SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Okay, my kid's Dad hasn't been involved in their lives. He may see them every other month, but has gone as long as 9 months without seeing them.
He used to live a couple of miles away, but this past summer he moved 90 miles away. Now, he lives approximately 65 miles away. He doesn't notify me when he moves - didn't give me addresses until I asked him.
I am thinking of moving to a large city that is a 5 hour drive from where we currently live, so that we have a better support system.
Any thoughts or recommendations?
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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I would do what YOU think is the RIGHT thing to do, not what has been done TO you. :)
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Go for it SRS!!! Moving doesnt magically fix everything (and I'm not remotely thinking u think that) but having done it? It was THE best thing for me and more importantly my daughter.
Our quality of life, and I mean just stress reduction and happiness, is immeasurably better.
In my case, we maintain basically every other weekend visits. DD is incredibly well adjusted and happy with that. For us, the trips are fun and non-stressful for the most part.
The "reason" why I moved didn't work out but, in my heart I did the right thing and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I truly believe (and I don't dislike u btw), that you and your kids would be happier and healthier emotionally if u did it. You have my full support!!!
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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Why not?
If he doesn't like it, he can try to contest it and a judge can decide. If you think it's best for the family, I would do it.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Is it a move away, if the OP moves first?
Has hasn't seen them since Christmas, btw. He took them for 3 days less than the actual CO'd time. Last night was the first time he has called them since Christmas. I think that kind of stuff would help in a court case, wouldn't it?
Edited by SRS (01/25/12 11:08 AM)
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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You've been here long enough, you know the drill.
1) What does the order state on moving (or is it silent)
2)Doesn't matter what he does, but you as custodial, it is....
so with that said... if you are required to give him notice, you HAVE to give him notice. If you don't have to give him notice, you can move- but I would suggest having something in place to offer him in regards to visitation and most likely you are going to be responsible for half to all of the cost involved (since we know he won't be supportive). When ex moved, I was responsible for transportation for the offical holidays such as xmas, thanksgiving, easter and summer vacations. He was responsible for his weekend visits and/or long weekend visits such as Labor day, MLK, etc.
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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we know it doesn't matter what he does, he is the NCD... as the CP you are held to "higher" standards.. reason you are the CP. Stop focussing on what he has or has not done.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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What State is it in? Each State has their own Statutes and/or procedural rules regarding Move-aways. If the procedures are not followed, it can result in the responding party seeking ex parte relief and even a change in custody. As a result, knowing the rules and the statutory burdens that apply is critical.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Yes, I would say that kind of thing would help you in a court case BUT, as I can attest to, the fact these guys DON'T take their "ordered" time, doesn't mean they won't take you to court to stop a move if YOU are seen as "taking away" their time. So be prepared for that. Document, document, document. I had calendars for all three years prior to the move. I had call logs, including printouts of my cell phone records for an entire year. Everything. You name it, I had it. School system comparisons, rent comparisons, utility comparisons. Auto insurance comparisons, childcare. Crime rates.
As CP you may be held to a higher standard; however, that does NOT mean you are held PRISONER.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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It is frustrating at times - that higher standard. Especially since he's quit paying CS reguarly and never takes his COd time.
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