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javajunkiee
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Reged: 06/01/08
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Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage [Re: Lifeline]
      #778255 - 02/22/12 01:36 PM

You are Not entitled to half his income. Where the heck are you getting that from?!

Here's where I think your biggest issue is: You are pissed off and have your family chirping in your ear about how he's wronged you, and you're coming up with all of these ideas about what you're "entitled" to.

Newsflash: The judge who decides the custody, child support and divorce settlement will not be basing his decisions on MORAL guidelinrs but on LEGAL ones. You & your families anger is not only irrelevant, but it could cause more harm than good.

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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.


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Maury
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Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage [Re: Lifeline]
      #778256 - 02/22/12 02:13 PM

Yes, withholding the child could be used in court as a willful interference with his parenting relationship. Keep in mind that with no Court order your spouse has ever right to care for his child and he does not require your permission.

You indicate that he holds money over your head for leverage. That is precisely what you are doing with your child. Which is worse?

With regard to the assets and debts. All are deemed marital and capable of division. However, if he has the greater ability to pay the debts, he may be required to pay more than half. It is also possible that he is awarded a greater share of the assets to compensate for that contribution.

What employment did you have before marriage? Have you looked for such a job again now? Keep in mind that at some point in the near future you will be required to do so. The sooner you get started, the better off you will be financially. That may mean relying on family and/or friends to assist with child care. Have you checked to see if you state has any type of daycare assistance? It appears that you may qualify for the Temporary Cash Assistance program in Florida. You should look into that. You may also qualify for childcare assistance. "If your children are not yet in school, the only way you can realistically find employment is if you have someone to care for your kids. The Florida Department of Health and Human Services offers help for those who need financial assistance for childcare while they work through the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program (TANF: .dcf.state.fl.us/ess/)."

There is information available at
w w w.singlemomfinancialhelp.com/state-assistance-programs-for-single-mothers/florida/


I am sure that many people reading your posts will have difficulty sympathizing with you. Just look at the responses you have received. You were married for ALL of ONE year and yet come off as if you are entitled to something. You are not. It was ONE year. I would suggest trying to alter that type of perception in court or the response you will get is likely to be sympathy for your spouse for enduring that ONE inexorable year.


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ssmom79
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Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage [Re: Lifeline]
      #778263 - 02/22/12 03:35 PM

Do you believe that if he refuses to fix my car, get me a phone, or pay for my new glasses or contacts, that the judge will see him lacking on his duties as a father and husband. If he truely cared about the well being of his daughter, he would make sure I have everything I need to raise her. Correct?
_________________________________

No that isn't correct at all. Fixing your car, fixing your glasses, getting you a phone, seriously, LISTEN TO ME HERE, seriously if you go asking for that you will be laughed right out of court. He is responsible for helping take care of your daughter. PERIOD.

YOu are NOT entitled to half his income. You split your ASSETS...things you own, a house, a car, furniture. NOT INCOME. You also split liabilities, like back rent and charges for painting a house, things like a car payment or any credit cards. So you get half the good and half the bad. Not having a job is an excuse and it won't cut it.

You have to be a troll. I mean you can't actually think what you are saying is correct. Because you are so far off base, you're in a football field.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage [Re: Lifeline]
      #778274 - 02/22/12 05:42 PM

"And I told him that there is no way in he11 he can be alone with his daughter, I do not trust that he doesnt take her and keep her, and not bring her back."

I understand that fear, he might take the child and refuse to allow you overnights or unsupervised parenting time...LIKE YOU ARE DOING TO HIM!!!

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Lifeline
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Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage [Re: gr8Dad]
      #778279 - 02/22/12 07:30 PM

I am sorry if I have offended any of you. And no, I am not a troll. I do not even know what exactly means to be honest. I just came here for advice nothing more.

If my husband works three weeks on and two off, what percent of possibility do you think he has of having my daughter those 2 weeks? I know you are all going to say "well, you havbe him for 3." What will the judge be looking for to make that determination to or not to allow that.

So basically you are all saying I have close to zero percent chance of any type of alimony. He will pay child support, and we will split daycare.

So, if he cancelled me off his health insurance and car insurance tomorrow, there would be nothing I could do or that the judge would deem as wrong?

So asking for even $200.00 alimony you think is unlikely?

