MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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I think thats a great attitude to have!
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26804
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I am wondering with no CO , if she could create her own Morality clause, like no visitation, and then it is off to court......
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youngatheart
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Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9400
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Quote:
Perhaps. But love is still blind, lol. She MAY not be able to when the time comes because they decided to buy furniture, a car, a vacation, etc 'together' and now that he's bailed she's stuck with allllll of those expenses on her own. And even if she can afford it, now she's angry because 'how dare he bail on me' after we combined all of these bills and 'heeeee proooomissssed'. I'm happy it worked out for you, but let's be real, more often than not, it doesn't. And what you go into it saying you can and will do isn't always the outcome on the other side.
As most people on this board know, that is also true if you are married. Same issues.
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MJenkins
enthusiast
Reged: 10/07/10
Posts: 201
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Quote:
Quote:
Perhaps. But love is still blind, lol. She MAY not be able to when the time comes because they decided to buy furniture, a car, a vacation, etc 'together' and now that he's bailed she's stuck with allllll of those expenses on her own. And even if she can afford it, now she's angry because 'how dare he bail on me' after we combined all of these bills and 'heeeee proooomissssed'. I'm happy it worked out for you, but let's be real, more often than not, it doesn't. And what you go into it saying you can and will do isn't always the outcome on the other side.
As most people on this board know, that is also true if you are married. Same issues.
Amen.
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If you can't beat em, they're not tied down properly.
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MrsB
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Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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Yup I wondered the same thing. Likely that's why they didn't tell BM they were living together.
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MJenkins
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Reged: 10/07/10
Posts: 201
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Actually, I didn't even know they existed/were enforceable unless it was for the safety/wellbeing of the child (like having a drug user/dealer or violent person around). I didn't know an ex could control your personal life to that extent on a whim depending how they felt that day.
Not saying that evvvveryone who wants one is a jealous psycho. But, I digress.
We didn't tell her we live together because she'd make it even harder for him to see his daughter. It's bad enough now that when he goes to pick her up his bm tries to stall him, or she'll make reference to it on facebook in an attempt to place doubt in my head. We're not really dealing with an adult here. She knows I've been around her daughter, but doesn't know the extent, so she's constantly trying to reinforce the idea of "Mommy and Daddy" in order to get rid of the visual of "Daddy and MJ".
Either way, she has never been anywhere he's lived. He picks up and drops off his daughter. They've never lived together, etc. With that being said, I don't want her to know where I live period (whether we're together or apart). She's the type to show up uninvited, or stake out the place. I can tolerate it online, but we'll have problems in person until she grows up and gets over him. I'm looking forward to the day...
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Buckeye
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Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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Well, what is good for the goose is also good for the gander.
So, if she wants a morality clause, he should get one against her too.
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MJenkins
enthusiast
Reged: 10/07/10
Posts: 201
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It's NOT good for the goose though. He trusts her judgement of the men that she chooses to bring around his child, she should do the same unless given reason not to. Reason NOT to shouldn't be because you're jealous of the new person, or you're afraid your child will like them. It should truly be a concern for the wellbeing of that child. So no, I don't wanna play tit for tat with her. Luckily she hasn't brought it up.
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If you can't beat em, they're not tied down properly.
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MJenkins
enthusiast
Reged: 10/07/10
Posts: 201
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In other questions though, when someone DOES try to get a clause like that, does that mean the other person has to give their address to them?
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If you can't beat em, they're not tied down properly.
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1004SRS
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Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
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She wasn't a pyscho when they made a baby together. She was good enough to have s3x with, wasn't she. It takes 2.
You need defriend her on facebook without any drama. Do it and don't say a word. WHy do you really care what she says on FB anyway?
Sounds like all of the parties involved need to grow up.
Plus, you don't know what your bf says to her when he picks up his child. My ex used to say awful things to me. He would call and blame me for having to move in with his gf (uuuuuuhhhhh, yeah). You are hearing the side of the story of the man you are having s3x with. Hard to hear, but there are 2 sides to every story.
Edited by 1004SRS (10/18/10 06:24 AM)
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