsibility to provide child support money themselves. Typically it's far less than the ncp contribution. But if you look at the CS calculation worksheet there are amounts for both cp and ncp to pay for the child. Difference is if the cp never pays towards the child, nobody knows because it's not tracked.


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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: hanzblinx]
      #759444 - 08/15/11 12:40 PM

"Difference is if the cp never pays towards the child, nobody knows because it's not tracked."

Never? lmao


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759451 - 08/15/11 01:08 PM

In my state, the NCP is required by statute to provide $X of dollars by child support, or face penalties of law if they don't (as with most, if not all). The CP does not have any requirement monitarily. If CS is enough to meet the bare minimum (or other forms of income) and keep CPS away, that's all that's required. If the CP contributes $0 or less than $0 (they spend the CS on themselves) there is no penalty.

Here's an example:

NCP makes $4K/month, CS paid is $1000.
CP makes $20,000/month, CS received is $1000.

CP spends $100 a month on child feeding them ramon, food shelf junk and goodwill clothes and nothing else.

In the eyes of CPS and CS folks, the above is perfectly acceptable.

Note that the above isn't typical, but with the laws the way they are, it is possible.


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LexieBelle
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759457 - 08/15/11 02:34 PM

[quote]"Difference is if the cp never pays towards the child, nobody knows because it's not tracked."

Never? lmao [/quote]

-------->> "Never" is probably extreme, but take ex's first wife. Her home is paid for by the 2nd baby daddy. Ex is now paying a little over $1000 a month in base child support. Kid's clothes come from boyfriend's other daughter's hand me downs. Mom works 2 days a week, if that.. when she's not vacationing here there and everywhere, typically now WITHOUT either of her children. She gets free medical through the state so the kids aren't costing her anything in that regard. I'd say EVERY dollar of their kid's basic needs? Paid by MEN (not necessarily kid's dad, since the baby daddy of child 2 isn't child 1's father). She's not accountable for jackshyt, to ANYBODY. I'm even willing to bet that she's getting federal funds for "supposedly" running a shelter. I'm 99.9999999% sure that's why she'll never let ex see a tax return.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: LexieBelle]
      #759458 - 08/15/11 02:42 PM

The problem is that when ANYONE suggests that a CP be held accountable, they are CRUCIFIED. "It's SUCH a hard job...there is little reward...you have NO idea..." yadda yadda yadda.

But for a MISERABLE job, quite a few people fight AWFUL hard to GET that status.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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LexieBelle
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: gr8Dad]
      #759459 - 08/15/11 02:53 PM

I don't think that's fair either. I have no respect for women like my ex's first wife, and I have ZERO problem being held accountable for where the $500 a month I get goes. NONE. Housing is $1400+ a month. Childcare is $650 a month. I think I can stop there ;) But, for argument's sake... in a 2 week period alone this month, I spent $300 in medicine co-pays. And figure my costs here? Are running me minimum $800/month less than where I was. Travel costs anywhere from $200/month (if we do the ferry exclusively) to $500/month (if I have to do the drive/stay in a hotel route). Anytime anyone wants to see what I lay out for this kid? I got NO issues. Her first year post-divorce cost me $24,000 JUST in childcare and medical. Dad's contribution? $550. If you minus out what I paid FOR him? -$3,500. But, my ex gets a massively sweet financial deal. Of course, had I known that he'd hand that savings over to the first wife for THEIR kid? I probably wouldn't have stayed so generous.

And yes, I'm pissy today about it, lol. The high road/doing the right thing? Is getting reallllyyyyyyy old/tiresome.


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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: LexieBelle]
      #759461 - 08/15/11 03:36 PM

"Here's an example:

NCP makes $4K/month, CS paid is $1000.
CP makes $20,000/month, CS received is $1000. "

Here's another example:
NCP's income can not be determined because NCP has two "businesses", even though NCP does not file taxes for either one. NCP owes thousands in arrears. NCP has been to court numerous times for nonpayment over the last decade, pays for a few months and then stops again, restarting the cycle. In the mean time, CP pays 100%, whether cs comes or not.

Note that the above isn't typical, but with the laws the way they are, it is possible.


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LexieBelle
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759462 - 08/15/11 03:39 PM

It goes both ways.. indeed. I have the pleasure in my situation of seeing it happen one way, and being the "having to deal with it" when it happens the other. I'm going to write a book someday :)

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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759463 - 08/15/11 03:49 PM

The big difference?

