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fullofquestions
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Reged: 04/14/10
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too much all at once?
      #651776 - 04/14/10 08:23 AM

my wife and i are separating and are mutually agreeable to dissolving our marriage of 8 years. we have two beautiful children, aged 7 and 4. we are not hostile towards eachother and are navigating through this as amicably as possible. the kids have no idea of our plans at this point... our initial plan was to put the family home on the market as soon as the kids were out of school for the summer. my wife would take the kids and in with her parents 50 miles away. as such, the kids would lose their home, their friends, their school, their neighborhood, everything they know all at once. is it too much all at once? should we try to keep them here in their home and give them a chance to adjust to living without their dad? i would appreciate any and all opinions.

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finz
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Re: too much all at once? [Re: fullofquestions]
      #652110 - 04/14/10 08:25 PM

While keeping then in their home/school would be nice if possible, I wouldn't do that if it would totally screw your finances. I think that both you and stbx feeling more financially secure going into this next chapter of your lifes is an important consideration too.

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fullofquestions
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Re: too much all at once? [Re: finz]
      #652326 - 04/15/10 09:43 AM

Thank you for your response, finz. We do not believe keeping the kids in their home will screw our finances any more than moving them away. And allow me to add a little more detail.... My stbx's parent's home would be an affordable temporary living arrangement for her and the kids, but it's overcrowded and offers little in the way of privacy and peace. She knows she would not be happy there long-term and would need a place of her own anyhow. She *might* be happier living closer to her parents, but is that "maybe" enough weight to justify disrupting the kids lives to this degree? We are leaning towards trying to keep the kids in their current home. If that arrangement doesn't work out for any reason, then we'll know that we at least gave it our best effort.

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finz
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Re: too much all at once? [Re: fullofquestions]
      #653761 - 04/19/10 11:45 PM

I think it would be nice to let them stay where they are if you can manage it. Some parents can even manage getting a local apartment and the adults switch houses so the kids stay in their own home.

If the house will eventually be sold, I would do it sooner rather than later. Staying more than a year means the younger one will also be in school. The longer they have time to bond with classmates in that school system, the harder a move will be for them, IMO.


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