annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1413
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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No one outright asked my stepchildren they were asked what they liked about each household and what they liked about each parent and asked what they did not like and my stepchildren being 10 (ss) and 8 (sd) a the time were with it enough to know how to tell the GAL what they wanted.
My ss had gone around telling everyone that would listen that he wanted to stay with his dad - the school bus driver even wrote a statement because my ss was upset one day and when the bus driver asked him what was wrong he said he wanted to stay with his dad (he lived with us at the time long story how that came to be) and he did not want to live with his mom again but his mom "won" and he had to go back (we did not tell him anything - bm told him everything - she was gloating to a 10 year old) but we were able to appeal it and a GAL got involved and the rest is history.
I believe it is a case by case basis in many states...
Their desire to reside with which parent was given weight but neither spoke to a judge neither gave testimony. The GAL in our case was VERY thorough and very educated in her field and had a PhD in psychology so it wasn't a court appointed GAL - she was appointed but she was paid for by us - we needed someone who knew about and practiced child and adult psychology in addition to being a GAL. It makes a lot of difference in the education and experience of the GAL. I would never use a court appointed GAL who only had the GAL training I would always pay for someone with an education in child and adult psychology - the court GAL's mean well but we needed more to understand the bm in our case and someone who could weed through her bs and a court trained GAL would not have been able to do that without experience in psychology, they are just not educated or experienced enough, at least in our situation.
I have thought about being a GAL after I finish my masters in psychology but that is still a few years off and I would rather help children in other areas of need.
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11736
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Oh I get that. Our sitch was alot like yours. I don't think our judge would have even let the kids testify at those ages, but he had to get to the truth and that was the only way to do it (we didn't have a GAL).
I just don't like broad sweeping statements like what was stated above. It really does depend on the situation and the state. A 14 yr old going to court to tell the judge he wants to live with dad for no good reason I don't think would be given much weight at all.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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My co-worker just lost custody of her two children 6&8th grades this past Thursday. Texas has a form children can sign at age 12 like a "Parental Preference Form" which does hold weight, surprisingly.
My co-worker and her ex divorced in 2007 she was named the custodial parent, her ex is active duty stationed in Ohio. He motioned for custody, a GAL was assigned-neither child would speak to the GAL. He flew in Tuesday, trial Wednesday & Thursday and decision late Thursday. The boy will leave with the dad today, and the girl will leave in June when school gets out. Both kids wanted to go live with their dad.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11736
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Wow, seriously? There wasn't a reason, just that they wanted to live with him?
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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ROFL.. It reallY IS okay to just recognize you're mistaken M5. Really.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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BAER -
I'm sure someone that you are PAYING is impartial and has the kids best interest at hand. Nope. If you are paying - they are your employee.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7806
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I think the point of her post was that she preferred someone with a PhD in Psychology as opposed to someone who took a couple of courses to be certified as a GAL.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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and I say you can pay professionals to agree with you. DOn't spout how great a GAL is because you got your way and then say you paid her because she has a background you chose.
In court, it happens all the time. Prosecutors and defense find professionals who can twist things to make it fit their side of the case.
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1413
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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you must have missed the part where bm retained custody for another year of sd...
bm was more then excited to have this particular GAL because ya know it was only my husband and I who had "issues" Fact is if you ask her she was the perfect parent and in her mind she did nothing inappropriate (even having the children in a sexually unhealthy environment) and that she would be able to get away with her bs so she was looking for my hubby and I to be {insert whatever here} and that her selfish, inappropriate, lying ways would not be noticed because as everyone who knows her thought she should be an actress...we needed someone who could see through that, someone who could take the time needed in this situation.
A much as I would like to hate this bm, I do not, she is my stepchildrens mother and they love her, I do not have to like her but my stepchildren have never known that through all the years of the battles and bs. We never had to tell them much of anything because bm did that all for us including lies and my stepchildren were able to see that as well. We and the courts could take her own statements and declarations and show the inconsistencies from one to another - I could go on forever on how she made her own bed and then she had to lay in it. We did not want the children to have to live in the environment she created.
bm SHARED the cost so we all PAID for a GAL with the specifications we wanted so yep she was a paid employee but it was an agreed paid employee.
Yes my point was were (all of us) wanted a particular type of GAL and not one with simple GAL training.
btw - we were able to prove PAS, which at that time was really almost unheard of so go ahead and think we hired an employee to give my hubby his children and bm was taken advantage of BAER
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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she was appointed but she was paid for by us - we needed someone who knew about and practiced child and adult psychology in addition to being a GAL. It makes a lot of difference in the education and experience of the GAL. I would never use a court appointed GAL who only had the GAL training I would always pay for someone with an education in child and adult psychology - the court GAL's mean well but we needed more to understand the bm in our case and someone who could weed through her bs and a court trained GAL would not have been able to do that without experience in psychology, they are just not educated or experienced enough, at least in our situation.
THis is a quote from your original post. Changed your mind a bit on your follow-up post. SO, you didn't pay for your GAL and she didn't have the background you wanted?
By the way according to my kids therapist AND mine, PAS is not a recognized Mental Health Disorder. PAS is not a recognized symdrome by the AMA or APA. It is not listed in the DSM-IV. Dr. Gardner self published his own study and it wasn't proven through normal scientific methods.
Edited by SRS (02/21/12 12:05 PM)
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