debra9591
newbie
Reged: 01/23/11
Posts: 49
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I tried to talk to him this morning. He walked out. Where do I tell her the horse went? I most certainly am not goingto take the blame for her losing the most important thing in her life. She knows the money is gone. She was here when I found out. I confronted him when she was not here. She is a smart kid. She will be with me when I tell the stable owner.
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debra9591
newbie
Reged: 01/23/11
Posts: 49
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He knows I have no gas in the car and that the car I am driving is falling apart. He took the better car with him. Plus 2 others that need work. Plus his work van.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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Take a deep breath. Read online what happens to kids long term from divorce, in particular if one parent talks badly about the other, even when it's true. I know it's hard to bite your tongue...but please read about it. The courts expect you to not talk negatively about the other parent...they courts measure your parenting skill by your ability to work with the other parent....many a parent has learned the hard way when they couldn't resist slamming their ex, that the result is the judge orders custody to the other parent.
Do you have any credit cards? Line of Credit? Friends or family that can help out?
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debra9591
newbie
Reged: 01/23/11
Posts: 49
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He lives with a bunch of confirmd swingers. I do not nor will I slam him to her. She already knows what these people do. She tells me about them running around in their bras and underwear. She and her friends all know. The woman he is living with lost custody to hr stepfather bcause of the mothers lifestyle. And that child is 17 years old. I really don't think any judge would now hand them a 12 year old. What do I tell her is the reason?
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debra9591
newbie
Reged: 01/23/11
Posts: 49
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No. I have no credit cards. I insist on living debt free. No car payments or mortgage. I planned it s when I got to be this age I would be able to live as I wanted. If he had at least left my money and my sons alone I could havebeen fine.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"She knows the money is gone."
Okay, then it should not be hard for her to understand that luxuries have to go for now. It happens during divorces, even if the other party does not clean out accounts. If she puts 2 and 2 together, so be it, but you should not do it for her. It's not a matter of you taking the blame, it's a matter of making things as easy as you can on HER.
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debra9591
newbie
Reged: 01/23/11
Posts: 49
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Getting rid of her horse will be more devistating than her father moving out. She is closer to the horse.
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debra9591
newbie
Reged: 01/23/11
Posts: 49
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That horse is not a luxury to her. it is her life. She would gladly give up food than give up her horse. She would never in her life forgive him for that. She really wouldn't.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"Getting rid of her horse will be more devistating than her father moving out. She is closer to the horse."
Then it's up to you to not complicate things further by actively blaming her father and encouraging her to hate him. Maybe it's time to get creative... is it possible for her to work at the stable in exchange for boarding the horse and lessons? Could she teach lessons to younger kids, take care of the horses, clean up, etc.?
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debra9591
newbie
Reged: 01/23/11
Posts: 49
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Maybe I can talk to the stable owner. She and I have become good friends as we are both active in animal rescue. I think outside board is $75 less per month. Maybe biweekly lessons instead of weekly until the CS kicks in. And like I said pawning his tools. I can then prove where the money went. I am getting worried as he had her with him today and he has not brought her home yet and it is 9:20. He is not returning my phone calls. Do they do temporary custody at the same time when you file for divorce from bed and board? We really need everything speled out in writing.
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