finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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Worse....it's HER parents' house !
LV.....it sounds like your heart is in the right place. I agree that baby momma sounds like a loser. I just don't think your future sil sounds much better than her.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"Worse....it's HER parents' house !
LV.....it sounds like your heart is in the right place. I agree that baby momma sounds like a loser. I just don't think your future sil sounds much better than her."
It depends on why the dd and fsil are living there, no? Fsil is 30, sounds like dd is closer to his age than bm is. Yeah, they could be losers mooching off LV... or it could be a mutually beneficial agreement. At $200 a month is cs, fsil doesn't sound like a high income earner, but it's still possible that between him and dd they pay enough rent to keep LV's home out of foreclosure... or it's possible that them living there provides LV with assistance through an illness or disability. Hard to tell if the "kids" are losers or angels without more info.
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Ruthie_Marie
recently joined
Reged: 08/11/12
Posts: 1
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Hi this is dd, I had a very high risk pg and my daughter's spermdoner left me when I was 2mo along. I had to quit work and move back in with my parents. I met my fiance when I was 4 mo along. It was accidental love. He had a small apt and was always back and forth working his butt off. My parents (mom with scoliosis, and osteoarthritis dad with emphasima and bilateral torn rotators, bilateral torn acl in knees & no ins for either) talked with both of us once we got engasged and allowed both of us to stay with them so #1 I would beable to relax durring the pg and recover after the c-section #2 so he could help THEM run their business #3 so we could save up for the beautiful house that we are moving into next month. I am a second shift nurse, fiance is a master machanic. At such a young age, he was trying to make sure child was with her mother primarily. Mother offered week-to-week in June, the problem now is her mother does not want her back. With having a 15 mo and an 8 mo its hard for either one of us to get to a computer for reasearch, so my mother very kindly offered to help.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"the problem now is her mother does not want her back. "
What an incredibly sad statement.
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Eve
member
Reged: 11/28/05
Posts: 112
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He is a master mechanic? Your mom said he is getting a new job in a scrap yard. And do you all really want this baby living in a motel with a 20 year old that doesn't want her and her boyfriend, who has no attachment to the baby at all? Your mom is very kind to want to help, but I think the baby's father has to take the bull by the horns so to speak, he is 30 years old.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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[quote]Hi this is dd, I had a very high risk pg and my daughter's spermdoner left me when I was 2mo along. I had to quit work and move back in with my parents. I met my fiance when I was 4 mo along. It was accidental love. He had a small apt and was always back and forth working his butt off. My parents (mom with scoliosis, and osteoarthritis dad with emphasima and bilateral torn rotators, bilateral torn acl in knees & no ins for either) talked with both of us once we got engasged and allowed both of us to stay with them so #1 I would beable to relax durring the pg and recover after the c-section #2 so he could help THEM run their business #3 so we could save up for the beautiful house that we are moving into next month. I am a second shift nurse, fiance is a master machanic. At such a young age, he was trying to make sure child was with her mother primarily. Mother offered week-to-week in June, the problem now is her mother does not want her back. With having a 15 mo and an 8 mo its hard for either one of us to get to a computer for reasearch, so my mother very kindly offered to help. [/quote]
His juggling a 15 mo old and an 8 mo old tells me he BLEW OFF 7 months of trying to deal with his own dd, who should have been his priority, when he knew there was a time clock ticking on when his life would have been getting busier.
I don't understand why someone would start a new love relationship (especially with someone who should have had their own focus on their high risk pregnancy) when they were seemingly too busy/broke/whatever to arrange custody and visitation with their own newborn.
If it's true love, shouldn't it still be there when each of you deal with you own pregnancy, new baby, housing, and finnancial issues ?
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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[quote]"Worse....it's HER parents' house !
LV.....it sounds like your heart is in the right place. I agree that baby momma sounds like a loser. I just don't think your future sil sounds much better than her."
It depends on why the dd and fsil are living there, no? Fsil is 30, sounds like dd is closer to his age than bm is. Yeah, they could be losers mooching off LV... or it could be a mutually beneficial agreement. At $200 a month is cs, fsil doesn't sound like a high income earner, but it's still possible that between him and dd they pay enough rent to keep LV's home out of foreclosure... or it's possible that them living there provides LV with assistance through an illness or disability. Hard to tell if the "kids" are losers or angels without more info. [/quote]
****************************************
Being disabled myself, I can still say with certainty that my need for physical or financial assistance will NOT make me or influence me to condone my children shacking up with anyone outside of wedlock.......and sure as heck not in MY house.
Maybe LV feels differently about people living together and , specifically, her child doing that. She may be fine with that.
The further info RM provided not only reinforces my initial feeling that fsil has messed up priorities......it really makes me question the judgement of all of these folks.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"The further info RM provided not only reinforces my initial feeling that fsil has messed up priorities......it really makes me question the judgement of all of these folks. "
I know... the whole, "custodial parent refusing to take child back" and "the problem now is her mother does not want her back", makes me feel very sad for the baby. Sounds like no one wants her. Figured I'd give them the benefit of the doubt on all of them living together, sometimes, you have to do what you have to do... shacking up isn't criminal, not for me to decide who lives in their home... but the rest... just messed up. All this talk about wanting stability for the little girl, bm moving her 11 times in 14 months, and when given the opportunity to change all that, to provide stability for the baby they claim to love very much, all they can do is biatch about bm not taking her back. Both parents are failing this little girl right now.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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This whole thing is so disgusting it makes me want to puke.
My husband - a REAL father - would have given anything to have his 2 oldest children with him full time. Not because it would be cheaper or easier - it is NOT - but because they are precious to him. And if their mom didn't want them? He would sack up and protect them from someone who clearly did not have the level of affection for them a parent should. Not jump up and down about how could he make her take them.
Finding out their SD was abusive when I was pregnant with twins and stuck resting, was surely not convenient. He still fought like h3ll with every dime we had to get them. ANd protect them - from the horrible choice HE MADE when he chose her for mom.
This dad seriously needs to man up. And no way in h3ll would I want to marry (or have my daughter marry) a man so seriously in need of a head thumping out of being a cr@ppy dad.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Okay, a nurse and a master mechanic living together. Not a problem. Having to live with her parents? Yes, there is a problem.
You both need to grow up. He needs to man up and take care of his responsibility. He has a child for heavens sake.
His child should take priority over his current shack up and her pregnancy by another man.
Hopefully he's not stupid enough to be convinced to put his name on your child's birth certificate. He's already got one child he doesn't want.....
Doesn't sound like he's the catch you seem to think he is. If he was, he'd fight to keep his child with him. A real man would fight tooth and nail for his child - not worry about how to get her back to his last shack up.
Very sad for the child to have such a crappy set of birth parents and soon to be step-mom.
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