A minority of CP's misuse child support. A minority of NCP's don't PAY child support. The FIRST fact is used to NOT make them accountable for the money, the second fact is used to MAKE NCP's accountable for the money.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: gr8Dad]
      #759464 - 08/15/11 03:53 PM

"The big difference?

A minority of CP's misuse child support. A minority of NCP's don't PAY child support. The FIRST fact is used to NOT make them accountable for the money, the second fact is used to MAKE NCP's accountable for the money. "

The reason NCPs are held accountable for the money is that it's cheaper for the state when NCPs pay for their own kids instead of taxpayers through welfare. This does not apply to CPs, hence no reason for the state to hold CPs accountable unless it's a case of neglect.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759465 - 08/15/11 04:13 PM

Yeah, cause when the CP gets welfare, the NCP has to pay THAT as well.

Well, I guess DISCRIMINATION is okay...as long its "cheaper".

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: gr8Dad]
      #759467 - 08/15/11 04:23 PM

"Yeah, cause when the CP gets welfare, the NCP has to pay THAT as well."
For welfare, the CP's income is taken into account, as is cs... cs coming into the home reduces the amount of benefits paid out. I've never heard of an NCP having to pay for welfare the CP receives... I have heard of the NCP paying welfare received on behalf of the children, and which case the ordered cs goes to the state, not the CP.

"Well, I guess DISCRIMINATION is okay...as long its "cheaper". "

NCP is not a protected class.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759468 - 08/15/11 04:25 PM

"NCP is not a protected class."

Neither were ANY of the "protected" classes...until they were.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: gr8Dad]
      #759469 - 08/15/11 04:26 PM

"Neither were ANY of the "protected" classes...until they were."

Then start the movement or quitcha bitchin.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759471 - 08/15/11 04:54 PM

I am IN the movement. The problem is that the MOSTLY female 85% of parents who are CP's are willing to LIE, and twist stats to KEEP their advantage.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: gr8Dad]
      #759472 - 08/15/11 05:10 PM

"I am IN the movement. The problem is that the MOSTLY female 85% of parents who are CP's are willing to LIE, and twist stats to KEEP their advantage. "

You want your ex-wife to be a class protected from discrimination because she's an NCP, so you can be held accountable for how you spend your money on your kids?


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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759473 - 08/15/11 05:26 PM

Yep. Have NO problem being treated the same as her. I don't think, with three kids, I would have trouble justifying the $200 she is SUPPOSED to be paying a month. But I wouldn't HAVE to, cause she doesn't pay, LOL.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: gr8Dad]
      #759474 - 08/15/11 05:34 PM

"Yep. Have NO problem being treated the same as her. I don't think, with three kids, I would have trouble justifying the $200 she is SUPPOSED to be paying a month. But I wouldn't HAVE to, cause she doesn't pay, LOL. "

Okay, here's your chance... you're the CP, you believe you should be held accountable... how much a month is your CS share to spend on your kids, and how do you spend it?


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759476 - 08/15/11 06:04 PM

""Here's an example:

NCP makes $4K/month, CS paid is $1000.
CP makes $20,000/month, CS received is $1000. "

Here's another example:
NCP's income can not be determined because NCP has two "businesses", even though NCP does not file taxes for either one. NCP owes thousands in arrears. NCP has been to court numerous times for nonpayment over the last decade, pays for a few months and then stops again, restarting the cycle. In the mean time, CP pays 100%, whether cs comes or not.

Note that the above isn't typical, but with the laws the way they are, it is possible."

That's more than possible. It read about it happening often, especially with business owners, who can easily hide income.

What I do knowis my situation is common, at least in my state. My CS is twice what I spend on the kids with their 50% time with me.

With that said, I could have the kids 100% of the time and receive no support, and I would be financially ahead from where I am now.


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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #759479 - 08/15/11 06:14 PM

"What I do knowis my situation is common, at least in my state."

Incomes of 4k and 20k/month are common in MN?


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759480 - 08/15/11 06:21 PM

Not the income part, the part of paying double what support really should be, at least if you are lower to middle income.

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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #759481 - 08/15/11 06:24 PM

"Not the income part, the part of paying double what support really should be, at least if you are lower to middle income."

I've found that lower income NCPs don't pay even close to 50% of what kids actually cost. Double of what support should be? How?


