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yana
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Child support modification when a new baby comes
      #762224 - 09/12/11 08:56 AM

My husband is divorced and we pay $1000 monthly child support. He makes $70 000, I make $12 500 for 1 year. His ex-wife has a not official business and claims that she doesn't work. She claims all the taxes for the kids. I have reasons to think that she doesn't need that much money in child support. She goes with the kids to Disney World, the to Chicago for 2 week vacations every year. She bought a $30 000 van. The kids are 8 and 10. They are spending with us every single weekend - Friday nights, Saturdays and she is always late to pick them up on Sundays - 8,9pm!!! We just had a baby and bought a house. The baby wasn't planed and we got the house because we were living in one bedroom apartment and with the 3 children that is impossible. Our mortgage is the same as the rent used to be, but still we need more money. What we can do?

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matart1
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: yana]
      #762226 - 09/12/11 09:25 AM

I am sorry but I do not see a change of circumstances that would necessitate the need to lower child support.

You were aware of the situation you were in yes?

Nothing has changed that I can see other than that maybe you need to earn more wages to support your growing family.

You should have considered that some states will not consider additional children like in your circumstance.

What are the laws in your state or most importantly, what are the laws in the state for the child support order?


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LexieBelle
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: matart1]
      #762228 - 09/12/11 09:27 AM

The acronym "SOL" comes to mind ;)

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matart1
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: LexieBelle]
      #762230 - 09/12/11 09:32 AM

LOL - I know but I was trying not to be a snot in saying it.

The only reason my pregnancy continued was because I knew I was responsible financially for the child. I fully knew of the situation with which I was already living in. No blame would be placed on anything else.


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cpnebraska
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: matart1]
      #762231 - 09/12/11 09:36 AM

If she isn't working then she doesn't file taxes and can't use the deductions. Something doesn't fit here.

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ssmom79
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: yana]
      #762233 - 09/12/11 09:42 AM

My first suggestion would be to find a better paying job for yourself. If not, how about a finding a cheaper place to live, or trying more frugal living? I don't know where you are at now as far as your choice of shopping or clothing or what you drive. Are there any corners you can cut?

Getting child support reduced because you have a baby later in life doesn't happen. It's just not an option in most states. The fact you take them on weekends and she takes them on vacations and drives a new van just isn't enough to request a modification. I'm sorry, you will need to find other ways to afford your new child other than taking from the child support.

You can remove things like cable, shop at consignment shops for clothing for the family and the new baby, use craigslist to get the furniture and things you need, you can clip coupons to save on groceries. If you have CVS and Walgreens you can reduce your spending on household items by about 60% by shopping sales and clipping coupons. You can also reduce your heat temp. or increase your air temp. to help with electric costs. You can try line drying clothes to reduce electric costs. How about becoming a one car family for a while?


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LexieBelle
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: cpnebraska]
      #762234 - 09/12/11 09:42 AM

I think it's possible to get money back even if you don't "work"? If that makes sense?

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cpnebraska
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: LexieBelle]
      #762236 - 09/12/11 10:00 AM

Really? Well, I'm going about this all wrong then! ;)

Nope, I couldn't do it I much prefer to have my own $ then depend on others for everything.

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Cassie23
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: yana]
      #762237 - 09/12/11 10:00 AM

What state are you in? I know that CA has a deduction for "subsequent children"- I really don't think it's a dramatic reduction, however. You can always run your state calculator and see.

Does your state taken into account parenting time into your calculations? Are you getting the correct amount of days added into the CS calculations?

Does your state take into account EACH parent's income? What does his CO have in regards to his X's income? Was it imputed?

I agree with others' advice- in MOST cases you will not have CS lowered due to subsequent children. You will need to see if you can pick up a PT job (maybe when your H is at home, so you don't need a babysitter) to get some extra $$ into your household.


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yana
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: cpnebraska]
      #762238 - 09/12/11 10:04 AM

I am not sure exactly what is the ex-wife claiming with the taxes. I went to work 6 weeks after having c-section and got a better job just a month after that. I can support myself and the baby, but I have no day off weekly or vacation or extra money for anything. My car didn't started today. Something is wrong in the picture. My husband
is not helping me at all.


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annieo
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: yana]
      #762240 - 09/12/11 10:11 AM

If your husband is not helping you you have more problems then lowering his support for his children.....

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yana
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: ssmom79]
      #762242 - 09/12/11 10:25 AM

we live in md. thanks for the replay.

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yana
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: Cassie23]
      #762244 - 09/12/11 10:31 AM

We are in Maryland.

