shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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I've had visitation with my 3 daughters 9, 12 and 14 for the past 3 years. The l4 d won't speak or see me. The l2 year old is so involved with sports that her mother got her interested in it's crazy. She has practice and games and it interferes with my time with her. She doesn't understand that I am more important than the sports. We go to church together but I don't think they really like it. I only approve of them visiting with other Christian kids but her mother let's them go with their school friends. I don't even know who these people are, I just know that are not Christians because they don't go to my church. I've done family Bible sessions with them since they were little (mother never involved) but they don't seen interested. They keep sneeking off listening to rap and hip-hop music which I do not condone. They are living a life that I don't approve of. Can anyone help me. do you think I have a chance of getting full physical custody of them because mom drinks.
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Buckeye
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Posts: 7857
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Forget it, you sound like you are part of a cult. "I only want them with other Christian kids and ONLY if they go to MY church. I don't condone rap and hip-hop. I don't approve of their lifestyle".
I don't think there is any chance you will get custody and as thing progress, even less chance that the kids will even want to be with you.
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Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
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What the heck is it with these "Christians" that they feel they are better than others and that their children may not associate with other who are NOT Christian. Tell me, is that one of the teachings of Christ? I'm curious and I await your resonse with eager anticipation.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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Yea, I've been trying to get full custody of them for 3 years and the courts just don't listen to me. I have a Christian attorney but nothing is helping. My x is a drunk I even have witnesses that saw her drink wine at a dinner party in l999..nothing will hold up in court. But Bucky, you are just like my x. Cultish church..I belong to a family of believers and I want my children to grow up and become great Christian women. I don't think this is happening and it's so frustrating to not seeing them walk the walk with the Lord. My x is really screwing them up with all the secular trends and traditions.
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Buckeye
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I think she should get a no visitation order against you IMMEDIATELY.
Did you ever stop and think that IT IS YOU that is wrong?
Oh, wow, you have witnesses that saw her drink wine at a dinner party in 1999 - that hardly makes her a drunk.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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Melody, you sound a little angry with me. But yes, the bible teaches us to gather with our own kind not unbelievers. Just as the Bible tells not to marry non-believers as we will be unequally yolked. But seriously, my girls have half naked pictures of Usher on their walls. Would you like if your kids did that. Their mother has been shunned from our church the minute she started these divorce proceedings--doesn't that tell you something. And, she pulled them out of their Christian School. There's nothing I can do about that. It's just awful them going to public school. the influences are destroying them.
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Buckeye
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And tell me exactly, who did Jesus gather with - tax collectors, whores, all the rejects of the day. He gathered them all to him unlike you and your church, who deny everyone. Really sad that you even think you are a Christian. Remember, the Bible also states, "judge not that you may also not be judged, AND found lacking".
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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That is true about Jesus but I'm not judging anyone I'm just stating the facts. But when it gets back to my daughters being raised the way they are--there is my problem. I try to remind them about who they are and who they should be when they grow up. But the influences are killing me. If you could see how dedicated my middle daughter is to basketball--that is worshipping an idol. that's all she wants to do. And guess who got her involved with that?????
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Buckeye
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YOU are judging people - you have already said that. You are not really following the example of Jesus. You are using that as an excuse.
You are fighting a losing battle and the more you do, the more you are going to lose them.
Loving basketball is NOT worshipping an idol.
No court is going to let you have custody based on these facts. They might even give you less visitation because they may see you as a kook.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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You can't be serious. She is choosing sports over seeing her dad. Her mom put her up to this and then she just took off with it. Remember, these are kids she is playing with that I do not know!!
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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Heck, as an adult, I would chose sports or ANYTHING rather than visiting you.
You want your child to do WHAT YOU WANT, you are not interested IN HER FRIENDS, you will not even try to be interested IN THE THINGS SHE LIKES. She is 14, while not an adult, she is trying her wings - in 4 years, she will be considered an adult and believe me, she WILL NOT EVER COME TO SEE YOU OR TALK TO YOU, if you don't change.
You need to get some counseling and maybe joint counseling with your child. You can't continue to blame her mother for everything that you don't like. As a matter of fact, this is the type of behavior that will get your visitation reduced because it is considered PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome). You should NEVER say anything bad about the mother - the more you do, the more you will force your child to protect her and she will HATE you.
If you are unwilling to look at your behavior as a major part of this problem, this situation is never going to change. You need to start over and get rid of your judgmental attitude.
