daddyinthed
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Reged: 04/09/13
Posts: 18
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I have a ten year old (almost 11) year old daughter with BM. I have her half the time, but according to the state it doesn’t count because I only have about 115 overnights. (I got screwed out of 50/50 when I moved back to MI from Nashville with my parents-I was forced to move there for a few years because I was not working, and they moved there and I had no where to live)
I had arrears I was paying (because BM refused to forgive them), and just recently finished after they took my tax refund. BM demanded I pay her back for half of a school trip my daughter took, I told her she could take it out of my tax refund she stole, but that I was not going to hand her $100 cash when she can’t prove she spends it on my daughter. She went ballistic. She said that that tax refund money was to pay her back (as if I really owed her anything!! She is so entitled!!), not for current expense. She says she will file to increase my child support. It finally went down to $180/month, from $300, I was planning on using the extra money to do things with my daughter.
She just moved in with her boyfriend, won’t that lower my support? Can I get more custody because of that? She got really defensive when I mentioned her boyfriend, so I know she is scared. She makes almost 40 grand a year, plus his income now, she doesn’t need my money at all, and I am barely getting by!!!! And she want’s MORE?????
What are my chances that the court will see her boyfriend moving in right when my arrears are paid, and then filing for support she doesn’t need as the money grab it is? I am fine with supporting my daughter, but I WILL NOT SUPPORT HIM. All she cares about is money, I wish I could get custody, but they took my 50% away when I moved and would not give it back to me, i am an involved dad!!
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Debi
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Her boyfriends income has nothing to do with the support you owe. It's not his obligation to support your child. That honor belongs to you and her mother. Now if he chooses to help his girlfriend pay the bills that is his right, but it's not an obligation and if they split his help would be over.
There is nothing fishy about him moving in right after the arrears were paid off because you'd have had to pay them no matter what . This is CS not alimony and it's not modifiable or is your obligation cancelled because she is cohabitating.
Also You don't have the child half the time....you have her about 3.5 months and it's unlikely you will get more time simply because her boyfriend lives there.
Whether or not she can get more support depends only on your income or on yours and hers depending on the laws in TN. If your income has gone up since CS was ordered then you will likely owe more if she takes your to court. If not then it won't.
I will tell you a story about a friend of mine who wanted her x to pay half of their child's braces. He refused and she took him to court for it. The judge not only ordered him to pay half the braces he upped the support from 100.00 a month (it was a 12 yo order) to 400 a month. She wasn't even asking for more support, so be careful which hill you're willing to die on. Figure it out carefully using a CS calculator. If giving her 100 bucks is cheaper than the next several years of higher CS, then I'd fork out the 100.
I have in the past forgiven arrears but that's because I know my daughters dad would help pay for extra activities like dance or an expensive field trip if I asked him. You sound very bitter in accusing your x of "stealing" your tax return. She didn't steal it, you owed it. A good rule of thumb is to always love your child more than you hate your x.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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daddyinthed
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Reged: 04/09/13
Posts: 18
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No, we live in MI now. She offered $350 to not go to court, but I shouldn't have to pay her anything, really. I do have her half the time, she took away my 50% custody because I was forced to move away!
I was on unemployment, and owed arrears when they figured support. I should not have to pay more that I can;t afford if she makes enough to suport my kid. She threatened to get mne arrested and i had to buy my daughter a plane ticket for visitation when I lived in TN.
she's bipolar, and has posted to craigslist casual encounters! I even brought pictures when we went to court.
She scheduled her dance classes on my "evening" (not overnight) and then asked me to help pay!!! How fair is that.
the calculator I used [censored]://[censored].miestimator.com/ says I shoudl only pay 131 (incomes of 2100 net and 1100 net), and she wants 350!!!
I should not have to pay for daycare (why she wants more) because she works too much.
Edited by daddyinthed (04/09/13 08:16 PM)
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youngatheart
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Are you making minimum wage? Because $131 isn't crap to help raise a kid with.
If you moved away, you SHOULD have paid 100% for your child to visit you. If you moved away, you SHOULD have had 50% custody removed. Seriously...how can you exercise 50% of the time when you live out of state?
Your Ex's boyfriend has zero affect on the amount you owe to support your child, nor should it. This is YOUR child.
You SHOULD be paying a percentage of daycare. You SHOULD be paying a percentage of medical and dental insurance. You SHOULD be paying a percentage of medical and dental bills on top of insurance.
One would hope that you would be happy, as a parent, to take part in your child's activities/life, but hey, you can't force a parent to be interested. *shrug*
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daddyinthed
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Reged: 04/09/13
Posts: 18
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If she signs her up for stuff, she should sign her up on her own time. she convinced m y daughter to take the class that was only offered on my night. she wants to use me as a babysitter!!
Last month she called and insisted I take a day off because she wasn't willing to take another sick day at work when my daughter was sick. what kind of mother is that?
I would be happy to stay home with my daughter, but her mother is entitled and tells me what to do.
It wasn;t my fault I moved away, I had lost my job, and my parents moved, and I had nowhere to go. Even though I can pick her up from school (which should give me primary!), she fought and took way my 50%.
I should not have to pay her money for her to get her boyfriend things, especially if he is supporting her now by paying rent etc.
Edited by daddyinthed (04/09/13 08:42 PM)
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daddyinthed
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why should I have to pay MORE support because I make less than her and she has more time? That makes no sense.
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youngatheart
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You might seriously want to look into some therapy. You seem to have a lot of misplaced anger at your ex, and it appears, even on a message board, to be affecting the kind of parent you are to your child.
>>>Last month she called and insisted I take a day off because she wasn't willing to take another sick day at work when my daughter was sick. what kind of mother is that?<<<
A mother who is 90% supporting her child, and needs to earn a living to do so since the child's father isn't willing to do so?
>>>It wasn;t my fault I moved away, I had lost my job, and my parents moved, and I had nowhere to go. Even though I can pick her up from school (which should give me primary!), she fought and took way my 50%.<<<
You moved away, it is impossible to maintain 50% custody in another state. Being able to pick up from school should not, necessarily, give you primary. Specifically if there is instability in your household, which it seems there is.
>>>I should not have to pay her money for her to get her boyfriend things, especially if he is supporting her now by paying rent etc.<<<
And this is where your issues show. How much do you think it takes to support a child? Because I guarantee you that she isn't supporting a child on $181 per month and then having extra left over to buy whatever for her boyfriend. As for her boyfriend paying rent for her (and I doubt you know who is paying what in their household), isn't that what your parents were doing for you?
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daddyinthed
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Reged: 04/09/13
Posts: 18
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my household is very stable. More stable than someone who is bipolar and "living with' a boyfriend.
I help my disabled father. Is that a crime?
If he's not paying rent, than she's supporting him, and I should not have to support her if thats whats going on.
If she wants to be a [censored], she can post more on craigslist, like she did when we were married.
Everyone I talk to says to take her to court to reduce my support because of this.
the calculator I used says I should be paying 131 (even though she doesn't really need it, she got by fine when I was not paying)
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youngatheart
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>>> why should I have to pay MORE support because I make less than her and she has more time? That makes no sense.<<<
You making less than her doesn't mean that you should pay more. Her having the child more of the time DOES mean that you should pay support. BOTH of you should be supporting your child.
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daddyinthed
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Reged: 04/09/13
Posts: 18
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I do support her! I have her half the actual time!!
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