shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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no..they are divorced...lol, i meant seperated.
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shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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no they arent divorced..i meant seperated..lol, geeze...
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19801
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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That's all real nice, but that isn't what you said FIRST...you said: "he has been afraid of going to court and having a judge assign his child support. thinking it would be way more than what he can get her to agree to."
What I'm hearing is that it's about the money, NOT about the child. And the fact that he is getting "screwed"...I'm sorry, but that's his own damn fault that he doesn't have any balls!!! He's his OWN worst enemy!
He goes to court...even if he doesn't get custody...he gets a Parenting Plan that she can't screw with UNLESS she wants to end up with her ass in a sling. He picks up child when it's HIS time, she picks up child when it's HER time. Daycare expenses get split, medical expenses get split...hell, transportation can be split. He gets credit for paying for the medical insuarnce...they split the cost of activities.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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yes you are totally right on about all of it. but the money...is about the child..so, i still dont get that part. I mean of course he will be concerned about teh amount of money he will have to pay, its his money and its his child. the whole reason she hasnt agreed to the divorce is because of the money. the whole thing is about money. thats what it has boiled down to.
but again, you are so right. i think it would be best for him to have it decided by a judge. he would probably realize he has been giving too much. too much of everything. he has been screwing himself. I just wonder why some of the attorneys he has seen cant let him know that already...???, but anyway..cant wait to talk to him again today. he was planning to call his lawyer again.
thanks for all your help.
i told him to stop giving her any money and just start putting it in an account to hold for her, until she can let him start seeing his kid again, or until they go to court.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19801
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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i told him to stop giving her any money and just start putting it in an account to hold for her, until she can let him start seeing his kid again, or until they go to court.
---> Actually...that's NOT a good idea...he is punishing the child for the actions of the mother and the Judge will frown on it because Parenting Time and Child Support are TWO different issues. Just can't withhold Parenting Time for non-payment and you can't withhold payment for violations of Parenting Time.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19801
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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He needs to document EVERY dime he has given to her for "child support", EVERY dime he has spent on daycare, medical insurance, etc.
He needs to document ALL his time with the child.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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ok, so thats a stupid idea..., well that is the only leverage he has on her. especialy now that she doesnt need him for anything else.
he does document everything, has only paid her wtih checks, saves everything...i did know to tell him that.
so, i guess he will just go without seeing his son and let her continue giving him the downers, continue letting her speak badly about him to his son, ..keep paying for everything and try to maintain calmness until the court date??? do people actually do this?
what do you think would happen if he just picked him up from daycare adn refused to let her have him? probably stupid too right?
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Misslisa1017
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 05/18/06
Posts: 2056
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Yes people actually do, do this.
Tell him to just hang in there. My son too had to bite his tongue through out a long process of paternity and then waiting to see his son unsupervised. She didn't want the baby to know him. Why? No one knows. Her issue.
Son now has every weekend with his son and is going for 50/50 custody. Will he get it? Probably not, but at least he's trying. Mostly everything is legal now. He's paying child support and has visitations and paternity is done.
My advice to you and him is this.......BE PATIENT. The courts can take time.
Good luck to you
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shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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its just insane. Im so thankful for my wonderful husband.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19801
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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so, i guess he will just go without seeing his son and let her continue giving him the downers, continue letting her speak badly about him to his son, ..keep paying for everything and try to maintain calmness until the court date??? do people actually do this?
---> Yep.
what do you think would happen if he just picked him up from daycare adn refused to let her have him? probably stupid too right?
---> Actually...since they are still legally married and there are NO court orders of any kind...there is NOTHING to prevent him from doing so. I wouldn't recommend it UNLESS he has ALL his ducks in a row...and then he files for divorce and emergency temporary custody (based on medical issues and her extortion) on the say he does it.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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