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ljnsy
old hand
Reged: 03/08/06
Posts: 857
Loc: NH
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<<<You can't be serious. She is choosing sports over seeing her dad. Her mom put her up to this and then she just took off with it. Remember, these are kids she is playing with that I do not know!!>>>
Ah,some kids actually LIKE sports. What is wrong with your daughter playing sports if she enjoys it? Don't you think it's better than her going out drinking and doing drugs?
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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Have you gone to any of your daughter's games or supported her sports in any way?
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JennyLynn
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Posts: 31656
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I haven't responded b/c it's like talking to a brick wall. I can not stand people with this type of attitude.
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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I know exactly what you mean.
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Tabitha
addict
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 481
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Shawn, You seem to have some serious self-searching to do. What you are doing is pushing your daughters away with your behaviors. That is not what Jesus did. He DREW people to him with his kindness, wisdom, forgiveness and sacrifice. If you want a relationship with your daughters, you need to search yourself and stop blaming anyone/everyone else for your problems.
The fruit of the Spirit are love; joy; peace; patience; kindness; goodness; faithfulness; gentleness; and self-control. Practicing those qualities will be the only way to draw your daughters to you. And remember Shawn, Christians aren't perfect - just forgiven.
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Buckeye
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And actually relating to them on their level. I'm sure Jesus would have been playing basketball with the people if that was what it would have taken to relate to them.
And, he didn't preach at them - he preached to them. Big difference in how the message is received.
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Lucy44
old hand
Reged: 07/11/05
Posts: 874
Loc: Rochester, MN
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This poster smells like a troll or a freak.
Either way, he will not find his answers here.
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Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Wow ---you have a great deal to learn about tolerance. Arguing to a court that the other parent is not a proper parent because she allows the children to hang around with non-Christans, listen to rap music and play sports will more than likely hurt your legal chances than help them. Regardless of your beliefs, it is not mainstream America and not something a court will force on one parent becuase it fits the other parent's belief system.
The fact that mom drinks will have little impact unless you can show that it somehow endangers the children.
If you do not have a lawyer, you should get one. You will need someone to filter your arguments so that they can be presented in an effective way. The way you are presenting them will likely have the opposite effect of the one intended.
Another option may be to shave your head, buy some sneakers, don a purple blanket and wait to catch the UFO that is hiding behind the comet that passes.
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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He has a Christian attorney and has tried now for three years to get custody and believe it or not - nothing is working. Isn't that a shame??? LMAO!!!
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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He wasn't paying attention, his attorney's name is "Christian"
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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Yes I do have a christian attorney. I told him everything three years ago when my wife filed for divorce. My first mistake was to leave the house (but my x lied to me and told me I had to). I told him how she likes to drink wine and how we used to party together before the marriage. Then I found the Lord and told her no more alcohol in the house. If she brought it in, I dumped it down the drain. Then I think she stashed it somewhere. After all this time, it has never been brought into court. My attorney said once that she has a problem with the bottle. That was two years ago and nothing has been done about it. I am currently trying to get a child evaluation done on all the girls (x agreed because she wants her life to go on), and I agreed to pay for all of it and travel and expenses to the physicologist. I'm not sure it's going to work for me. But I want my kids to live under my roof, with my beliefs, not hers.
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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Here was go again with you pushing all the wrong buttons. Believe me, you have lost your wife and you are doing all the right things to lose your chldren. They are going to hate you.
So far, nothing anybody has said has even made a dent. I sure hope that your wife asks for a mental exam for you.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
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"but my x lied to me and told me I had to."
And you believed that without any reflection? That was a large mistake.
"I told him how she likes to drink wine and how we used to party together before the marriage."
Then you can't dress yourself in lilly white garb and suddenly claim superiority. Don't you see that you claims would be met with skepticism. Morover, drinking some wine in 1999 and being an alcoholic are two separate issues. What proof do you have. Are there any DWI's any police calls to the house where someone was intoxicated? If not, yuou either must find some real evidence or realize that your high pedestal perch is far too judgemental.
"I found the Lord and told her no more alcohol in the house."
That is your choice, not hers. You cannot impose your morality on her, particularly if it is not illegal. If her alcohol consumption affects her care of teh children, you may have an issue. Of course, that too requires more than your holier than thou proclamations. I understand and respect your choice (although I have had some fun with it). But thatis YOUR choice. Now there are two households with two parenting styles. You cannot impose your morality on her. That is what you must understand.
"I am currently trying to get a child evaluation done on all the girls."
A good idea. However, you will have to change your approach to the situation to effectively present your argument. Right now, it sounds as if you would likely alienate the other parent if her choices do not match yours. That would work against you in an evaluation.
"But I want my kids to live under my roof, with my beliefs, not hers."
