HeatherNicolems
recently joined
Reged: 06/07/07
Posts: 17
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I posted on the other board but they thought I was lying ..makes me sick .I have a long story ,but if anyone has the time please read through it .I need to know what to do .I dont know if what he has done could be called "abuse" or what I could do in court .Here is my story:
I have known Drew for most of my life .We went to church together as kids and grew up in the same community .We started dating when I was 15 . The day after our first date ,he came to my house to bring me flowers .I was not home ,I had gone with friends on a ski trip that I had been planning for weeks .He called me crying ,because I had gone somewhere without him .After that ,he started staying at my house almost all day ,and into the night .He was completley somthering me .I told him that I needed a break ,he cried .It made me feel so guilty ,so I just let it go at that .I did not want to hurt his feelings .
soon there after ,I lost most of my friends because he did not want me to go anywhere with them ,and alot of my friends were male ,which he did not like at all .He was very mean to them and would make them leave when they came over .All the while ,telling me how much he loved me (he started telling me that after only 3 days of knowing me ) I told him he did not know me ,and he couldnt possibly love me .I thought it was crazy ,but for some reason ( I guess the guilt ) I felt trapped .
I was in high school ,I believe it was 11th grade ,when one of my ex boyfriends transferred to my school .Drew left me at school that day (he was my only ride home ) He told me that I needed to change schools if my ex was going to be at school with me .a few days after that ,he told me that he had sat across the road from my ex's house with a gun pointed at him when he was sitting outside .I thought he was kidding .
Not long after that we got engaged .I ended up pregnant at 17 .after the baby was born we moved into a house together .I was not sure at this point that I wanted to marry him ,but things went ok for awhile ,and I felt it was the right thing to do because we had a child together .about a week after we were married ,he was "playing " and punched me so hard in the leg that I could hardly walk for days .He would throw things and break things ,I remamber being on my hands and knees picking up broken glass .
When Jakab was 8 months old ,we got into a bad argument and he was becoming violent ,so I tried to leave .He hid my keys from me .when I found them ( in the freezer ) I made my way out to my car (holding my son ) Drew ran out and punched the windshield and broke it so I couldnt see to drive .I started to walk away and he grabbed me and left a large bruise on my arm .
About a year went by ,and things were ok .Then He started drinking alot ,and he would rage and punch and kick holes in the walls .I couldnt work because he said "you might meet someone " .He always told me that he would kill himself if I ever left him .When we would argue ,he would always threaten violence towards himself .He would come into the room where I was holding a loaded gun and saying "How would you like to see my brains splattered on the wall ? " I could not leave the house without being interrogated "who looked at you ,Talked to you ""did anyone flirt with you "
When I was about 6 months pregnant with our second child ,he was unemployed (as usual ) and he wanted me to call the mortgage company to tell them I would be late on the payment .I was sitting on the couch reading ,and I told him he made the mess and he could call and explain it to them .He grabbed me by the leg and pulled me off the couch then picked me up and threw me on the floor .
The drinking continued ,and became worse over time .Soon he was drinking everyday ,when he was working ,he would go to work drunk at times .we moved to Magnolia in 2004.He would get mad and break my computer ,and things that were sentimental to me .Once he actually lifted a large chair over his head and tried to throw it threw the window .
He found out that I was talking to someone that he didnt want me talking to ,started raging ,poured hot coffee in my lap threw me across the room ,when I hit the wall ,he grabbed me again and threw me into the kitchen .He left the room at that point and came back with a loaded .38 special .He was pointing it at me .I dont know what stopped him from pulling the trigger .He left then ,but returned that night ,I had fallen asleep on the floor in front of the TV in the living room .I awoke to see him staning over me ,he picked up his foot and held it over my face saying that he was going to "stomp my head " It was 2 in the morning ,I grabbed my kids and tried to get out of the house ,he climbed on top of my SUV so I count leave ,I ran back in the house ,and locked him out .I knew I still nedded to leave ,so I waited awhile ,then opened to front door to see if he had gone ,he ran theough the door as soon as I opened it ,and held a gun to my head ,as soon as he let me go ,I ran outside ,he grabbed me and slammed my head into the brick wall .My daughter comes outside crying ,saying daddy is mean etc .he shows her the gun ,he says "its not loaded ,I promise ...Look I will show you " He pulled the trigger and the gun went off ,it was indeed loaded .
