Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Here is an excerpt from the Indiana parenting time guidelines. I'll get to a case eventually
1. Scheduled Parenting Time To Occur As Planned. Parenting time is both a right and a responsibility, and scheduled parenting time shall occur as planned. If a parent is unable to provide personal care for the child during scheduled parenting time, then that parent shall provide alternate child care or pay the reasonable costs of child care caused by the failure to exercise the scheduled parenting time.
Commentary
Parents should understand it is important for a child to experience consistent and ongoing parenting time. A child is entitled to rely on spending time with each parent in a predictable way and adjusts better after a routine has been established and followed. A parent who consistently cancels scheduled parenting time sends a very harmful message to the child that the child is not a priority in that parent's life. In addition to disappointing a child, the voluntary cancellation of scheduled parenting time by one parent may interfere with the plans of the other parent or cause the other parent to incur child care and other costs.
6. Enforcement of Parenting Time.
A. Contempt Sanctions. Court orders regarding parenting time must be followed by both parents. Unjustified violations of any of the provisions contained in the order may subject the offender to contempt sanctions. These sanctions may include fine, imprisonment, and/or community service.
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SweetLight
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/07/10
Posts: 2016
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"That is some pretty horrible advice you are giving. If my attorney gave me such advice, I'd fire him on the spot."
----->Ok, don't use that info or attorney then. We all know there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Take what you like and leave the rest. Everyone else will too. I'm so glad I didn't follow advice from regulars on this board. That was my choice though. :-)
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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Considering the laws also allows sanctions that may include fine, imprisonment, and/or community service on the CP for not allowing visiting, it rarely ever happens.
If you ex doesn't want visitation and you enforce it, that would not be a scenario I would like to have for my children.
My suggestion, let things as they are, keep records of his non-visitation and if you have to go back to court, ask for your child support to be increased based on prior behavior.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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6. Ordered to keep the oldest 2 on his cell phone contract until age 18 (they are 13 and 14 and he shut them off a few months ago)
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Are you fricking kidding me??? This is one of the stupidest orders I have ever heard of!! Why would he be ordered to do something like this? NO child HAS to have a cell phone.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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[quote]Considering the laws also allows sanctions that may include fine, imprisonment, and/or community service on the CP for not allowing visiting, it rarely ever happens.
If you ex doesn't want visitation and you enforce it, that would not be a scenario I would like to have for my children.
My suggestion, let things as they are, keep records of his non-visitation and if you have to go back to court, ask for your child support to be increased based on prior behavior. [/quote]
This is good advice, but also get the order modified to show how little time he actually bothers to have them, that way he can't pull some backhanded stunt and try to mess with you just cuz he is angry.
I do wish you the best, I know how much it hurts your kids when the other adult who is supposed to be there can't be bothered to act like they care.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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frustrated_ex
recently joined
Reged: 10/28/11
Posts: 7
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I was really not trying to start a war when I came here for advise. Again I know my particular state will do nothing about the fact that he is not exercising his visitation rights and frankly as far as my feelings I would rather he didn't. I only worry about the damage that it may be having on my children and the fact that there is really nothing that I can do to help them understand something that I myself do not understand. Our court order does look a bit strange to most people but the problem is it was an agreed upon court order we never went before the judge it was a stipulation that we both willingly signed. The child support was suppose to be 420.00 a month more according to both of our lawyers but I settled for less and in return he was suppose to keep 2 out of the 6 childrens cell phones and he has not. As stupid as it may sound it was ordered and he has not kept them. My children do need cell phones I have no land line and I have 3 special needs children so if one goes into what we call a rage and begins to loose control we need to have a phone to be able to call to get assistance for him and the other children as soon as possible.
The problem with him not taking these children is it is clear they do not fit into his made up perfect little world because some of them are special needs. My issue with that is it was fine when we were married and he could just put it all onto me and now that his new fake wife does not want to deal with them neither does he.
I will continue to do what I am doing and not worry about the fact that now my adopted children have had 3 out of 4 parents quit on them. For anyone to think that will do nothing to a child's self esteem is wrong. The last thing I want to do is force him to make these kids apart of his life and then have them be treated poorly because he HAS to take them. I have a few people who will babysit for them but typically aside from them going to school I am allowed no free time as sitters are expensive and the break he was suppose to give me is not an option so I will do what I agreed to do and that is love and raise them.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20191
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"I will continue to do what I am doing and not worry about the fact that now my adopted children have had 3 out of 4 parents quit on them. For anyone to think that will do nothing to a child's self esteem is wrong."
I think you'll always worry... it sounds like you want what is best for them, and 3 out of 4 parents quitting on them doesn't even sound remotely close to a good thing. They are lucky to have you and the stability and love you give to them in their lives.
"I have a few people who will babysit for them but typically aside from them going to school I am allowed no free time as sitters are expensive and the break he was suppose to give me is not an option so I will do what I agreed to do and that is love and raise them. "
Not getting a break as a parent can be frustrating, and even more so when some of the kids are special needs. Have you checked into respite care? Maybe the term varies from state to state... but it is a state-funded program that understands the importance of giving parents with SN kids a break and will pay for a certain amount of hours of SN care each month at predetermined rates. I am not sure if there are income guidelines in other states, there aren't any in mine, but it may be something worth checking into. While it does not change that their father bailed on them, it would provide you with a much needed break. Kudos to you for doing right by those kiddos.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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No, actually, it makes alot more sense finding out that it was an agreed upon order.
You aren't starting a war, don't even worry about that.
I know that it sucks when your X drops the ball with the kids all the time. My XH has seen our kids approx 3 times in over a year and one of those times was when he made her smoke marijuana.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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Let's see.....I have my kids 20% more than what the court order says....I guess I should call the DA and demand prosecution!
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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Yes, you should. Get on that right away!
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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