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yana
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: annieo]
      #762245 - 09/12/11 10:33 AM

Probably right, but the baby is his child too:-)

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ssmom79
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: yana]
      #762246 - 09/12/11 10:36 AM

I am not sure exactly what is the ex-wife claiming with the taxes. I went to work 6 weeks after having c-section and got a better job just a month after that. I can support myself and the baby, but I have no day off weekly or vacation or extra money for anything. My car didn't started today. Something is wrong in the picture. My husband
is not helping me at all.
______________________________

Yana, you are right, there is something wrong. Your husband should be helping to support his family.

It can be difficult but keep your eyes peeled for a job that has benefits like vacation and time off. Saving for fun things starts really small when you are strapped for cash. I would suggest trying to put away a few dollars when you can for a fun day. Even if it's $5 a paycheck. Baby steps are steps too and they can get you somewhere. Your walk may be longer, but you can make it.

Can you explain why you feel your husband isn't helping?


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Redlegg
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: yana]
      #762249 - 09/12/11 10:42 AM

I make $12 500 for 1 year.

I went to work 6 weeks after having c-section and got a better job just a month after that. I can support myself and the baby, but I have no day off weekly or vacation or extra money for anything.


What country are you in????


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youngatheart
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: yana]
      #762250 - 09/12/11 10:47 AM

Earning $70,000, with a 25% tax bracket, then subtracting the child support, your husband is still earning more than I do with teenagers in the house and no second income.

He has a responsibility to his other kids. If you can't afford the baby you and your husband cannot afford the baby that you just had, then you might need to look at increasing your income so you can provide better for your child.


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youngatheart
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: Redlegg]
      #762252 - 09/12/11 10:50 AM

I was just wondering that too...because even at minimum wage, she'd be making $15,000 a year.

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yana
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: ssmom79]
      #762255 - 09/12/11 11:03 AM

How about the ex-wife has 2 children in school and not working Monday-Friday?! and I work every single day of the week.

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yana
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: Redlegg]
      #762256 - 09/12/11 11:07 AM

You right, I make close 20 000 a year. I just looked at the last year tax return:-)

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DedicatedDad
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: youngatheart]
      #762259 - 09/12/11 11:14 AM

"Earning $70,000, with a 25% tax bracket, then subtracting the child support, your husband is still earning more than I do with teenagers in the house and no second income."

Nothing personal, but are you sure you don't get $40k or more?

Good family medical insurance is almost $2K/month out of pocket, or are you paying your own? Then there's child support, spousal maintainance (if that applies), working family credit, earned income credit, daycare assistance, subsidized housing, food assistance, ect.

I only state this as I've heard many say they only had 10 or 20 thousand to live on, but when you added in all the non-taxable stuff, they might have $60K as a taxable income if they were earning it.

A poster at another board I frequent was bewildered when she got a teaching degree and full time job....and found she was financially in better shape not working.....it's one of the weaknesses of the system...many folks become dependent because of the learned helplessness that comes with knowing doing all the right things can make you financially less secure.


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Sherron
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #762260 - 09/12/11 11:19 AM

The problem is... even IF your dh's cs would drop... he's not helping you out, so not sure what that would accomplish. Is he even on board with the idea? In your OP you mentioned "we pay $1000 monthly child support"... in your shoes, I would stop contributing to his cs obligation... it sounds like you're living in a pretty low cost of living area if you can support yourself and the baby on $20k, your mortgage is the same as your rent was... what is the issue? FYI... you "needing" more money is usually not an event that will lower cs.

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youngatheart
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #762261 - 09/12/11 11:24 AM

>>>Nothing personal, but are you sure you don't get $40k or more?<<<

I'm quite positive I know what my income is a year.

>>>Good family medical insurance is almost $2K/month out of pocket, or are you paying your own? Then there's child support, spousal maintainance (if that applies), working family credit, earned income credit, daycare assistance, subsidized housing, food assistance, ect.<<<

I don't get subsidized anything, except for EIC, which puts me right at what her husband makes...AFTER his taxes and child support.

>>>I only state this as I've heard many say they only had 10 or 20 thousand to live on, but when you added in all the non-taxable stuff, they might have $60K as a taxable income if they were earning it.<<<

Nope...not me.

>>>A poster at another board I frequent was bewildered when she got a teaching degree and full time job....and found she was financially in better shape not working.....it's one of the weaknesses of the system...many folks become dependent because of the learned helplessness that comes with knowing doing all the right things can make you financially less secure.<<<

I've always done the right thing...which is why I still struggle.


