javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3155
Loc: SC
|
|
[quote]"I'm anti alimony for either gender when the recipient is capable of working and supporting themselves."
What do you think should be done if one or the other gender can't secure employment? [/quote]
They secure any employment they can find, they improve their skills, and move on.
|
|
|
\ /
--------------------
Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
|
english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
|
|
But you didn't answer my question.
|
finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
|
|
Yes she did.
She said "get any job you can, move on, marriage doesn't come with a money back guarantee."
People who aren't married or in the process of divorce lose their jobs all the time. They get a new job, get any ol' job flipping burgers, live out of their cars, move back in with mom and dad, leach off friends.....do whatever they have to do to survive.
|
english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
|
|
Neither of you answered my question.
|
finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
|
|
[quote]Neither of you answered my question. [/quote]
******************************************
Are you being deliberately obtuse ?
JJ says "Nothing" The person going through a divorce who is not currently employed should find their own way through life, the same as if they were single and not currently employed.
I think the answer depends on how long the marrige was and what the staus quo was during the marriage, but I don't expect everyone to agree with me.
|
javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3155
Loc: SC
|
|
English, you and I are on different sides of this subject, as you well know, and I have less than nil interest in engaging you in debate.
I never took a dime from my exhusband. You received a settlement.
I will not explain or defend my position on alimony or settlements, and you simply don't have to.
Have a great day~
--------------------
Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
Edited by javajunkiee (07/02/12 01:22 PM)
|
gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
|
|
There is no such thing as "Can't find employment". Kids in HIGH SCHOOL find employment, you get a JOB and you support yourself. If you CAN'T, then you DIE, its the nature of the environment.
--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
|
english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
|
|
Gr8, with over 12 million unemployed in the US, (and those are just people actively seeking work) do you really think your claim is correct?
JJ, my question was not personal. I don't know or care what you did or did not do regarding spousal support. Further, you do not know my situation! Maybe I had to pay my ex.
Finz, funny, but I was going to ask the same question! You said that people going through a divorce "not currently employed should find their own way through life." I agree, and I like the way you worded it. "Finding" can take time, though.
But none of you are looking at this realistically. For some newly divorced people, it is not so cut and dry. Think of the different situations a person could find himself or herself in: desertion, assault, having to flee--and these things are happening at a time when job prospects are very slim.
What I'm seeing is an inability or refusal to imagine anything outside one's own experience. Not sure why I expected anything different.
|
finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
|
|
[quote] But none of you are looking at this realistically. For some newly divorced people, it is not so cut and dry. Think of the different situations a person could find himself or herself in: desertion, assault, having to flee--and these things are happening at a time when job prospects are very slim.
[/quote]
***************************************
When I realistically consider such a situation, out of all the people that I know that I might be able to rely on financially to help me out of a bind, the LAST person I would count on would be someone who had deserted me, assaulted me, or had me fleeing for my life.
I think our definitions of what is 'realistic' are pretty far apart.
If someone has already deserted you, you cannot count on them to send a monthly check. If someone has assaulted you or has you fleeing for your life, they should be in jail, so I wouldn't count on their income from hammering out license plates to support me.
I'll take my 'realistic plan' over yours any day......
|
javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3155
Loc: SC
|
|
"JJ, my question was not personal. I don't know or care what you did or did not do regarding spousal support. Further, you do not know my situation! Maybe I had to pay my ex."
Apologies for mixing you up with another poster. However, if I do remember correctly you were going after a settlement, and had some heated words with posters over it. Whatever, I wasn't trying to insinuate you were making it personal or that you did care what I received/didn't receive from my ex.
I took your question to be a bait tactic and responded. Yes, I'm a tad jaded. You think?
As someone who was assaulted and had to flee for her life at a young age with limited skills in a lousy economy, I know first hand how difficult it can be. It is *not* impossible however. I found jobs suitable enough to keep a roof over my head - 3 of them at once as a matter of fact. It took relocating 50 miles, finding a landlord willing to take a chance (in Detroit of all places), and walking to work for one job and riding a bike for the other two.
There is ALWAYS work. It may not be up to someone's standards, but you do it anyways.
Unless of course, a person prefers to take money from someone that already has proven dangerous because they find that "easier" than flipping burgers and working at a gas station.
Look, I don't mean to preach, and I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone. It was hard as hell and I hated every minute of it but I got through it, and there's not much that scares me anymore. Crazy men or working hard? Eh, BTDT.
However, when I read posts from people who come on here and expect that they should be able to maintain their standard of living while divorcing the reason they HAD that standard of living, it just irks me.
I believe very strongly in Personal Responsibility. If you are healthy and capable of working, you should be doing it and not forcing someone else to take responsibility for you. I don't care if he left for the latest plastic princess just out of high school, or she found a new boytoy - if the marriage is over that person's financial contribution to you should be over as well.
Why there is a mentality that someone we used to be with should still give us money to "pay back" whatever was lost in a marriage? I'll never get. I live in my marriage, I make choices good or bad in my marriage, and I'm strong enough to accept the consequences good or bad, for those choices. No one said life or divorce was fair - I guess for most people it's all turned into a contest to see who can avoid having the most amount of unfair on their side of the court room. If some people put half the energy into making it on their own that they put into winning, our system wouldn't be as *****d up as it is.
JMO-
--------------------
Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
[Re: 
Edit
Reply
Quote
