concernedfather2
newbie
Reged: 08/13/11
Posts: 33
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thats not fair everyone makes mistakes. im a wonderful father i just had some things in my life that would come up and i couldnt afford to go see her. But i called and emailed my ex to ask for pictures and to videos.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30197
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"thats not fair"
You say that an AWFUL lot...welcome to life.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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"im a wonderful father i just had some things in my life that would come up and i couldnt afford to go see her. But i called and emailed my ex to ask for pictures and to videos."
Ok, i can accept that because my daughter has a father who isn't around very much. He lives in another state and he now drives truck. I know he loves her, and he does support her faithfully, he tries to keep in contact but at 3 she's not a huge phone person. I've done everything to try to facilitate a relationship including arranging my vacation to take her to visit his parents on a schedule he said would work for him. (but he never showed). He's seen her 4 times in her life and she will be 4yo in 6 weeks. He loves her, he's not a bad guy, as a matter of fact he's a pretty decent guy.
BUT........if he all of a sudden decided to move here after 4 years and then tried to block ME from moving away with the family I've built (for what I'm guessing is a better life because they aren't going to get assistance for at least 6 months in another state) you can bet your @ss I wouldn't take it lying down. I will move heaven and earth for my kids, (all of them) and I will do almost anything to be sure my daughter knows her daddy loves her and make sure they have a relationship but I wouldn't let someone who doesn't know that he doesn't get to choose WHEN he becomes a dad (ie several years AFTER the child is born) run my life.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30197
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What really makes me mad is that this is the guy that makes OTHER guys look bad.
And FTR, will someone on this thread remember next time I am told I only bash WOMEN...just sayin', LOL!
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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I will remember.
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concernedfather2
newbie
Reged: 08/13/11
Posts: 33
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i am not making anyone look bad. I am just simply trying to fight for my daughter. I dont think its fair that just because i wasnt there in the beginning i should be punished now, and the fact that she's on assistance is a reason to ok a move. The judge should make them both get another part-time job if they cant find a full-time job. She can make it. She made it before when it was just her and our daughter here. She was working, going to school, and taking care of our daughter. But now that she's married and has another baby she feels its harder. Why is that? I dont understand she made it work before I really dont think she's trying hard enough and the judge should see that and order them to stay because they havent tried hard enough to find valuable employment.
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kkimberh
enthusiast
Reged: 03/24/10
Posts: 391
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I'm not seeing this move not happening. Your best bet is going to be to try to get the best parenting schedule that you can.
The thing is, leagally, the courts can't keep mom from moving, they can only keep the child from moving. That would mean giving custody to you. And since you haven't been in her life consistently, and this is apparently a recent thing, etc., that's just not going to happen.
So - forget the moving part, try to get a good long-distance parenting schedule...
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I love therapy. It's like a talk show, where I'm the guest and the only topic is me.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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I never said you only bash women. When I disagree with you it has nothing to do with sticking up for a "gender". It's because I don't agree with you on that particular thread. I for the most part agree with your advice and we have a lot of the same opinions. I don't have the same approach as you but that doesn't mean I don't sometimes cheer on your "in your face" approach. One I'm not very good at.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30197
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I know, not everyone does it, but there are a select few on here, who, when they disagree with me, start out with, "Well, if this was a MAN, you wouldn't...{insert whatever advice I gave".
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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cincsu
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4686
Loc: residence in AZ, case in CA
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my take on this being in a move away situation is that you accept the schedule considering you are just starting to develop the relationship. the child is 5 and before long would be able to travel unaccompanied (after becoming accustomed to flying). and rather than visiting the child in her area 1 weekend per month if you could change that wording to exchanges in her area 1 weekend per month - this would give you some latitude to go other places with her if you wanted. i'm not sure where you are living or if you friends or family close to where the mom wants to move.
this is a negotiation so you can expect that your ex came in low....propose something back that would be acceptable to you or higher than what you want and settle for something in the middle.
she will go in low, you will go in high and then you each make concessions.
i say this based on your history with the child and it also seems like you already have it in your head that you can't hire an attorney.
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wife of 1, mother of 2, stepmother of .3475902453
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