MinnesotaMom
member
Reged: 01/05/11
Posts: 191
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"If that house doesn't have a fenced in back yard and I have to pay $5,000 to fence it in, that's MORE money spent because of ys. If it was just me, I would really have wanted a cute little TAB camper that could be towed by any car. Instead, I have a 23 foot travel trailer (at twice the cost of the TAB) and have to have a vehicle with adequate towing power. That means gas guzzler instead of a car that would be more economical. There are MANY extra costs of having kids."
That's not about what it costs to raise kids. Those are 100% choices.
Get rid of dog.
Sell the trailer.
Difference choices have different outcomes.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7806
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Eh, I don't give her a pass. I hate the attitude toward her ex. But I'm not there, I don't know his attitude toward her.
I know that in the 13 years I've been with my husband, BM has been in three relationships (not dissing on the fact she's had three relationships). The first was unemployed until he decided to go to school full time three states away. She funded that, no doubt in part because of her child support, at $15,000 a year. Can a family of four live off/on $15,000 a year? Not in my area without assistance.
The second was unemployed for more than 3/4 the time they were together. No doubt he was able to be her house husband because of the added funds coming from CS, especially since by this time we were doing 50/50 visitation.
The current and future Mrs. BM is also unemployed and hasn't had a job (unless you could gambling) for the duration of their relationship. By now BM is actually making MORE money than my husband and that child support helps to allow her current house husband to be home cooking and cleaning and maintaining her house.
It burns my butt and I know exactly how CJ feels about it. But I don't make a big deal out of it (outside of this forum) because 1) I can't control it 2) it will end eventually and 3) most importantly, the kids do not go without so I know they are well taken care of. And that is what's important.
Who knows how CJ really is outside this forum. I can tell you that the complaining I do here is heard here only. So it's possible it could be the case for her too. Who am I to know for sure?
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1759
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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The exact figures on CS: $585/month for roughly 8 years. $735/month for roughly 3 years. $840/month for roughly 4 years. Total of $123K of TAX-FREE money for ONE child.
I try to avoid figuring this because it just irks me. I didn't gripe much for the first 8 years because DS was in daycare for 4 years. (ALthough I DID offer to keep DS during the summer when *I* was off so he didn't have to go to daycare but Exhole VEHEMENTLY turned down THAT idea. God Forbid I get more than my COURT-ORDERED time with DS. Even to save Ex- money!)
And during the summer(EVERY summer), when I have DS every other 2 weeks time -- it DOES NOT, and NEVER HAS, raised my bills enough to take even ONE HALF of the now-$840/month. I would not be able to pay MY bills if it did.
And you can't factor in house costs because we lived in houses BEFORE the divorce. It's not like we moved to BIGGER accomodations IN ORDER TO have extra bedrooms. I moved from a 4BR to a 3; Ex- moved from a FIVE BR to a 3 after we divorced. And HE moved first. That's why we are equitable on housing as I see it.
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30354
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"I didn't gripe much for the first 8 years because DS was in daycare for 4 years."
Oh, so you don't mine reimbursing NON biological people for expenses incurred while watching the child...just not your ex?
"And during the summer(EVERY summer), when I have DS every other 2 weeks time -- it DOES NOT, and NEVER HAS, raised my bills enough to take even ONE HALF of the now-$840/month. I would not be able to pay MY bills if it did."
Having someone STAY with you, and having someone LIVE there is two different things.
"And you can't factor in house costs because we lived in houses BEFORE the divorce."
Yep, TWO incomes paying for ONE house. Now you have two incomes paying for TWO houses...see the difference?
"I moved from a 4BR to a 3; Ex- moved from a FIVE BR to a 3 after we divorced. And HE moved first."
Wait, you were living in two different houses BEFORE the divorce?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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1HappyDad
newbie
Reged: 05/11/09
Posts: 33
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[quote]I am sooo happy I have NEVER paid CS/Alimony, tho ALIMONY is worse than CS but if she takes the kids then she should be the one to fork out the $$ to keep them. [/quote]
So after all the ARGUMENTS back and forth it seems my approach of simply not paying anything IS the way to go. See how simple it really is.
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1HappyDad
newbie
Reged: 05/11/09
Posts: 33
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[quote]I am sooo happy I have NEVER paid CS/Alimony, tho ALIMONY is worse than CS but if she takes the kids then she should be the one to fork out the $$ to keep them. [/quote]
THIS IS HOW ALIMONY/CS should be paid
[censored] .phpbber .com/phpbb /viewtopic .php?t=352&mforum=emob
Edited by 1HappyDad (02/08/13 03:19 PM)
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Schwein
recently joined
Reged: 10/29/06
Posts: 2
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[quote][quote]I am sooo happy I have NEVER paid CS/Alimony, tho ALIMONY is worse than CS but if she takes the kids then she should be the one to fork out the $$ to keep them. [/quote]
THIS IS HOW ALIMONY/CS should be paid
[censored]://[censored].phpbber.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=352&mforum=emob [/quote]
That just about sums it up
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
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[quote]"Maybe where you live. Where I live, it may cover half the cost of raising a kid. "
$850 may cover half the cost... then spell it out for me... how do you spend $1,700+ a month one one child? [/quote]
Housing (so that we are clear, I am just addressing the cost of raising a child, not child support), utility costs (I am not the one leaving the lights on when leaving), gas for activities/appointments. Food (I figure at least $400 a month for a teen-age boy. My son is 13, so I do have a teen-ager) clothing (some of them sprout up and need new clothes after getting new ones (my sister's youngest son went through 2 wardrobes in less than 2 months. He was also 6"3 by 15). Clothes probably average $75 a month. Extracurricular activities (there is more to raising a kid than food, shelter and clothes), school supplies (this averages $25 a month, but it is going to go up once high school starts), doctor's visits and medicine (I have as of yet to meet a kid who has never been sick), health insurance. And in more expensive areas, that is way more than $850 a month.
And I am not even addressing daycare costs as we are discussing a teen-ager here. But when my kids were younger, that averaged $1,100 to $1,500 a month (the lower end is when both were in school full-time). I still do have some childcare costs, but it is in the summer, so let's add an average of $125-150 a month (this is year round not just summer) for summer care (I am not leaving an 11 and 13 year old home alone for more than 8 hours a day 5 days a week, so summer care is a necessity, the average is for just one kid. Double the average for both).
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1413
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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Wow - I sure wish I could spend $150/m on clothes for my son...
I shop at second hand stores and the senior center for my sons clothes (I get good stuff there all.the.time. because of his growing out of clothing. The stuff at the second hand store here is the same stiff I could get at the store and it is gently used or new and the senior center you get a brown bag bursting for $3.00/bag and they have good stuff too - people take the stuff their children grow out of and some is like new and the latest fashions. I do occasionally have to by new items like socks, underwear, pants (if I cannot find any) and I do buy good shoes for him but nothing near $1800/year - I probably spend $500/year on myself and the same on my child.
You won't leave a 13 year old home with the 11 year old - do they fight a lot - do they not follow rules - are there no chores to do - I only ask because at their ages they should be responsible enough to follow rules, do chores, not fight, etc... I started instilling in my child responsibility at an early age....
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11735
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It does not take that much to raise a child unless you choose to make it that much. JS. My son is almost 16 and I do not spend anywhere near those amounts on food and clothing on him alone. I probably spend around $400-500 a month to feed my entire family of 4.5.
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