Jeanne02
recently joined
Reged: 04/15/13
Posts: 5
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My cousin needs help. Woke up one morning a few weeks ago to find 2 kids gone. Birth cents and ss cards gone too. Turns out her husband the kids dad (they've been split for a few years now but still living together and no custody agreement) took them out of state and will not give her the new address. She called 911 and police said they couldn't help her cos no custody order. Called her lawyer (not family court lawyer) and was told there was nothing she could do! What in the world is going on? How can he just steal the kids? What can she do?
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11735
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Since there is no custody agreement, then it is not considered kidnapping. How do you kidnap your own kids when there is no custody order in place?
Are they legally divorced? I think the only recourse she has, if they are legally divorced, is to file for custody, but there are no guarantees that she will get it. At the very least, she will get visitation.
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
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Your cousin needs to act fast given that time has already passed. First, she needs to get a family law attorney (the attorney she consulted with clearly knows nothing about family law) and file for the immediate return of the kids to their home, temporary custody with him having supervised parenting time. While there is no custody plan, he has clearly shown that he is capable of just taking off with the kids. Then she needs to find him. Hire a PI if necessary.
Filing immediately with court will show that she in no way agreed to become the long distance parent but she needs to file without delay. The longer she waits the harder it will be.
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Jeanne02
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Reged: 04/15/13
Posts: 5
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I know in the county's around here a parent needs the other parents permission to re-locate their child. No they do not have a custody agreement but that just means both parents have equal rights. He didn't just cross states lines...he went many states away. We are in PA...he moved to FL!
No they are not legally divorced either. This just happened earlier this month. He already enrolled them in school down there (supposedly). So she knows the school district that he is in, but still no address to serve him papers or get the kids.
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Jeanne02
recently joined
Reged: 04/15/13
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Thank you for the advice. I'm going to pass this on to her. But my question is will the Judge even let her file for emergency custody when she does not have an address to serve him the papers with? Does she need to hire the PI firs and find him first? By then, he may file for custody in FL and then she will be screwed.
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gr8Dad
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Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30354
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"First, she needs to get a family law attorney (the attorney she consulted with clearly knows nothing about family law) and file for the immediate return of the kids to their home, temporary custody with him having supervised parenting time."
She CANNOT file until she makes the attempt to locate them. This is because in order to file, she MUST have him served. She can file for an abandonment divorce, but that takes several years of the spouse being gone.
FIRST thing she needs to do is drive her butt to Florida, show up with the children's birth certificates (she can order new ones, expedited, they will arrive in a few days) at the children's school and get the kids. THEN she can file for divorce.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Jeanne02
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Reged: 04/15/13
Posts: 5
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gr8Dad, what would you suggest to her then if she is scared of doing that? This Dad is unstable and has made threats before. She used to have a PFA against him but it has since expired. Would the local police in Florida help her without a court order? Would the school even give her the kids without a court order? We are sure Dad told school not to give any info to any body other than himself and his own mother who is with him down there.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9823
Loc: Arkansas
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[quote]gr8Dad, what would you suggest to her then if she is scared of doing that?[/quote]
If she is scared, she has a LONG road ahead of her; there is NO fear stronger than my desire to protect my children.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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gr8Dad
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Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30354
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Okay, first of all, if she is so paralyzed with fear that she cannot go to the school, and pick up the kids, she doesn't stand a CHANCE of getting the kids in court. She is NOT going to be confronting him, she is going to be picking up the children. She needs to have their birth certificates and something indicating their residence. She then needs to call for an officer to merely keep the peace, and go to the school and get the kids. He does not HAVE a custody order, so there CANNOT be one on file.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
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[quore)
She CANNOT file until she makes the attempt to locate them. This is because in order to file, she MUST have him served. She can file for an abandonment divorce, but that takes several years of the spouse [/quote]
Didn't say to file for divorce. What I said was to file for the kids to be returned, which she CAN do now. She needs to get on record as not agreeing to the kids moving out of state at all.
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
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[quote]gr8Dad, what would you suggest to her then if she is scared of doing that? This Dad is unstable and has made threats before. She used to have a PFA against him but it has since expired. Would the local police in Florida help her without a court order? Would the school even give her the kids without a court order? We are sure Dad told school not to give any info to any body other than himself and his own mother who is with him down there. [/quote]
Not if the father is there. But if she picks them up at school, there's not much the school can do other than call the father. BTW, she may find that it is a good idea to have the court documents and a process server with her so when the father shows up he can be served.
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Jeanne02
recently joined
Reged: 04/15/13
Posts: 5
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That is a good idea to have the papers with her at the school and serve him that way. The issue now is that since he cleaned out their bank account when he left, she doesn't have much money. She will need money to file and money to fly down there and to fly the girls back with her. I just don't think she has the money to do that right now and I know the longer she waits the worse it is.
She also told me yesterday she is scared that when she files and he gets served or see it in the paper or whatever that he will just pick the kids up and move somewhere else with them and she will never be able to find them.
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1413
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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Tell her to put on her big girl panties and go get her children and return them to their state of residency so that she can file where she lives and keep the children with her in their home at least until the court can make determination - she needs to file for emergency custody where she lives and go get the kids - her being fearful is how she will lose her children - does she want the children?
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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She can't afford not to get them now. If she leaves them he will be there long enough to file for custody in FL and then she will not stand a chance.
You are correct in that both parents need to consent to the move away if there is a custody order. Since there is no order he has as much right as her at this time and there isn't much she can do. She needs to beg, borrow and steal to find the money to file for custody before those kids meet the residency requirement in FL and she loses any chance of bringing them back.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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