emelbee3
recently joined
Reged: 08/22/07
Posts: 10
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I am the OP here, so let me answer a few questions. My ex and I have always lived in MA. His scheduled visitation is alternating weekends, but usually ends up being 2-3 days a month, as his schedule rotates and while we are supposed to reschedule his missed visits, his recent move 2 hours away makes it impossible, as he doesn't "have time" according to him.
If I was able to move to AZ, he would see them more days than he does now. Last spring he went 42 days without seeing them because he went on vacation and then worked during the other weekends. He only sees them 1/2 the summer because it's in our divorce agreement. The first summer he didn't take them, so the judge ordered he pay my day care costs for the time they are supposed to be with him. He really is uninvolved, and I'm not bitter, just honest.
The kids would spend 9-10 weeks with him during summer, 2 weeks in October, 2 in December and 1 in March. The move isn't intended to take the kids from him.
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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I am the OP here, so let me answer a few questions.
>>>>>> No questions there but I'll refer to your first post .
What information to I need to provide to the court to get permission to relocate the kids?
>>>>>>> Follow the guidelines as listed in MA case law .
Be prepared to show that there is a realadvantage/good & sincere reason for relocation , that it is in the best interest of the child(ren) , that it will improve the child's quality of life , that alternate arrangements are possible to ensure the parent child bond with the nonrelocating parent and that the child's physical , emotional and developemental needs will not be harmed due to the move .
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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emelbee3
recently joined
Reged: 08/22/07
Posts: 10
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The reason for the move is that I want to remarry and he lives in AZ. His children are there, his career and his family. The cost of living is much cheaper and I would be able to provide a more financial stable life for my children. I was a stay at home mother for 12 years and have always been their primary caretaker. Not having them with me daily would emotionally damage them. They see a counselor who 100% supports my decision. He has dealt with my ex & some issues our kids have with him and he has said my ex is toxic to the kids, emotionally abusive & a narcissist. He went 5 months last year without seeing our oldest son because he was angry at him...5 months! Our 2 youngest boys are playing youth football this season, so instead of taking them to their games during his weekends, he opts not to see them at all. They would probably have a better relationship with him from 3000 miles away because they would expect less.
I emailed my ex about setting up a time to discuss me moving and after 3 ignored messages, he replied he had spoken to his attorney and it was never going to happen. He doesn't know where or why I want to move, but instead of hearing me out, just said to bring him to court. He's not very reasonable.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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I would never allow my kids to move 4K miles from me either, and that does not make me unreasonable.
Your ex is obviously not going to agree, so your only option is to hire an attorney and take this to court.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20191
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"I would never allow my kids to move 4K miles from me either, and that does not make me unreasonable."
No kidding.
I'm curious as to why he doesn't know where she plans on moving, you'd think that would be important info to include in the request.
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emelbee3
recently joined
Reged: 08/22/07
Posts: 10
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The reason he doesn't know where I want to move or why is because he won't discuss it with me. I asked to get together and tell him everything and he refused. I spoke with my attorney this morning and we will request a Guardian Ad Litem.
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DeeCan
veteran
Reged: 04/05/08
Posts: 1266
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I'm not looking to be argumentative but you say:
"Not having them with me daily would emotionally damage them."
But you're going to send them off for 9-10 weeks straight? I mean, I know that whole bit of not having you with them daily is bull but you can't make that argument then say you'll be away from them for a minimum of 63 days. It doesn't make sense.
And then you say that you and a counselor both agree that he's "toxic" to the children, but again you're going to send them off with him for extended period of time in HOPES it creates a better bond?
I'm going to call it what I see it: you met someone, you want to get away from the ex so AZ is a good choice; considering that your fiance is already set up there. You're hoping that the ex won't take his extended visits and just fade off into the sunset and you, your new husband and the kids will all live happily ever after.
I know you won't admit it, but that's sure how it comes across.
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Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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Moving is such a touchy subject.
I can tell you, it's difficult in any state. However, each state as other posters posted... is different.
I'm in SC. I was a NCM for 11 years. My ex who is a fed agent got a job out of state. He moved with our daughter. Needless to say.... I now have full custody of our daughter.....
my opionin (and it's only mine)... is that you want to move.. GO FOR IT! But don't take a child away from a parent... it's selfish... Btw.. how did you meet your fiance in AZ?
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Concerned_Dad
recently joined
Reged: 04/10/11
Posts: 5
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Hello,
Recently my ex tried to move my kids from AZ to MA. she stated exactly the same reasons you do (cheaper costs of living, more jobs, better standard of life etc). I have always been a major part of the life of my two boys and now have joint custody with 50/50 parenting, so it is slightly different. The judge didn't allow the move. Arizona is a major joint custody state so I didn't even bother with a lawyer and represented myself. I won on all counts (if you can call it winning). I think the bottom line is that unless there is abuse it's every parents duty to attempt to have both as much of the kids life as possible. I was on the other side of this so I'm biased but still it's all to easy to consider whats convenient for ourselves and not try our best for the sake of our kids.
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