k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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I sat down and talked with my husband and told him that I am seriously considering leaving because of our issues (his mother, his oldest son, etc.) He asked if there was any way he can change my mind. I told him he has a lot of work to do - least of which is talking to his mother about butting out and talking with his oldest son about how he speaks/treats me. I told him I need him to be a father and husband not one of the kids. I also told him he needs to go to a marriage counselor with me and guess what....HE AGREED TO GO!!!! I can't believe it. Now I just hope he goes and really tries and not that he didn't just tell me what he thinks I want to hear just to shut me up.
It doesn't fix our problems but at least we can begin to try and work on them.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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Oh that's awesome k1! I'm so happy to hear that. I'm glad you talked to him before leaving him without giving him a chance to agree to these terms. Keep us posted! I hope it all works out!
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PhoenixRising
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
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Congradulations!
Maybe this is the wake-up call he needed.
I wish that I spoke up about my interfering (now ex) MIL, twenty years ago..
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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Good luck. 
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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Thanks for your encouragement - I really appreciate it.
We have our first appointment with a marriage counselor on September 6th. Unfortunately because we live in such a small town - the nearest one is an hour away but we'll make it work.
Thanks again!
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madalex
enthusiast
Reged: 01/08/07
Posts: 261
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Your counseling will be more successful if you go in and admit your own contributions to the issues in your relationship. If you just go in, dump it all on him and expect him to change to make you happy, you are going to be out of luck.
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sally1234
enthusiast
Reged: 12/07/06
Posts: 237
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Good for you---that is a great start to a solution!
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k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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I do realize this. I know I'm not perfect (darn close though - just joking...) we both have to be honest. I encouraged him to discuss things in our relationship that he isn't happy with - we both have to be honest if we want to try and make it work.
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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My MIL's were so grateful I got their daughters out of their hair that they never said a bad word to me..well, until I dumped the daughters
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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My MIL should have been grateful! I took care of her favorite grandson and her youngest son and got them out of her hair! But instead she can't stop trying to control everything in my house. She tells her grandson that "he doesn't have to listen to me since I'm not his real mom." She turns around and tells me how happy she is that he finally has a mother (his BM abandoned him at 2 years old.) She underminds everything I say and tells me I just have to deal with the attitude and lipping off and nastiness that kid has to dish out. And my husband never put her or his son in their place! Now if he wants me around he has to put a stop to both of it and go to marriage counseling for our other issues. Hope he doesn't back out...
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