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yana
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: ssmom79]
      #762263 - 09/12/11 11:37 AM

I thinks he is not helping because I used all my credit for those 6 weeks out of work. (He pays his credit cart bills, he has a dept developed before me and he pays the mortgage)He expects from me to pay for the bills and glossaries and I was able to do it, but now we have the medical bills and I think I need a new car...He doesn't communicate the the ex-wife and does everything she wants him to do. At first we had the kids only on Saturdays, then she asked him to start taking them before 6 am on Saturday. We get up at 4 am every morning so we decided to take them on Fridays, but then she got a boyfriend and now we have them until late Sunday...And that is okay, because they are just wonderful kids, but am very scared right now because I relay on my car to make money and we should have some kind of saving for that kind of situations.

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LexieBelle
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: yana]
      #762265 - 09/12/11 11:39 AM

two words... "birth control"

Cheapest and best investment someone in your position can (and SHOULD) make.


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youngatheart
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: LexieBelle]
      #762272 - 09/12/11 12:06 PM

Yup.

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Sherron
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: youngatheart]
      #762274 - 09/12/11 12:24 PM

"He doesn't communicate the the ex-wife and does everything she wants him to do."

If he doesn't communicate with the ex, how does he do everything she wants him to... regardless... if you are right, that he does what she wants him to... I don't foresee him requesting a modification to lower support. I can tell you however that people who don't work and have $12k in cs a year as their only income usually do not go on multiple vacations and have a hard time qualifying for the credit for a $30k van.

To answer your question... what can "we" do... "we" can't do anything to lower the cs, your dh would have to... which isn't likely, based on what you said. That leaves "what can I do"... it sounds like you need to speak with your dh... explain to him your financial concerns and that whatever budget arrangement you've agreed to before is no longer working with the new baby... have some suggestions ready about how both of you can change the family budget to meet the new needs. The key is to rework your own budget... not the budget of the ex-wife.


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yana
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: LexieBelle]
      #762276 - 09/12/11 12:28 PM

Really, it's 99.9 percent secure. I am not the first one or the last one with not planed baby...and that shouldn't be a problem in a 3-year old marriage...

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yana
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: Sherron]
      #762279 - 09/12/11 12:34 PM

What I mean is he doesn't ever argue with the ex-wife...It's a one way communication. She tells him what she wants and he is doing it.

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yana
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #762280 - 09/12/11 12:36 PM

Thanks! That is the most useful message, since I am not American and have no idea what available:-)

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youngatheart
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: Sherron]
      #762283 - 09/12/11 12:42 PM

>>>The key is to rework your own budget... not the budget of the ex-wife.<<<

THIS is the exact perfect response.

As far as the Ex-wife's income, she MUST Have something other than CS coming in because $12,000 doesn't support her and kids and buy a 30K vehicle. Just not happening. I'm betting she's remarried?


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ssmom79
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: yana]
      #762286 - 09/12/11 12:47 PM

[quote]I thinks he is not helping because I used all my credit for those 6 weeks out of work. (He pays his credit cart bills, he has a dept developed before me and he pays the mortgage)He expects from me to pay for the bills and glossaries and I was able to do it, but now we have the medical bills and I think I need a new car...He doesn't communicate the the ex-wife and does everything she wants him to do. At first we had the kids only on Saturdays, then she asked him to start taking them before 6 am on Saturday. We get up at 4 am every morning so we decided to take them on Fridays, but then she got a boyfriend and now we have them until late Sunday...And that is okay, because they are just wonderful kids, but am very scared right now because I relay on my car to make money and we should have some kind of saving for that kind of situations. [/quote]

It can be very scary when medical bills and credit debt are closing in and things like your car break down. Don't be afraid. You can take this one step at a time. First, start with your medical bills. Do you have an amount you can afford to pay monthly, maybe $50 a month for six months, then moving it up to $75 a month for the next six? Maybe using money from an income tax return to pay the balance when the time comes? You can prepare a debt plan and start with the medical. Sometimes hospitals are more flexible than credit companies. Is that something you could do?

Planning for incidents like this is very important, so now that you've found yourself in this situation, don't get in further debt by adding a new(er) car to the mix unless there is no hope for your current car. The fastest way to blow money out the door is to spend it on a car. Just think, if you could afford a payment of $125, you could save $1500 in a year. You could take a vacation.


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Sherron
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: ssmom79]
      #762289 - 09/12/11 01:02 PM

"Thanks! That is the most useful message, since I am not American and have no idea what available:-)"

I doubt the assistance mentioned is available to households grossing $90k a year.


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: Sherron]
      #762291 - 09/12/11 01:13 PM

Definitely, there is no assistance at this level.

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hanzblinx
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Re: Child support modification when a new baby comes [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #762302 - 09/12/11 02:22 PM

Even if you discover his ex has a large income source, and take that info to court, it wont drop his CS payment much.

What I see here is 2 women fighting over 1 man's wallet.


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