Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
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You said:
He has indicated that he will keep the kids out with him and his gf. He has indicated he will refuse to fly them back,
My response:
Is that in writing? Having written proof in court is better than a he said she said scenario.
You said:
which I responded they won't be going out if he cannot show proof of round trip tickets.
My response:
Be sure that the tickets indicate that they are non-refundable. Otherwise, he can get the ticket and then get a refund for them as soon as he shows them to you.
Another thing that I would ask for is that if you end up having to pay for the return trip, that he has to reimburse you and that the amount is considered child support and to be collected by the same agency that collects child support.
You said:
He will not provide that because he wants me to pay for half the cost.
My response:
A court may or may not split the costs. Since he is moving for the sole reason of getting married, I would fight hard not to be penalized by his move.
You said:
We're in a stalemate, and I refuse to take responsibility for it. He and I both know he is responsible for the costs of transportation. He is voluntarily moving, to get married.
My response:
A court will eventually resolve this issue. In the meantime, stick to your guns. If he can't provide proof of a non refundable return ticket, then the kids don't go.
You said:
Local or long distance, the April 1 applies. Whether he's already there or just getting out there, he has to have some idea of what dates he would like. I didn't say it needs to be set in stone, but a heads up or discussion is not out of line.
My response:
A court won't hold him the 4/1 deadline. But until you get the transportation and parenting plan in place, then the current parenting plan is in place. And since there are no overnights, he's going to have to come out to see them. At his own expense.
You said:
I really don't care that you don't believe the abuse. You're a stranger, and have no knowledge except what I have provided. It doesn't matter to me. I know what me and the kids have been through. So, keep twisting words and looking for ways to try to trip me up.
My response:
He treats most women this way. Especially ones who dare to disagree with him. Do you know how to put a poster on ignore?
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
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[quote]So let me understand this. He HAD supervised parenting time, fufilled the requirements, but the STANDING orders that are in effect now, have him with SUPERVISED parenting time, but you have been allowing EOW and a midweek, correct?
Well, BECAUSE you have allowed parenting time OUTSIDE of the current order, you are going to have a REAL hard time claiming you now WON'T go outside the order (ie, allowing him to see the kids long distance).[/quote]
No, she's not. A judge is going to go by what the COURT ORDER states. The judge may change the court order at the time (and probably will put a long-distance parenting plan in place and address transportation costs). But she can't be held in contempt for following the court order. Period.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30354
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"A judge is going to go by what the COURT ORDER states."
And, as usual, you are WRONG. There is a thing called status quo and setting a PRECEDENT. THAT is why you have to be EXTREMELY careful what you do when you are working under no, or temporary orders.
"But she can't be held in contempt for following the court order. Period."
Well, if CONTEMPT is the ONLY thing you are avoid, you would be correct. However the OPINION of your ATTITUDE to the judge is EXTREMELY important, and just because he cannot find you in contempt, does not mean that he or she cannot penalize you in ANOTHER manner (finding in the other parties favor, more/less time, etc) based on their opinion of your actions.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
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As usual, you are wrong.
Status quo went out the window the minute he moved. Where status quo would have helped is if he remained where he was and the OP decided to follow the court order. Or decided to move the kids out of state.
But she did neither.
A judge ISN'T going to hold her in contempt for following the ONLY existing court order.
And it is very unlikely a judge is going to find her actions unreasonable when all she is requesting is that a parenting plan be put in place and that HE PROVIDE PROOF of a return ticket.
And, as she has mentioned, her attorney has told her to follow the existing court order. Her attorney knows more about her state's laws and how a judge will rule than you do.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30354
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"Status quo went out the window the minute he moved."
The status quo set has NOTHING to do with location. It has to do with her willingness to agree to custody outside the time in the order. She simply CANNOT stand in front of a judge and say, "Your honor, I will not let him have time outside of the order, because I do not trust him. Of course, I have, for the last three years, allowed him to have time outside of the order, and he has done nothing wrong."
"And it is very unlikely a judge is going to find her actions unreasonable when all she is requesting is that a parenting plan be put in place and that HE PROVIDE PROOF of a return ticket."
SO when she tells the judge on the court date of MAY 30th that she will notgive Dad any SUMMER time because he didn't have his REQUEST in by APRIL 1ST, do you think THAT will sound unreasonable?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
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Whether you like it or not, when the parents can't agree, the fall back is the COURT ORDER. You can talk until you are blue in the face, but that doesn't change the fact that a judge will not hold it against her for following the court order. In anyway given that he MOVED and created a distance that is going to require a long distance parenting plan and is refusing to provide proof of a return ticket. BTW, requesting proof of a non refundable return ticket is reasonable.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3049
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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Depending on the cost of the ticket, he can show it to her....and then not use it. You can change non-refundable tickets -- for a fee -- I wouldn't consider this adequate proof of anything.
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1759
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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[quote]SO when she tells the judge on the court date of MAY 30th that she will notgive Dad any SUMMER time because he didn't have his REQUEST in by APRIL 1ST, do you think THAT will sound unreasonable? [/quote]
I believe she said the April 1 deadline was ALREADY in place for his visitation. OR that it would be applicable whether LD or not. I know it is in Texas. My Ex's wife always had to let him know by April 1 when she wanted the kids for the summer, and he had to inform her of same.
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1759
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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[quote] The status quo set has NOTHING to do with location. It has to do with her willingness to agree to custody outside the time in the order. She simply CANNOT stand in front of a judge and say, "Your honor, I will not let him have time outside of the order, because I do not trust him. Of course, I have, for the last three years, allowed him to have time outside of the order, and he has done nothing wrong." [/quote]
AND she continues, "NOW Ex- is moving out of state and has told me he will keep the kids when they get there (shows proof) and THAT is why I no longer trust him"
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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supporter84
recently joined
Reged: 06/25/12
Posts: 15
Loc: Indiana
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Some things have been misunderstood, so I will clarify.
1) We have no court date at this time. The ex is moving from IN to WA on May 30. The ex desperately wants to stay out of court. He has pissed our judge off the few times we have been in court.
2) I expressed my frustration over not being able to make plans for this summer. No where, and in no way did I say the kids could not go out to WA because the ex didn't get me his dates by April 1. I said I want a new parenting plan in place, and that he provide proof of return before they go out.
Sorry, but I'm not the ex-nj from hell that many here have to deal with. I have never even threatened to withhold the kids from my ex, while he cannot say the same. His goal in life is to get custody somehow so he can make me beg to see the kids. Wish I had that one in email. I have been able to get him to email me a few times this year instead of texting. He doesn't like emailing because the emails can be used in court.
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