Sorry -- no matter which way you slice it, that will not happen. Both of you will have time and both of you will have your own parenting styles.
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F25Divorced
addict
Reged: 01/03/06
Posts: 575
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Sorry but I wouldnt want to live with you either, They are going to end up resenting you. You seem very controlling and care only about you and not about your kids.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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Sorry about the divorced and "lost" You're lost because you haven't heard the gospel message yet. Get your life together get into a good church. Update, 14 yod still wouldn't come with me this weekend. She said I was annoying and was tired of fighting. Do you think I should bring her into court. I've got to do something. What about talking to her school counselor...I'm trying the child evaluation but it may not go my way.
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youngatheart
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This is the GREAT thing about having two parents. BOTH parents get to teach THEIR beliefs and show their children what they think is right. But, the children then get to make their OWN decisions.
Your wife has as much right to teach secular beliefs as YOU have to teach "christian" beliefs. But, in the end you cannot FORCE anything on the kids. They will make their own decisions.
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youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Heck, *I* want a picture of a half-naked Usher on my wall. ;P
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Loc: This Asylum --->
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Do you mean the musical artist or the guy who seated Shawn at Church?
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kav
old hand
Reged: 06/10/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
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Just curious of how you come to the belief that if you go to "public school" that you are a non believer? I went to public school but believed.....as most children do.
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Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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Kay, As you have probably read I am a believer. So are my kids, my x took them out of a great private school and they are now in public. They are wearing the same low cut jeans as everyone else and are just doing too many secular things. Instead of Bible studies and youth group functions the middle one is playing bbb and softball..she's consumed with it. It interferes with my time with her. It is so frustrating. I know they listed to all the music too. I threw out all the secular music when I found the Lord and vowed that my children would never listen and be influenced by it. Now LOOK. They play the crap when the kids are in the gym. Then Darwin's theory,,,I can't even discuss that right now.
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youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9394
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You know what? I TEACH at a private, christian school. Wanna know what I wore to work on Friday? I wore some low-rise jeans, and a tank top. Wanna know what I did Friday night? I went out dancing (yes, some hip hop) at a club. Wanna know what I did on Sunday? I went to church, and later took one of my students out to lunch. Oh, and I wore capri pants and a tank top to church also.
Sports can be an AMAZING benefit to children. If you would stop for a second and just open your mind, you might see that. Rap or hip hop music can be a great also. We play it in church. I take the kids in my class roller skating, ice skating, to football or basketball games, and bowling. I go watch their pageants and recitals, and sporting events.
You know what? They TRUST me. They TALK to me. And when they are about to do soemthing stupid, or feel that someone is pushing them to cross a line, I'm the FIRST call they make; because they can relate to me, and I can relate to them. Because I don't judge them. You might want to think about that with your own kids.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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You have some real issues. clubbing are you kidding. does your school board know of these activities. you can't be doing stuff like that. I'm surprised you still have a job. Not at our school you wouldn't. I'll be praying for your soul. I don't think you are truly saved.
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youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Posts: 9394
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ROFL...my boss (school administrator) knows exactly where I am at all times, and has offered to pick me up if I ever don't have a ride home.
As far as me being truly saved, who the heck are YOU to judge? Can you see my heart? Can you see anything? No, you can't. Try looking at yourself rather than pointing at other people. YOU can't control other people. YOU can't make ANYONE into who you want them to be. YOU don't have that power, only one person does, and obviously He has different plans that you.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3029
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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What a pompous arrogant a$$ you sound like. And you wonder why your kids don't want to spend time with you?
Music? For teens? Awful, I agree....but have you realized that there are LOADS of Christian and faith based hard rock/heavy metal/alternative groups out there? My son, slightly older than your oldest daughter made me read the lyrics when I complained and I discovered that they were NOT objectionable in the least!!!!!
Playing basketball is worshipping an IDOL? Since when? And what idol? **sorry, had to throw that in**
I was raised a Catholic. My sons are being raised as Catholics. They have friends of ALL denominations as that is the way the world IS. It's not only populated with Christians. Some of my fondest memories growing up were spending the Jewish holidays with my best friend.....they were awesome! They equally took part in our Christmas traditions.
And when did people stop being Christians because they don't go to YOUR church? Yours is the only Christian church there is? And wanting them to grow up to be **good Christian wives** that **submit** to their husbands......what PLANET are you from?
On another board, you stated that your wife bought movies and hid them from you....so WHAT?! You have a witness that saw her drink wine at a party in 1999? To quote the people I work for **is that the best you can come up with?** H@ll, I had TWO drinks with dinner last week......look out Satan, I'm on the way!!!!!!
