shortmarriage
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/07/08
Posts: 1773
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Your heart is broken. But, you need to be thinking this through, because how you move forward will affect you for years to come.
A doctor/therapist would be very helpful to you now. Have you taken meds before? Sleeping and eating are very helpful! Exercise. Talk to friends, family, and us on here. Time is the best healer of all, I think. Just take one day at a time.
Being angry, hurt, resentful, sad, lonely and all the other feelings you’re feeling are perfectly normal. It's ok to have those feelings, but it's totally different to act on them. Eventually, you’ll realize that being angry and wanting revenge to hurt the other person will do you no good. You must do what's best for you and your child.
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sadinwi
recently joined
Reged: 02/16/09
Posts: 15
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Wow, 5 years and you still come to the divorce forum? Do you still need the support from the site or are you just lending a hand to crazy people like me?
How long does it take to stop hating being alone every night and every morning?
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sadinwi
recently joined
Reged: 02/16/09
Posts: 15
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SM - I've never taken any meds before. Before all this, I think I was a pretty normal person. ;) What do I even ask for? I've lost 20 pounds since the middle of Jan and am down to about 145. It's crazy...how it comes off without even trying all the sudden...guess I can thank him for that.
I do know in my head that I need to stop feeling/acting this way. My emotions just get the better of me and I lose my mind...
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26804
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Crazy like you, ha, your an amateur :) just read up and you will see, normal is relative and there is no recipe. Its a good group of people. It grows on you and you will see so many things from differnt perspectives. And every once in awhile you actually do get to help someone and all together that makes it worth coming back to.
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shortmarriage
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/07/08
Posts: 1773
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I just sent you a private message. Did you get it?
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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I am so 24 :0)...
I divorced in 1996 when I was active and my then husband was just released from active duty after 15 years (idiot). Anyhoo you will go on and feel better but it is tough at first. I still hate my ex though...luckily we rarely talk and we live 600 miles apart:)My son is now at the age where he can communicate with my ex without me having to dial or pick up a phone! It is fabulous.
I wish my ex was still active, that way I could have been guaranteed some child support. Enforcing support in the civilian world when one parent will do anything to aviod paying is TOUGH! That is why I said look at the big picutre. At some point you will stop caring who he is bedding and worry more about your child's financial and medical well being. (not that you don't already)
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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jsp
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/30/05
Posts: 4197
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Your're getting good advice - my husband was cheated on when he was active duty - his wife and good friend (who was active duty) - husband in Korea - took him years to trust again... then I came along... I know this sounds strange, but I have to admit, I'm so greatful for what she did and the fact she left or I never would have gotten such a wonderful, loving husband. Hang in there! Divorce him - once a cheater, always a cheater (or at least in my mind). Support him in being a father as cheating and being a parent are two seperate issues and your child needs a father. Support his military career for the benefits and child support. And, take the time to grieve and morn the loss of youru marriage, but, luckily you are very young and still have plenty of time left to get remarried and have a wonderful life ahead of you even though it doesn't feel like it right now. (My husband said he'd never get married again <g> - guess I messed that up for him).
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sadinwi
recently joined
Reged: 02/16/09
Posts: 15
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I just don't get this whole time will make me feel better stuff. When will that start to kick in? I have literally been up for like 48 hours. I am so tired but when I shut my eyes and I can't stop my mind from thinking about everything and breaking down all over again. I even took night quill last night and I still didn't sleep. (Did a lot of throwing up for taking that on an empty stomach...) I just hate this. I want to hurt him as bad as he's hurting me...
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26804
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You do don't you. I have been there. It is not easy, you have to start just getting through the day. I didn't sleep, I barely ate, I even washed every wall in the house by hand. You think it doesn't help, but it does. Take a walk, just do things. it won't take your mind off it, but it does help. It is going to hurt, and pretty bad. The good news is that just means your normal. Did the sun come up this morning???????
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sadinwi
recently joined
Reged: 02/16/09
Posts: 15
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Somehow the sun did come up this morning, although only after me being up the entire night waiting for it. I don't understand how someone can be SOOO tired but not able to sleep.
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