LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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The statement was "will have weight" which is a true statement in this state.
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
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How much weight?
What state is the OP from?
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Don't know the OP's state, nor does anyone else. So to say that the child's wishes have NO bearing/weight is improper in this case because you DON'T KNOW.
Sorry it's a pet peeve of mine on this site. I'm naming it the "ruffled feathers response". You don't approve of the idea of a child having a say, IN GENERAL, so this is the response that comes out.. "child's opinion NEVER has any weight" or however it was phrased. That's an UNTRUE statement. You admit you know of one state where it IS true, and I know of one and I'm sure there are more.
What is "weight"? It'll depend on situation I'm sure. But, in general, it means that it has SOME, ANY impact on an overall resolution. I don't think it's remotely farfetched to think that quite a few states would consider what the child wanted. I haven't had the time nor desire to research exactly how many though. Apparently, neither do you.
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1410
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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Washington state will listen to the child through the GAL - my ss at 10 years old made it VERY clear where he wanted to be and he had good reasoning as to why etc...my ss was listened to and his wanting to live with my husband/us was given a lot of weight and we lived in Alaska at the time but the court of jurisdiction was Washington state which is a pro-female state.
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
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I never said that a judge wouldn't listen to the wishes of a child...one did in my state in our situation. Now...whether the wishes are given any weight in the matter? Is another thing entirely. I don't know of any "age" in any state (except one) where it's a given. And if I'm wrong, I'd be interested in seeing the state's guidelines where it says it.
Edited by M5M5 (02/19/12 05:18 PM)
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1410
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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I do not know if there are state guidelines I think it is a case by case basis and in our case it came from the GAL who gave a lot of weight to what ss wanted and what my sd wanted - so much so that my sd stayed with bm another year until it was no longer better for her to not be taken from her mom and given to my husband. Sd and bm had an unhealthy relationship but at the time it was determined to be more detrimental to take her from her mom and sd wanted to stay with her so the GAL recommended it and then a year later it was determined that the child's want to remain with bm was not in the best interest of the child (there were awful things going on in bm's home) and gave my husband custody.
I think a lot depends on the individual case and the maturity and reasoning behind the child wanting to be with one parent over the other.
My sd went back to her mom at one point which we did not fight at the time because we thought she had quit her sh!t and my sd wanted to be with her mom. At 15 my sd returned to our home and when bm tried to push the you have to live with me - sd told the GAL she wanted to be with hubby and me and that is where she stayed until she was 18.
Our case was continuous and contentious with the courts because bm was never satisfied and made a lot of peoples lives a living hell and any little thing she wanted brought back to court we had to fight etc... I am so glad that part has been over for several years now...I survived but I also learned to be jaded, un-trusting, etc...
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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[quote][quote]Um...that's wrong. Where are you getting that as soon as they are 14, they can decide? [/quote]
That IS true, depending on the state. The poster didn't say it was the do-all, end-all, but it DOES have weight.. Again, as the poster said DEPENDING ON THE STATE. I've seen this poster get criticized in another thread for making the statement as being false and it's NOT.
In NY? NO.. the child's opinion NEVER matters.
In RI? YES.. the child's opinion, I believe it's at age TWELVE, DOES CARRY WEIGHT. I believe they can actually "decide" where they want to live, if I'm not mistaken. Another poster here can confirm that as they have personal experience.
I'm quite sure RI is NOT the only state that is like this. [/quote]
Thank you for the close reading of these posts. GA of course is the state where a 14 can elect the custodial parent, and the election is a presumption. The judge has final say based on the best interests of the child. In all states the child can be heard, and the judge has wide discretion in what weight to give a minors testimony. The subject has come up before and for some reason it upsets some folks, making it difficult to pass on useful information. In general, it's rare for children to testify, even in GA.
This is all a tangent in any event, the OP was concerned that her Ex would get custody based on having better schools. The response that matters is that it is highly unlikely.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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You're welcome.. I'm kinda anal retentive about people spinning others' statements for soapbox purposes lol.
I would challenge you on "all" hearing the child. From what ive been told in NY (which is where my case is, where I had a move-away case, and where my daughter had a gal), the child cannot be asked the question. Or isn't supposed to be might be better. I specifically asked this question of several attorneys regarding moves and was told child's opinion under 18, makes no difference and that gals aren't supposed to ever pose the question. A judge wouldn't ask it either (and my daughter, at 4, had to appear before the judge).
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Good to know NY has a definite policy or rule regarding testimony of minors in custody matters. That's useful information.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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That's what I was told... and I know our GAL didn't ask dd such questions (I could hear most of the interview). And the judge didn't ask anything either. Basically she just met dd, asked her some basic questions, made a point of commending both my ex and I for raising (at 4) such a poised, seemingly well-adjusted post-divorce little girl. And she is incredibly well-adjusted, and we have a long distance situation, going into our 3rd year, or nearly half our time of divorce.
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