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759482 - 08/15/11 06:26 PM

I already told how.

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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759483 - 08/15/11 06:29 PM

"how much a month is your CS share to spend on your kids, and how do you spend it?"

Well, lets see, rent is $700 a month, so about $100 of that is for the one remaining child (remember, two of mine just turned 18 and/or graduated HS). Figure $20 a month for utilities, $200 a month for food, average $50 a month for clothing/shoes, etc. Add in $25 a week for school lunches, that is $100 a month. That is $470 a month in BARE MINIMUM expenses, she is ordered to pay $200 a month. I am covered.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Redlegg
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #759484 - 08/15/11 06:32 PM

Actually they came up with a percentage based on income, what you choose to spend on your kids is your business, and what your ex does with it would seem to be hers. In a perfect world it would be dead on, you and your ex would agree on what the kids cost, no NCP's would question the CP because they know it's for the kids, and the CP would just allow the NCP to pick a number for support because the NCP also know it is about the kids..better watch out though, it is dangerous in that land, what with the unicorns running free and glitter balls just dropping everywhere.....

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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: gr8Dad]
      #759485 - 08/15/11 06:32 PM

"I already told how. "

Your example doesn't work for lower income NCPs, who you claim pay double what support should be.


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759486 - 08/15/11 06:49 PM

Maybe we have a different definition of what lower income is. Regardless, I'm not interested in conversing with you.

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Sherron
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #759487 - 08/15/11 07:01 PM

"Maybe we have a different definition of what lower income is. Regardless, I'm not interested in conversing with you. "

Only cause you know you're wrong lol. Look, I'll give you an example. NCP is lower income, or what my definition of lower income is, ~$20k/yr. CS for 2 kids is set at $436/month, which if split evenly turns into $218/month per child, or counting 30 days/month, $7.26 per child per day. You claim that lower income NCPs pay double what support should be, so that brings it down to $3.63 per day per child, which you apparently believe is sufficient support for a child by the NCP. I happen to disagree with you on that one.


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ssmom79
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: LexieBelle]
      #759511 - 08/16/11 09:36 AM

The high road does get old LB, I've been on it for a long time. Now, as SD is starting to move toward being 70/30 with us being the 70, I'm wondering how high is the road and how frickin' long is it!!?? At $625 a week for two kids, it's a lot of support. Enough to ensure they can eat out, and BM can keep them in a nice home.

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DedicatedDad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Sherron]
      #759513 - 08/16/11 09:48 AM

I'm not interested in talking due to the condescending tone. I had enough of that from my ex spouse.

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DedicatedDad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: ssmom79]
      #759514 - 08/16/11 09:49 AM

$625 a week isn't child support anymore.....that's where it moves into the embedded alimony range.

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ssmom79
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #759515 - 08/16/11 09:52 AM

To clarify, I should add that we pay $1250 a month, but the kids are with us 50/50 *actually SD is closer to 70/30* so I say $625 a week. We aren't paying $2500 a month though.

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DedicatedDad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: ssmom79]
      #759517 - 08/16/11 09:55 AM

I got ya....I've never added in what I provide in my home into the support figure.

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LexieBelle
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: ssmom79]
      #759520 - 08/16/11 10:01 AM

It's long :( I'm 4 1/2 years in and have 16 more to go ;) Well, if you go by the "21" age in NY, which is where our case remains.

I will say my days of kissing ass/paving the road all smooth are all done. I'm not going out of my way for diddly anymore. Like she starts kindergarten in 2 weeks. Orientation is tomorrow night. NORMALLY, I would kinda ask what the plans were, offer assistance, yadda yadda. I'd get all the ifnormation, hand it over on a silver platter, remind him, etc. Nope. Here's the school website, the notices have gone in the mail, I've confirmed you're getting all the same notices I am, DIRECT from the school.. have a nice day! Done. I'm our child's mother, not his and I don't get paid enough to be his secretary so I'm done. Needless to say? he's not coming to orientation, not something that he'd just SAY either. it was "oh that 'thing' is Wednesday night? Yeah, ummm.. why don't you just give me a call after to let me know how it went?" That's his way of saying he's not coming, without actually SAYING he's not coming. Whatever...


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ssmom79
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #759524 - 08/16/11 10:08 AM

I don't even want to do that DD! It's a lot. They have a very nice life and I guess we pay for it wherever they go. I try to see past my annoyances and look at it like the kids are guaranteed a nice home and nicer things as long as we overpay.

