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Rocko
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Reged: 10/10/06
Posts: 94
Facebook...
      #778871 - 03/02/12 12:11 PM

So my ex is allowing our 9 and 11 year old to have facebook accounts-and blocking me and my families access from viewing it. I have talked to her about me not agreeing with this. She said her allowing them to have it is her 'reward' for being good kids. Sharing legal custody, do I have any right to stop this from happening?

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javajunkiee
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Reged: 06/01/08
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Re: Facebook... [Re: Rocko]
      #778872 - 03/02/12 12:29 PM

Outside of reporting the accounts to facebook and getting them closed, no. FB TOS doesn't allow kids that young to have accounts so she lied to open them.

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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.


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Rocko
journeyman


Reged: 10/10/06
Posts: 94
Re: Facebook... [Re: javajunkiee]
      #778873 - 03/02/12 12:33 PM

Yeah, I did report them and tell the kids I don't agree with them having the accounts and listed the reasons. She opened new accounts without the kids last names a day later....

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kkimberh
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Reged: 03/24/10
Posts: 391
Re: Facebook... [Re: Rocko]
      #778876 - 03/02/12 02:25 PM

I hate to say it, but as long as they are supervised, there's not really much wrong with kids having them. My dd didn't have one, but my nieces did - they're mom got them pages mostly so they could play the games - it's surprising how many of the games are really geared towards kids that age....

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I love therapy. It's like a talk show, where I'm the guest and the only topic is me.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Facebook... [Re: kkimberh]
      #778877 - 03/02/12 02:31 PM

I think his MAIN issue is that the kids have them, and HE is blocked from seeing them.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Rocko
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Reged: 10/10/06
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Re: Facebook... [Re: gr8Dad]
      #778879 - 03/02/12 02:37 PM

That's one issue, but there is little supervision by her part. There really is just no point for a 9 year old to be on Facebook unsupervised or not, there are plenty of other safer environments for games.

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NikkiL
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Re: Facebook... [Re: Rocko]
      #778932 - 03/03/12 07:29 PM

Her house...her rules, get use to it...sucks sometimes but it is the way it is...

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elliesmom
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Re: Facebook... [Re: NikkiL]
      #778962 - 03/04/12 05:03 PM

There is really no point in owning a television, but I will bet that you do.

Its entertaining. And she gets to choose how the kids will be entertained in her house without interference from you - and vice versa.

Frankly if I were you I would apologize for getting the kids accounts deleted and ask to be added as a friend. You have neither the right nor the ability to stop it - you may as well keep an eye on them.

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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.


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Runswithscissors
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Re: Facebook... [Re: elliesmom]
      #779005 - 03/05/12 12:29 PM

Rocko,

It's her home.. and what she does in her home is just that... her home... now.. you can open up FB accounts for the kids when they are at your home.. and make sure you have access to them..... I mean, how much is a 9 and 11 year old going to do on FB...? Most I see is play games...


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kkimberh
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Reged: 03/24/10
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Re: Facebook... [Re: Runswithscissors]
      #779024 - 03/05/12 03:15 PM

You could actually use facebook to keep in touch w/ your kids more when you're not with them. My brother & sister in law live about 3 hours away. But I talk to my neices and sil all the time, we share pictures, etc., and we play games together via facebook... It's been a great way to keep in touch

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I love therapy. It's like a talk show, where I'm the guest and the only topic is me.


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ssmom79
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Re: Facebook... [Re: kkimberh]
      #779026 - 03/05/12 03:43 PM

OP stated the BM blocks them from FB. Not just him, but his family also.

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Rocko
journeyman


Reged: 10/10/06
Posts: 94
Re: Facebook... [Re: ssmom79]
      #779028 - 03/05/12 04:14 PM

Yes, blocked. And I do have the right to report any account that is of a child under 13, that is FB's policy. Again, there is no supervision happening.

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ssmom79
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Re: Facebook... [Re: Rocko]
      #779030 - 03/05/12 04:26 PM

Sure you have the right to report it. Then what? They create another account with a new email and they block you anyway.

Here's the thing Rocko, there are things in life you cannot control. This is going to fall there. No you cannot FORCE her to forbid them to have a FB just because you don't want them to have a FB.

But relish in this, when the children are at your house, and your ex (just an example) doesn't want your kids eating ice cream after dinner....guess what, she can't control that. So it goes both ways, you control your home, she controls her home. I just used ice cream as an example but perhaps there is something else that you are OK with and your ex is not OK with.

I live a life full of instances where the BM in my life does things I would NEVER let happen....NEVER EVER EVER. But it's her house, her rules and as long as the children are not in danger, it's up to her to run her house. No, having a FB does not put your children in danger.


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Rocko
journeyman


Reged: 10/10/06
Posts: 94
Re: Facebook... [Re: ssmom79]
      #779032 - 03/05/12 05:32 PM

[quote] No, having a FB does not put your children in danger. [/quote]

Having a sister who is a detective and has caught 3 child rapist/murderers in less than 6 months who lured kids via FB would contradict that.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Facebook... [Re: Rocko]
      #779033 - 03/05/12 06:12 PM

Sorry, have to call bullsh!t, if ONE detective caught THREE child rapists/murderers, it would be on the news.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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annieo
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Reged: 07/07/10
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Re: Facebook... [Re: Rocko]
      #779044 - 03/05/12 07:23 PM

If it is just their family and friends the likelihood of that happening is practically nonexistent and you can use it as a teaching moment to have them understand we all need to be safe. Having done what you did with their accounts you have lost a way to keep an eye on them. I would tell the children you were concerned and wanted to make sure they were safe and you would love to be their friend. If you can't beat them, join them and then you can watch to see if they are in danger or just enjoy more of their lives. You can say that maybe you overreacted - even if you do not think you overreacted at least it may get you unblocked and you can keep watch?

My 10 year old got a facebook account last year and he was all excited for about 2 days and then he just played games and I think the last time he was actually on facebook was 4 months ago - at your children's ages the interest may have been fleeting but now it is more intriguing because you kinda went off the deep end with your response.

Just my 2 cents =)

And I agree with the others - her house, her rules.


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ssmom79
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Re: Facebook... [Re: Rocko]
      #779079 - 03/06/12 08:48 AM

Having a sister who is a detective and has caught 3 child rapist/murderers in less than 6 months who lured kids via FB would contradict that.
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I am speaking from a legal standpoint. I don't believe you'd have luck legally stopping this. I am aware of the dangers of FB however my opinion of this is not based on the dangers of FB. It's based on your original question which is can you do anything about it? No, I don't think it's a battle you can win with your ex.


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MTmom
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Re: Facebook... [Re: ssmom79]
      #779874 - 03/13/12 05:45 PM

DH's DS11 did this for a short time. But after DH explained to him that it was very disrespectful and rude to block family members, and once a holiday passed without any cards or presents from the family members whom he had blocked.. SS11 came around pretty quickly.

This is a parenting opportunity for you and your children. At some point in your children's lives, they will have a Facebook, Myspace, Google, or whatever other social media site is all the rage at that time. Instead of fighting it, you're much better off to teach your children what your expectations are of their online activities.


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