The next incident that I remember was in October 2004 .we had gone out with friends ,and he had gotten mad at a man for flirting with me .he wanted to leave ,so when I got in the car he was driving very fast ,and recklessly at speeds of about 90-95 MPH .I didnt say much other than "whats wrong ?" he did not respond .He drove to a very remote area ,and turned down a gravel road ,I tried to get out of the car when he slowed down ,but he would grab ny hair and pull me back in .I finally made it out of the car and started running through the woods ,he was right behind me ,and pushed me down on the ground and drug me down the road by my arms .I was lying in the road and he built a fire right next to me ,I was terrified ,I couldnt move .he got into the car and acted like he was going to run over me .Then he came back to me (still lying on the ground ) and pulled me up by my shirt and hit me so hard in the face that I had petichi all the way down to my shoulder,I could not open my mouth for days ,my whole face was black and blue .I had my cell phone in my pocket and I just pushed the redial button when he wasnt looking ,I didnt even care who was on the other end ,I just knew I needed help .It was my friend Dehna ,I started screaming he is going to kill me .She came and found where I was ,and he took off in the car .she took me to his parents house to get my car so I could leave .when we pulled in the drive at his parents he tore in the other end of the driveway .I jusmped out of the car ran inside his parents house and locked myself in the bathroom .He came after me ,throwing me around the bathroom ,his dad tried to stop him and he pulled a knife on him .the police came ,it was one deputy and he told Drew "it is never good to hit a woman ,if you are going to do that then you need to come on the jail with me " Drew replied " I am going to go cut her up into little pieces ,and put her in the bathtub ,then you can come back and arrest me later " they BOTH were laughing about what he had said .But I was standing behind Drew and I saw that he had a large knife in his back pocket .
After that he would get really drunk and mad ,we were in the car and I was driving ,and he didnt want to throw out his beer ,so he got mad and started raging again ,not making much sense and jumped out of my car ( I was driving about 55 MPH ) I can still hear my kids screaming from the backseat .But he went on to do that two other times .Once he actually busted the back of his head from hitting the pavement ,and another time he climbed out the window whiole I was driving and somehow climbed onto the windshield and fell threw ,causing me to wreck .
After we seperated ,he tried to use the kids against me,he would not bring them home on time ,and when I came to pick then up at his house he would not let me get them ,he would start a fight and threaten me by saying that he was going to get custody and that he would put drugs in my house and say that I had hit the kids and that I was crazy.It like he devoted all his time to harassing me ,calling and stalking me ,climbing in the window at night after he had cut the phone line ,hiding under my house ,threatening to set my house on fire ,or my car on fire .And saying that if he ever saw me with another man that he would kill both of us .
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HeatherNicolems
recently joined
Reged: 06/07/07
Posts: 17
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Here is more that I wrote a few months ago ...
yesterday ,I was telling him that he needed to get a job (he hasnt worked since december ) I could sense the tension building ,so I backed off .The next thing I knew , he had gone into a fit of rage , tore the oven door off ,then the top where the burners are ,threw all my dishes on the floor ...I grabbed my keys and tried to get out the door ( the kids were out in the backyard ) He blocked the doorway ,would not let me out so I grabbed the phone ,and tried to call the cops ,but he had already took the battery out of the phone .So I locked myself in the bathroom ,I didnt know what else to do .I didnt hear him yelling anymore ,so I came out ,and he was outside taking the spark plugs out of my car ,so I could not leave .So I have no phone ,and no car .