My husband is super pissed off because he says not only am I keeping my daughter from him, but also from his 8 year old son. His son though does not pertain to any legal matter here for this, and while maybe I see why he is pissed, it really does not have anything to do with him and I doubt a judge would weigh heavily on that.

You all make it sound like if I did get an attorney he would not try and fight for what I think is right. You really believe an attorney would say I am delusional like some of you think I am?


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gr8Dad
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Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage [Re: Lifeline]
      #778282 - 02/22/12 07:58 PM

"And no, I am not a troll. I do not even know what exactly means to be honest."

A troll is someone who comes onto a message board and tells n outlandish story in order to get a reaction.

"If my husband works three weeks on and two off, what percent of possibility do you think he has of having my daughter those 2 weeks? I know you are all going to say "well, you havbe him for 3." What will the judge be looking for to make that determination to or not to allow that."

That would be EXACTLY what I would say. You are going to HAVE to share custody of the kids, as you DO NOT have any valid reason NOT to share custody.

"So basically you are all saying I have close to zero percent chance of any type of alimony. He will pay child support, and we will split daycare."

Yep.

"So, if he cancelled me off his health insurance and car insurance tomorrow, there would be nothing I could do or that the judge would deem as wrong?"

He usually can't remove you until the divorce is final, but YES, he, by the regulations of MOST insurance companies, CANNOT keep you on the insurance once you are divorced.

"My husband is super pissed off because he says not only am I keeping my daughter from him, but also from his 8 year old son. His son though does not pertain to any legal matter here for this, and while maybe I see why he is pissed, it really does not have anything to do with him and I doubt a judge would weigh heavily on that."

Perhaps not the SON< but your refusal to allow ANY unsupervised time WILL look bad for you. He has all the grounds he needs to fight for SOLE custody, and you are showing to not be cooperative co-parent.

"You all make it sound like if I did get an attorney he would not try and fight for what I think is right. You really believe an attorney would say I am delusional like some of you think I am?"

I do not think a lawyer would risk their REPUTATION with the court to go in and make the requests you are making. Keep in mind, the lawyer has OTHER clients, and they will be in front of the same judge AGAIN and they do not want to look like the kind of lawyer who represents nut cases.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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ssmom79
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Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage [Re: Lifeline]
      #778285 - 02/22/12 08:41 PM

No alimony. Yes support and daycare.

No not even $200 alimony.

I believe your husband has to cover you on his health insurance until the divorce. I am unsure about auto insurance.

Yes an attorney will tell you you are reaching far beyond what you would be entitled to after one year of marriage. I'm sure he would do the best he could but the fact remains that you've been married only one year. The first thing FL takes into consideration is the length of marriage. You just don't have that.


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javajunkiee
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Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage [Re: ssmom79]
      #778287 - 02/22/12 09:05 PM

Then the next thing will be are you healthy enough to work. Yes? Then why aren't you? You have a daughter to help support.

Think about it from the judges perspective: Perfectly healthy woman isn't willing to be responsible for supporting HERSELF, how can she be trusted to *help* support someone else? She won't work, is refusing to pay the bills she's running up, and won't let the father see his daughter.

If the words "uncooperative, unreasonable, and self-absorbed" don't make it into the judges notes, you'll be lucky. You'll also be lucky if YOU don't end up with supervised visitation.

--------------------
Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.


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Lifeline
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Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage [Re: javajunkiee]
      #778301 - 02/23/12 08:54 AM

I have thought about things and the one thing that kind of scares me the most is that when I left on Dec 16th, 2011, I let him have our daughter for 3 days (2 overnights) on New years. After that date, we got into an arguement about him telling me to stop travelling around Florida and get a job and refusing to pay things for me if I do not. I told him I cannot wait to see just how much he is he going to have to pay me by the judge and also that our daughter's last name will be changed to mine. He was irrate and called me a demeaning name. Since then, that is when I have refused to allow him to have her overnight and at his house with only supervised visits from me. Should I be worried? The main reason I keep telling him why he cannot have her outside of my stipulations is because he does not have the bond she and I have, that he is essentially a stranger to her and not familiar with her. I guess I should have not allowed her to go over there on New Years for those 3 days.

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Maury
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Re: Spousal Support- Florida - 1 Year of Marriage [Re: Lifeline]
      #778313 - 02/23/12 10:50 AM

He had your daughter alone for overnights two months ago and all was fine. Now a couple months later when you are in conflict, suddenly he is inappropriate. YES - I would say that is a BIG problem for you.

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