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ssmom79
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: LexieBelle]
      #759525 - 08/16/11 10:11 AM

Thankfully I'm on the other end. Our CS will end at graduation for both kids. SS had two years, SD has four. After that the support ends, BM tells the kids she can't afford them and they move in with us for college. She can't pay for college, she's literally living paycheck to CS payment to paycheck. So we will use the CS to pay for college and when that is over, it's all over!

GOOD LUCK GETTING THROUGH IT!


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hanzblinx
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: ssmom79]
      #759528 - 08/16/11 10:28 AM

[quote]Thankfully I'm on the other end. Our CS will end at graduation for both kids. SS had two years, SD has four. After that the support ends, BM tells the kids she can't afford them and they move in with us for college. She can't pay for college, she's literally living paycheck to CS payment to paycheck. So we will use the CS to pay for college and when that is over, it's all over!

GOOD LUCK GETTING THROUGH IT! [/quote]


It's a big problem when women are intentionally unemployed and live from CS payment to CS payment because they got pregnant with a financially successful man. The money should support the kids PLUS the cp should also contribute something, however small it may be.

My ex does that (intentionally unemployed), and my girlfriend's sister may be worse. One of her baby daddy's is an attorney. She completely lives off her daughter's child support because that's how high it is. She won't have to get a job for another 10 years either. One day I might slip and tell her to stop stealing her daughter's money, and apply for a job. Not that she would care.

It's theft, pure and simple.


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MrsB
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: hanzblinx]
      #759532 - 08/16/11 10:58 AM

True. And it's unfortunate when NCP's shirk out of their responsibilities. There are sh*tty parents on both sides of the fence - and it only hurts the kids.

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ssmom79
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: MrsB]
      #759546 - 08/16/11 11:48 AM

Heck yea!

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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: MrsB]
      #759551 - 08/16/11 12:20 PM

The problem is that the law and the family court system ASSUMES that the NCP will shirk their duties and "pre-punishes" them for it. While at the same time, the ASSUME that the CP will do everything right and gives them CHANCE after CHANCE after CHANCE to screw up, all the while, expecting the NCP to PAY for the legal means to enforce the order.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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czolgosz
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: gr8Dad]
      #759809 - 08/18/11 05:02 PM


Need more men to stop paying "child support" to the Ex.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: czolgosz]
      #759810 - 08/18/11 05:16 PM

Yeah, thats it, lets fight the deadbeat label by making MORE deadbeats. We can change the system, but we must do it within the confines of the law.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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czolgosz
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: gr8Dad]
      #759815 - 08/18/11 05:40 PM


Oh no, a condition greedy entity calling men scary names for not participating in the sham.

Fvck the system.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: czolgosz]
      #759821 - 08/18/11 06:11 PM

Child support needs to be REFORMED, not ELIMINATED.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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panther
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! *DELETED* [Re: missa]
      #760206 - 08/22/11 11:30 AM

Post deleted by dsAdmin

--------------------
://[censored].costumewonderland.org]Evil Mad Hatter Costumes


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Buckeye
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: panther]
      #760260 - 08/23/11 06:26 AM

I think whatever the rules/laws are for child support should be the same for withholding a child for visitation. If CP withholds visitation for a month, NCP should not have to pay support. I just think there should be the same rules/laws and punishments for both.

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MrsB
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: Buckeye]
      #760261 - 08/23/11 06:31 AM

I think they should have the same consequences (if no good reason for withholding) however I don't think they should be linked in that way. You'd have some CP's withholding because they don't care (or receive CS anyway) about the CS and some NCP's not seeing the child just so they don't have to pay. Granted that probably isn't the norm - but it'd happen.

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CatherineH
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Re: Getting Screwed w/Child Support!!!! [Re: MrsB]
      #765781 - 10/26/11 06:23 PM

Wow I have received no child support in 11 months. My ex, while we were married stole all my money and saving so I had to buy the kids clothes from the good will. I am lucky that I will graduate in 7 months as an RN though. I was always the one who worked while I was married though when I was in the military. I paid all the divorce court fees and am glad it is over because now I can afford to buy my kids new clothes and pay for a decent daycare. I have a new man who works and does not mind helping with the bills or watching the kids. And my ex did steal my identity as well. Just better yourself, it is hard but not impossible to do it with out your kids Dad.

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