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finz
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Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6481
Re: Support Reduced? [Re: daddyinthed]
      #801961 - 04/09/13 09:46 PM

[quote]If she signs her up for stuff, she should sign her up on her own time. she convinced m y daughter to take the class that was only offered on my night. she wants to use me as a babysitter!!

[/quote]

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It's called PARENTING, not babysitting.

I agree that a custodial parent shouldn't regularly sign a child up for activities that occur during the NCP's time. If you daughter had expressed no interest in this type of dancing, then I'd be a bit perturbed too. If your daughter is really interested in this and this is the only time the class is offered, then a good parent would consider the child's wants and needs.

Two reasonable parents would understand that there might be a few occassions where that scheduling on the NCP's time has to happen. Compromise and the ability to be flexible about changing times are important.


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daddyinthed
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Re: Support Reduced? [Re: finz]
      #801962 - 04/09/13 09:52 PM

why should I be flexible? she took away my custody!

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annieo
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Re: Support Reduced? [Re: daddyinthed]
      #801963 - 04/09/13 09:53 PM

I call troll.....

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daddyinthed
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Re: Support Reduced? [Re: annieo]
      #801964 - 04/09/13 10:04 PM

[censored]://[censored].youtube.com/watch?v=aktLRiWXfqg

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youngatheart
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Re: Support Reduced? [Re: daddyinthed]
      #801965 - 04/09/13 10:05 PM

What was your schedule before you moved away from your child? How long were you in another state? How did you move back?

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daddyinthed
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Re: Support Reduced? [Re: youngatheart]
      #801966 - 04/09/13 10:08 PM

I had 50/50. I was in TN for 4 years, moved back 2 years ago. She lied and said she wold agree to 50/50 when I came back.

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youngatheart
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Re: Support Reduced? [Re: daddyinthed]
      #801967 - 04/09/13 10:10 PM

What was your schedule before you moved away?

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finz
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Re: Support Reduced? [Re: daddyinthed]
      #801968 - 04/09/13 10:19 PM

[quote]why should I have to pay MORE support because I make less than her and she has more time? That makes no sense. [/quote]

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Ugh. You just aren't getting it.

You shouldn't pay more BECAUSE you make less. You should pay more if your salary is more, and less if your salary is less. A certain percentage of your salary should go to supporting the children you make.

I think some CP's get totally screwed by having an ex who is intentionally underemployed or refuses to send CS. Some CP's and NCP's BOTH suffer and have to carry a heavier load, as do the kids, when one is unintentionally unemployed or underemployed. Arrears SHOULD still accrue to pay back the CP who probably overextended themselves. Some kids get really screwed when the NCP sends a reasonable amount, but a lazy CP uses it more for their own support. Some NCP's really get screwed when they make a very large salary and send very large CS checks for far more than is used to raise the kids and allow a lazy CP to live a more lavish lifestyle than they should.......You are NOT one of them. You owed money, you've finally paid up, keep paying what you owe.

If she makes more than you, and you actually havd true 50/50 custody with you as the residential parent, she'd be paying you. It sounds like your earlier job loss and need to move cost you that 50/50. That sucks for you, but it's not your ex's or your dd's fault. The costs of her health care, food, clothing, shelter, etc didn't decrease because you lost your job. Your anger over the arrears YOU let build up isn't helping you now in dealing with your ex or your dd.

If you want to chase around fighting for primary custody to get out of paying (that seems to be the primary motive you refer to or imply here, not getting back to spending more time with your dd).....get a lawyer, prepare to spend A LOT of money, and go for it.

If I was a judge, I would laugh at a NCP who tried to have a CP declared unfit because they are bipolar and have had a love life.......when that NCP left the child in the care of that CP and moved out of state. Personally, I am against exposing children to sex outside of marriage/live in relationships because of our values and religious beliefs. Many have different values. Is your ex an exgirlfriend or exwife ? If she's an exgirlfriend, I think it's ridiculous to complain about her new boyfriend moving in (as long as he's not a danger to your dd). If you don't have a no cohabitation clause in your CO, I'd forget that fight.


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finz
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Re: Support Reduced? [Re: daddyinthed]
      #801969 - 04/09/13 10:20 PM

[quote]why should I be flexible? she took away my custody! [/quote]

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She held a gun to your head and MADE you move out of state ?

YOU sacrificed your custody arrangement when you MOVED.


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daddyinthed
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Re: Support Reduced? [Re: finz]
      #801970 - 04/09/13 10:22 PM

she is my ex wife. we had a no-cohabitation clause, but she says that since I have had live-in girlfriends for short periods, and he has stayed over on the weekends for years, and i never filed about it, it would just get thrown out.

Is she wrong? should I bring this up if she takes me to court?

Edited by daddyinthed (04/09/13 10:23 PM)


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