SweetCookie07
recently joined
Reged: 02/08/10
Posts: 2
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I have a 14 month old child, and I am divorcing my military husband. He and I just do not get along and we have decided to get divorced and see other people. Well, we are in the process of getting divorced, but my boyfriend and I want to get an apartment together. He is a very responsible, mature adult and displays nothing but love and affection to the both of us. In the state of Alabama, would I be at risk of losing my son by getting a place with my boyfriend? My soon to be ex is military anyway, so I would not think he would get primary custody anyway due to him getting deployed and whatnot. But should there be any alarm with moving in with my boyfriend? I should not lose my child unless I am an unfit parent, correct?
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DeeCan
veteran
Reged: 04/05/08
Posts: 1266
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Have you considered the effects on the child? Even at 14 months old, he is aware of changes around him. He may not be able to put a name to them, but he is aware and it can have long term effects.
Why not trying living on your own for a while. Make the transition a better one for everyone involved. Jumping from the frying pan into the fire seldom works out like one had imagined.
I'm not how Alabama thinks about infidelity and child custody; however, you do need to be aware that many members of the military do get custody. Don't bank on him not getting custody just because he could be deployed.
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Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3032
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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In order to have custody active duty military members simply need to present a plan for someone to take care of the child while they're deployed so that the child's needs are taken care of and the child itself is taken care of.
There are MANY active duty moms and dads out there now, more than ever before with all the reserve components and National Guard troops being called back in.
Why would you move in with a boyfriend at this point in life? Your child IS aware of changes and will react accordingly. DeeCan had a good suggestion, live on your own for a bit and make the transition smoother for everyone.
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SweetCookie07
recently joined
Reged: 02/08/10
Posts: 2
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Well, I have discussed matters with my boyfriend. I have told him that he can get an apartment, and he and I can spend time together and all that fun stuff, but until my divorce is final and things are on a rather calm and steady path again, It may be a while before I move in with him. I said we will still be able to see each other just like we always have been, but until things on my end are 110% smoothed away, I am not moving in with you just yet.
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