Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
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You said:
Wow - I sure wish I could spend $150/m on clothes for my son...
My response:
You may want to go back and read my post. I adjusted it down. And as I stated, my sister had to buy 2 new wardrobes in less than 2 months for her youngest due to a major growth spurt on his part. It's not a matter of wanting to spend that much on clothes. It's a matter of there really isn't that much of a choice when clothes don't fit anymore due to a major growth spurt.
You said:
I shop at second hand stores and the senior center for my sons clothes (I get good stuff there all.the.time. because of his growing out of clothing. The stuff at the second hand store here is the same stiff I could get at the store and it is gently used or new and the senior center you get a brown bag bursting for $3.00/bag and they have good stuff too - people take the stuff their children grow out of and some is like new and the latest fashions.
My response:
You are lucky. I attempted to do that. And, well, the clothes were not gently used and there weren't a lot of them where I am.
Youb said:
I do occasionally have to by new items like socks, underwear, pants (if I cannot find any) and I do buy good shoes for him but nothing near $1800/year - I probably spend $500/year on myself and the same on my child.
My response:
I imagine that the clothing costs will go down once the kids stop growing.
You said:
You won't leave a 13 year old home with the 11 year old - do they fight a lot - do they not follow rules - are there no chores to do - I only ask because at their ages they should be responsible enough to follow rules, do chores, not fight, etc... I started instilling in my child responsibility at an early age....
My response:
So have I. Still not a good idea to leave a 13 year old and an 11 year old home alone ALL day by themselves. During the school and for the occasional day off of school, they are fine by themselves until I get home. Otherwise, my childcare costs would be higher.
BTW, it must be nice to have kids that never fight. And who follow rules all of the time (all it takes is one time for serious trouble to happen). I still have as of yet to meet such a perfect teen-ager. Most of them are human and attempting to assert their independence by not listening. Maybe you should write a book?
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
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[quote]It does not take that much to raise a child unless you choose to make it that much. JS. My son is almost 16 and I do not spend anywhere near those amounts on food and clothing on him alone. I probably spend around $400-500 a month to feed my entire family of 4.5. [/quote]
It's funny how different each kid is. And how different the cost of living in each state is. Which is why I qualify everything I say with "where I live" and "another state may have a higher or lower cost of living than where you live". For one thing, I am very glad not to live in Hawaii. I have heard that the cost of living is astronomical there.
The cost of raising a child is going to be dependent on where one lives, how much one makes (argue with this all you want, but you can't change the fact that a person making $100K a year is going to spend more on raising a child than someone making minimum wage). You also don't get to discount or deduct the costs of raising a child simply because you would spend less or you don't consider it necessary. You only get to determine what is necessary for your family,
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1413
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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"BTW, it must be nice to have kids that never fight. And who follow rules all of the time (all it takes is one time for serious trouble to happen). I still have as of yet to meet such a perfect teen-ager. Most of them are human and attempting to assert their independence by not listening. Maybe you should write a book?"
Did a nerve get hit??
I have raised two teenagers to adulthood and yep they fought and did not always follow rules but hey there were consequences to the actions and they never made the same mistakes again - they KNEW they needed to be responsible and yep they asserted their independence - they were able to because of the TRUST we put in them and yep had a couple issues.
My 11 year old is much more responsible then many adults I know =)
As far as writing a book - how do you know I haven't....
You may have even purchased one....!!!!
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20167
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"Housing (so that we are clear, I am just addressing the cost of raising a child, not child support), utility costs (I am not the one leaving the lights on when leaving), gas for activities/appointments. Food (I figure at least $400 a month for a teen-age boy. My son is 13, so I do have a teen-ager) clothing (some of them sprout up and need new clothes after getting new ones (my sister's youngest son went through 2 wardrobes in less than 2 months. He was also 6"3 by 15). Clothes probably average $75 a month. Extracurricular activities (there is more to raising a kid than food, shelter and clothes), school supplies (this averages $25 a month, but it is going to go up once high school starts), doctor's visits and medicine (I have as of yet to meet a kid who has never been sick), health insurance. And in more expensive areas, that is way more than $850 a month.
And I am not even addressing daycare costs as we are discussing a teen-ager here. But when my kids were younger, that averaged $1,100 to $1,500 a month (the lower end is when both were in school full-time). I still do have some childcare costs, but it is in the summer, so let's add an average of $125-150 a month (this is year round not just summer) for summer care (I am not leaving an 11 and 13 year old home alone for more than 8 hours a day 5 days a week, so summer care is a necessity, the average is for just one kid. Double the average for both). "
So far we have, per month, for a teenager:
housing
utility costs
gas for activities/appointments.
food $400
clothes $75
extracurricular activities
school supplies $25
doctor's visits and medicine
health insurance
childcare/"year round summer care" $150
The numbers you have bring it to $650. Can you fill in the other categories?
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MinnesotaMom
member
Reged: 01/05/11
Posts: 191
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I for one am not a fan of including housing as factor for child support awards. So many folks share custody (not necessarily 50/50) nowadays that both households have the same housing costs, except only one household is being reimbursed for it. Even if you simply take 2 households with a couple kids with the parents each making $50K, after say $15K in CS, one household has $35K and the other $65K after the CS transfer, and both homes have the same housing costs.
It sucks to shortchange the kids in one household like that.
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1759
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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Not-So-Gr8 and Sherron have already SHOWN that in my case FOTY is NOT kicking in ANY money for DS's support. I pay 100% of DS's support PLUS extra when he's @ Exhole's house PLUS I pay 100% of DS's support while he's @ my house.
AND I don't get to claim him on taxes or even for the Child Tax Credit. Luckily I have a well-paying profession that I can afford this without too much struggle.
Like I said, I support 2 households.
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20167
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"I for one am not a fan of including housing as factor for child support awards."
This list is only supposed to clarify the cost of raising a child, based on goodmom's earlier comment that $850 a month may cover half the cost of raising a kid, or more specifically, a teenager. $1,700 a month, tax-free, seems high to me, so I asked her to back it up with some actual numbers.
If it makes you feel any better, my daughter has aged out of cs, and my son is not being shortchanged in the ncp's household in any way due to cs.
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Anything4Love
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 60
Loc: Virginia
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When a custodial parent receives CS I do not understand why they are not required to document where that money goes and prove it is for the children. There is WAY too much abuse in this system and this would be an easy fix for that. It's unconscionable that someone can suffer the indignity of losing custody and then have to watch the person they're giving their hard earned money to spend it on alcohol, their own clothing, etc.
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3158
Loc: SC
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It's not as easy a fix as you think. In fact it opens up a whole nother can of worms. Who verifies the list of expenses to prove its not made up? How is it determined the specific costs for each kid and who makes those decisions? What if one or the other parent doesn't agree? What are the consequences for violations? How long does it add to court cases when there are violations and how does that get paid for?
Parents are supposed to spend the cs money for the support of the kids, and not on booze, clothes, and spray tans for themselves. Logically - yep thats what SHOULD happen.
Unfortunately there are parents out there who will NEVER agree on anything (c_jane) and there are ones who will take advantage. Adding yet one more layer of legal hoops to an already overworked system isn't going to help it.
Dare I say, the government shouldn't have to sift through this level of minutiae in a cs case. The system isn't broken because it doesn't do that; the PEOPLE who abuse cs in the first place are the problem, and you can't legislate a conscience.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1759
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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BUT.... if CP's were REQUIRED to submit receipts say 2 or 3 times a year to the NCP -- it MIGHT make them more conciencious of where the $$ goes since they would be more accountable. I am PRETTY sure it would in my case if Exhole had to account for over $10K a year......
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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