gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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So, has your educated self (who DIDN'T know that a child could drop out of school at 16) come up with a CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCE to file for custody? BTW, JUST a child saying they want to live with the other parent doesn't cut it.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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[quote][quote]There are only 2 judges in Family Court in this county & the lawyer says they are both pro-mom. [/quote]
That should have no bearing at all. What should is the wishes of the teen-ager. [/quote]
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My teenagers think they should be allowed to drink.
My teenagers think that I should have to pay for whatever they think they need and they don't have to bother getting a job.
My teenagers (boys) wish that we would give them more privacy when they are entertaining girlfriends.
My teenagers wish we would buy each of them a new car and pay for all gas/insurance/repairs.
My teenagers wish we would remortgage the house so that they could go to private college instead of state schools.
My teenagers hope that instead of living with either parent if we were to divorce now, they could live with their rich auntie because her family goes on better trips.
Think a judge would give them all that ?
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1753
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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[quote] BTW, JUST a child saying they want to live with the other parent doesn't cut it. [/quote]
Does in Texas. Don't need another reason. Seems we BOTH don't get all our FACTS straight. ;)
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2015
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You said:
Lets see if you feel the same when YOUR teenager gets MAD at you and wants to leave. I sincerely doubt you will give in to their wishes at that point.
My response:
While I don't have a teen-ager yet, I do have kids old enough that the courts would take their wishes into consideration. And both have gotten made at me and told me that they want to go live with the fun parent. Which is not me. Ex pointed out that he would no longer be a fun parent then. Oh, and they would have to change school systems. They don't ask to live elsewhere anymore.
You said:
We, as PARENTS, have a RESPONSIBILITY to number one, make good decisions for our UNDERAGE children, second, to not allow them to make MISTAKES that could be avoided.
My response:
Whether you like it or not, a judge is going to give the wishes of a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD a whole lot of weight. Probably enough that a change in custody is likely to happen. Something about not going against a teen-agers feet.
BTW, you are dead wrong (no surprise) about it being our job about not letting our kids make mistakes that can be avoided. How else are they going to learn if they don't make mistakes? Our job as parents it to teach them and let them make the mistakes and learn from them.
You said:
But the bottom line is that she has brainwashed this kid from DAY ONE, that Dad is an idiot, and she is "better". She degrades Dad in FRONT of the child, she EXCUSES any of the child's mistakes as DADS fault, and she is, overall, a crappy parent.
My response:
To be blunt, I think that they are both crappy parents who have bad mouthed the other parent to the child. In other words, both are guilty of what you stated above.
Doesn't change the FACT that a judge will give a whole lot of weight to the wishes of a teen-ager.
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2015
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[quote]So if your 16 year old wants to drop out of school, you will allow it? [/quote]
To be blunt, can't stop him. But he's going to have to get a full-time job and pay rent if he chooses not to go to school.
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2015
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[quote]So, has your educated self (who DIDN'T know that a child could drop out of school at 16) come up with a CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCE to file for custody? BTW, JUST a child saying they want to live with the other parent doesn't cut it. [/quote]
But a teen-ager refusing to go to the other parent's is.
For somebody who claims to have so much experience with family court, you sure don't know much about it when it comes to teen-agers, especially ones as old as the OP's son is.
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2015
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You said:
My teenagers think they should be allowed to drink.
My response:
Talk about apples to oranges. A teen-ager drinking alcohol is ILLEGAL. A judge giving a whole lot of weight to the wishes of a teen-ager is NOT.
You said:
My teenagers think that I should have to pay for whatever they think they need and they don't have to bother getting a job.
My response:
Another apples to oranges. A judge giving a whole lot of weight to a teen-ager's wishes is not the same as your assinine statement above.
You said:
My teenagers (boys) wish that we would give them more privacy when they are entertaining girlfriends.
My response:
So? Still apples to oranges. And has nothing to do with a family court giving a teen-agers wishes a whole lot of weight when it comes to where they will live. And to be blunt, while I don't agree with CJane's parenting style, her son is NOT GOING TO BE PLACED IN HARMS WAY or do poorly in school if his wishes are honored (which they are likely to be).
You said:
My teenagers wish we would buy each of them a new car and pay for all gas/insurance/repairs.
My response:
Still has nothing to do with what a family court does.
You said:
My teenagers wish we would remortgage the house so that they could go to private college instead of state schools.
My response:
Still has nothing to do with what a family court will do.
You said:
My teenagers hope that instead of living with either parent if we were to divorce now, they could live with their rich auntie because her family goes on better trips.
My response:
Still has nothing to do with family court other than if you should divorce, a judge would give their wishes a whole lot of consideration when it comes to WHICH PARENT THEY WILL LIVE WITH.
You said:
Think a judge would give them all that ?
My response:
Being facetious really doesn't help your argument at all. Nor does it change that a family court will give a lot of weight to the wishes of a 15 year old. Whether you like it or not.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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[quote]Don't always agree with CJane's actions, but her son is 15, not 5. He's at an age where he can ....[/quote]
....be GREATLY manipulated and bribed.
[quote]Chances are the judge is going to go with the teen-ager's wishes. [/quote]
Which is so smart because teenagers are SO mature and knowledgeable! um, not.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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[quote] What should is the wishes of the teen-ager. [/quote]
Are you Crazy????? What should matter is who is the more capable parent that will meet the childs needs AND facilitate a relationship with the other parent (not that either of these parents have exhibited this ability.....)
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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What should matter is who is the more capable parent that will meet the childs needs AND facilitate a relationship with the other parent (not that either of these parents have exhibited this ability.....)
TOTALLY AGREE Avaya. Whatever happens I hope it is in the best interest of the kid.
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