BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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I realize CS is all you are ordered to pay. That's all that is enforcable. Cool. But, I hear about NCPs giving CPs reciepts for reimbursement for haircuts, meds, etc.... I cant see that. If we take my SS for a haircut, or buy him clothes, or Tylenol, do I expect BM to reimburse us? No. What we spend on him when he is with us is OUR choice. Maybe not meds, but what is $10 in the grand scheme of things? When you get into meds like my DD11 is on, that costs $404 for a 30 day supply, I can understand that. But, CS doesnt cover all expenses of the children. Sometimes, it doesnt even make much of a dent in it. I see SPs come on here and bytch because their spouse is being asked to help with extra expenses and say that is what CS is for. I dont understand the mindset of those. Maybe someone could help me understand? And not just the "we cant afford it" crap either. There are alot of things we cant "afford" at the moment but come he!! or high water, if my kids or SS need it, they are going to get it one way or another. Just because we cut a check every month for my SS doesnt mean we are financially done in my mind.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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DS takes Singulair, it's $90/month until we meet our deductible. I do send the receipts for that, or any other medication that is a large amount.
He's CO'd to pay half of all medical expenses - and yes, that IS enforceable! :) He has a judgement against him for over $400 just for half of medical and insurance for a few months, part of what he was held in contempt for (along w/ CS and other financial items). I had proof of the receipts given to him, he had no proof of payment. The judge held him to what is stated in the CO.
I do send him receipts for half of dr. co-pays and perscriptions - I would expect him to do the same. He would be paying a portion of that if he ever took DS to the doctor or had his meds refilled - but he doesn't, so I give him the receipts. If he was actually paying CO'd CS and tried helping more, I wouldn't be so particular about sending him the receipts.
I don't, however, send him receipts for anything under $15 (OTC meds, etc), haircuts, or anything like that. Medical receipts and co-pays are the only thing I give to him to reimburse (which he usually doesn't do anyway). It adds up.
If CS was to be used for medical, it wouldn't be specified by the courts that medical is separate - same goes for daycare. He's supposed to pay his portion of daycare, but I don't expect him to pay half of a babysitter if I choose to get one, KWIM?
Edited by JennyLynn (04/09/08 09:21 AM)
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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I couldn't agree MORE!
I don't understand why all NCP's have to do is cut a steady check each month...and they are DONE with their responsibilities to their kids.
Why should all extra and unexpected costs fall soley on BM's shoulders?
This past week, I have spent an unexpected $153 on my kids...JUST THIS WEEK!!!
$79 for SAT prep class
$30 for Symphonic Winds
$18 class photo
$26 2 class fieldtrips
I understand where some NCP's are coming from. They see BM's NOT spending the CS they are getting on the kids and then they want more. I'm sure that's frustrating for them.
But when you KNOW your child is well cared for by BM and you know the extras are truly that...extras, I think it's wrong to pull the "hey, I pay CS and that's all I'm paying" card.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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lovinmykids
old hand
Reged: 01/10/08
Posts: 868
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Right now C is staying with us. Before he was we never asked for reimbursement for anything. I trimmed his hair so that wasn't even a issue. We bought what we wanted or needed to when he was here and that was not a issue because we were the ones picking it out. She didn't ask us to buy him these things.
We did feel CS was enough because the BM has no bills and its not our fault she won't work. DH hated her getting cigs, vodka, etc from C's CS and not getting C things. That still didn't stop us from doing more because C deserves more. We even enrolled him in toddler swimming lessons this summer (before DH got temp custody) to get use to the water. We paid 100% of that and did not and will not ask for 1/2.
As for being the CP of my 3 kids. My son's dad is suppose to pay 1/2 of sports, school expenses such as field trips, and medical. He never has and I know he never will so I do not ask. I wish he would help with medical and the expensive sports things but thats wishfull thinking.
My girls' dad does not pay anything over CS. I'm sure he would if I asked but I don't. He does put all 3 kids in summer camp and has for 4 years. My son is not going as of this year because my son thinks he is to old now. He has never asked for 1/2 of the summer camp cost. Not even for my son (not his son). Its his form of daycare because the kids are there while he is at work and he gets them on the way home.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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Yup - expenses vary. As a CP, I sure as heck don't pay one flat amount a month on my son! It ranges depending on needs.
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PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
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"But, I hear about NCPs giving CPs reciepts for reimbursement for haircuts, meds, etc.... "
Hehe. Yeah, that's MY ex. He stopped doing it when I started the CS review. Last time it was brought up in court, 6 years ago, my ex got chewed out by the judge. Since we will be in court again soon, he stopped doing it. LOL!
I will say, I can understand some SP's bytching about it because you HAVE to draw the line SOMEWHERE.
I don't ask my ex for ANY extras, but if he buys them things without talking to me about it first, I will NOT reimburse. No more handing me wads of receipts from 6 months back requesting reimbursement.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey
Edited by PrincessJ (04/09/08 09:53 AM)
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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I misread - NCP doesn't give me receipts for reimbursement for anything, one time he picked up a perscription and gave me receipt for that. Other than that - he doesn't do anything where he would need reimbursement!
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PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
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Last time my ex asked was about a year ago, right before his trip to Europe. He withheld 2 months of CS because I refused to write him a check for old receipts he had gathered. "I need that money for my trip!" BS.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey
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RedskinFan
enthusiast
Reged: 01/23/06
Posts: 240
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"I don't understand why all NCP's have to do is cut a steady check each month...and they are DONE with their responsibilities to their kids."
Not ALL NCP's feel that way thank you! There are a lot that cut the check, and it doesn't go towards the kids.
You have to realize that it's a double edged sword. Not only was my DH's children taken away from him (he gets a whopping 100 hours a month with them), but now he has to give money to the person he HATES!
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matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
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I don't necessarily think it is all cut and dry like that but I do think there is a level of hostility involved when the daily contact with the children are cut -
if you are one of the fortunate then you are 50/50.
if not, then you are bidding time by a calendar.
maybe a lot of it depends upon the attitude in the divorce or the attitude thereafter.
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Life is a long lesson in humility.
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