Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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Seriously, I dont know if I should just laugh or bang my dang head on the desk! Good Grief!
to explain briefly....
Ex got the kids each cell phones about 4 years ago.He constantly called and txt so much it was beyond annoying - we got used to it, kids got tired of it and so it mellowed out over the years. Ex then took the cell phones away from 2 of them and told them to share a phone. A situation that caused more and more fighting the older they got.
Plus add to that many MANY times once the kids were at their dads, either the cell phones would not work, or were taken away. It has become the norm to not hear from them for most of their weekends with him or their vacations. Once again, didnt always like it, but like most know, you just put up with it. What I didnt like is when the judge finally told him I was allowed at least 1 call a day so then he made it so I had to call his cell phone and put up with him asking me to beg him to talk to the kids - real, real fun. oh and then for about a month he blocked me from the kids phones altogether - good times i tell ya :)
fast forward. All 3 just entered high school. I was looking over the bills and realized that if I downsized my home phone package and bundled a few things, I could switch cell phone plans and get dh and I and the kids a phone for the same price I was paying now. That way it would eliminate all the phone fighting. I kept my old phone and a few days ago 3 shinny new cell phones came in the mail. The kids were excited as well as dh. I did put calling restrictions only that they cant call after 10pm - 6 am but home numbers still work for emergencies. I did not block anyone. And I asked that they at least answer when I call (Im not a frequent caller) and they go into the other room for privacy. Im tired of my ex sounding louder than the kids when I am talking to the kids on the phone.
About 30 min ago I tried to call the kids - both phones went directly to voice mail. Hmmm. I am going to not jump to conclusions and will try again later today, but in ways it just ticks me off. really, he has to mess with everything. Oh and phones did not work the 1 time I tried to call last night as well.
My dh is saying that if he finds out that ex messed with the phones for whatever reason (unless its a good one) we are blocking ex from the cell phones. I will wait and see but I can relate to his frustration, plus we always have our home line available for him to call.
we are just tired of playing nice all the time.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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I got DS a cell phone. His Dad won't let him use it at his house. He actually has no way to call anyone since Dad is totally cell and put his phone out of reach when the kids used to go there. DS is with me most of the time so he wants to be able to say good night or at least say hi every so often. I don't care if/when he calls his Dad and I even suggest it if something exciting has happened.
But his house, his rules.
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Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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While I agree - it is written in our order that I get a phone call a day. And I dont think it is safe for kids of any age to be anywhere without some type of phone. Just to be able to dial 911 if they had to. Just seems very unsafe to me.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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I totally agree, but what can you do?
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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I think if you get your call everyday, and he takes them on a vaca where there is NO phone contact, you will look VERY bad for taking it to court because ONE time he was somewhere without a phone.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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lol gr8dad - I have always understood that. And I dont plan on taking this to court either. The thing it is was very rare that I hear from the kids during his time. It isnt just during his vacation time, vacation time etc.
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Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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srs- not much but get irritated - oh well not worth it.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
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I would be upset with the games your ex plays with the kids' phone access too, FG.....but I would drop the part about it being unsafe for them not to have a cell phone.
Cell phones weren't even around when many of us were growing up and we lived to tell.
The kids would be safer if you only carted them around in a Volvo, but most of us can't afford the mechanic's bill for that. Adding the 'safety' issue makes it seem like you are stretching to me.....I'd stick to....you want to talk to them each day and you are allowed by CO to talk to them each day. That should be scheduled between you and the kids without interference from the ex (as long as the times aren't during school or church, etc)
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Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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Trust me - I may be venting here, but Im not really going to do anything about it. As for the safetly - I realize none of us had cell phones and turned out just fine. My oint is that he also doesnt have a home phone either. Plus he works nights so the kids would be left all night long with no phone whatsoever. That to me isnt safe.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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I totally get that. My kids wish they had access to a phone when they are at Dads, but they don't. I think it is a dangerous way to operate, too. What ahppens in case of a fire or someone gets hurt. 911 isn't much help if you don't have access to a phone.
But, his house - his rules.
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