I went to the front porch ,and was sitting there ,not knowing what else to do ,he came out and stood in front of me ,pulled out his knife ,and said over and over "What the F*ck can you do to me ? " I ran around the back of the house and got in my car and locked the door ,he came up to the window ,cursing and clenching his teeth ,and slammed his face into my window so hard that his nose started to bleed (he threatened to tell the cops I hit him ,and also told his friends that I had hit him )
So...after a few panic attacks ,which I am prone to when he has his "tantrums" I finally was able to calm down and catch my breath ....and he calmly told me that he had been in my house numerous times before ,had hid underneath the house ,listening to me many times .that he had been watching me for months ,And that if I ever take his kids away he would track me down and come after me .
I told him that if he didnt stop that the courts would take the kids from him ,and possibly only give him supervised visits ...he said "picture this ,if you let them do that to me ,And I get to see the kids for 5 minutes ,there will be an officer locked in the closet and they will never come back home ."I told him that he could not come over anymore ,that it had gotten too bad ,and he said "you havent seen bad yet"
So I called the Justice court to see what they said to do ,they said ,after what he did yesterday,if I come in the judge will give me a permenant restraining order (really pissing him off ) ,and I could file charges on him for what he did yesterday ,for domestic violence ,and he would go to jail (for ONE night ,and be even more pissed .)I tried to explain to her that a little piece of paper saying that he could not come around ,would be like waving a red flag in front of a bull .And the only reason I havent called the cops yet ,is because I know for a fact that he would shoot every one of them .
I called my DV advocate ,she says .."Run Now ,dont walk " ....I do not want to leave my house ,take my kids out of school ???? I mean I cant do that to them .and I really do not want to go to a shelter .I have a home !!!!!! I guess I will leave if I have to ,and have him arrested .I am just so lost I dont know which way to turn .
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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You forgot to mention the part that you brought up the whole thing because you want to take the kids and move 1000 miles away to live with your boyfriend.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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Like whomever on the "other" board, I'm sitting here scratching my head trying to figure out how shortly after a guy says he pointed a gun at your ex, a guy who has smothered you, a guy who is basically stalking you and trying to run your life when you're NOT married, you end up STILL marrying him. Aside from that, if its a true story, you do what you have to do to protect your kids. Its June, they shouldn't even BE in school. Another reason why you were likely accused of lying. So...which is it?
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Char Fox
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HeatherNicolems
recently joined
Reged: 06/07/07
Posts: 17
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thank you for adding that ...even though I have no boyfriend ,and you have no right to say that about me .
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HeatherNicolems
recently joined
Reged: 06/07/07
Posts: 17
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I wrote that back in March and just copied and pasted it to post here ... My kids are NOW out of school ...at first (before he was ever violent he said that he loved me so much he didnt want anyone to take me away blah blah blah ...I bought it ,I thought it meant tha the loved me .I was only 17 when we got married and I thought it was love .I made a mistake .
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HeatherNicolems
recently joined
Reged: 06/07/07
Posts: 17
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besides we had a child before we got married ,ny son was 6 months old when we got married and Ithought it was the right thing to do .. Iwas STUPID and I have paid for it dearly
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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This is easy.
1. Turn off your computer.
2. Get your kids, purse,wallet and dog.
3. Get in car
4. Drive 1000 miles away
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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HeatherNicolems
recently joined
Reged: 06/07/07
Posts: 17
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dont I need to get court protection before that ? Can I do that with No bruises ? I have witnesses ,but no Physical evidence other than the holes in my walls etc ...He is so manipulative ..he will try to hurt me any way he can .
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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ok..I will assume this all happened. Yes, you need an OP. If you have witnesses, you should be ok..but then they probably would not let you leave the state with the kids though..someone mentioned a shelter..you might have to go that route. You need more proof than a hole in the wall. Seriously. You could of easy done that yourself. If this guy is as crazy as you say and said the stuff he did, I would expect more proof than that.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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