My point is that there is always a point where there is too much of a good thing. I think you passed this point a LONG LONG time ago.
Your children don't want to see you because you want them to be what you think they should be instead of being who they are. If I did that to my children, I would have never known that my younger son has a wicked funny sense of humor and my older one has a huge compassionate heart -- how could I learn anything about them when my entire existence was focused on making them fit into a premade mold?
I'll take a shot and say that your wife breathed a HUGE sigh of relief when she watched your back go down the sidewalk....and then waited eagerly for the locksmith to change the door locks!!!!!!
If you are unwilling to compromise, you will lose your daughters, sir. That would be a huge loss....and one I wouldn't take a chance on.
The others are right -- YOU are the problem. And say, can I get your ex-wife's e-mail address so I can send her your rantings? They should make her day during the next court battle you have -- and push the point scale way over on her side.
She wants your daughters to have a normal life -- based on your posts, I think she's doing a great job.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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you are right..the witch did have the locks changed to the house that I helped build for her and the kids. I think she was plotting the divorce for a while. How evil is that? My church brothers were the contractors and all she did after we moved in was complain. Now she has the house until the youngest is 18. She got a dog and it going to the bathroom all over. She says its just getting potty trained.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Was she ordered to have occupancy of the house? If so, changing the locks would be the next logical thing to do. It should not have been a surprise.
How were you able to determine the locks were changed? Did she tell you or did you try them when you should not have?
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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Good question. She didn't get occupancy of the house until three months later. She lied to me and told me I had to leave the house and put my personal belongings on the front porch. I tried my key and realized it didn't work. She also took my spare key to the family vehicle and the mailbox key right off my keychain. She and her attorney really messed with me and it wasn't even legal. She also transferred money from my savings into her checking account to pay for her attorney's retainer fee. thinks she nice now????????
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Stacey1995
old hand
Reged: 06/15/05
Posts: 919
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nice..never met her but she is smart.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
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Actually, once you move out, all of that is fairly standard. In fact, it is the advice that 90% of the attorney's out there would have given a person in the same place. I can just imagine how shocker her attorney was that you moved out that easy.
THe payment from teh account is also not unusual. It is the same advice I would give.
Is it nice? No.
Divorce is not nice and anyone who makes a mistake like you did would be ticked off. That's just the way it goes.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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Yea stacey,. you'd probably get along great with her..you drink too???
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Stacey1995
old hand
Reged: 06/15/05
Posts: 919
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Like an F*UCKING FISH. Im raing a glass to ya Shawnmc.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Shawn--I am not sure why you are criticizing Stacey, you are the one that didn't consult with counsel and moved out. If you want to lay blame, try a mirror.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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I am not critizing her she just sounds like life isn't going to well for her..maybe I can help someone. See what Kay says
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
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LOL
Yeah--sounds like you are all about help. No offense, but you aren't winning any friends here. You are Judgemental, holier than though, condescending, and about ten steps right of center.
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Posts: 7857
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Wonder what his attorney is going to think about the letter to the judge and also the stalking that he is having the church member do?
If I was that attorney, I would quit.
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Stacey1995
old hand
Reged: 06/15/05
Posts: 919
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I would have never taken him as a client to begin with. I am sure his wonderful personality came thru on the first meeting.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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How can I reach them The middle 12 year old is in San francisco right now. It is tearing me up. Can you imagine what she has seen. Gays...drugs and alcohol. What should I do.???
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Pick up a boyfriend, drop some acid and wash it down with Jack Daniels, while you pack the moving van for San Francisco.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3029
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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Nice? I think she might be a nice person, but never having met her, I'll reserve judgement.
Did she plan this divorce in advance? Sounds like it....smart lady. You NEVER would have gone if she hadn't planned it.
You sound like every self righteous, overly pious, everything in the name of religion crackpot I've ever encountered. And with what I do for a living, I definitely encounter a few.
Took the keys right off your key ring, hmm? Too busy worrying about your image with the church to notice? I'd notice if my keys had been lifted, that's for sure.
Low cut jeans? I wear them also.....and I have a top cool rating from my children and their friends, who they bring to my house all the time.
Your unyielding, rigid, my way is the only RIGHT way is going to cost you your children -- I don't know of anything that's worth that.
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katiefedup
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Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 11669
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My friend you have already been called out as a troll on other boards. Why do you keep this game up pretending that you are a concerned father. We have all figured out that you post as a mother AND a father. Go get a life!
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nrvouswrk
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
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Shawn, I am new to this site, and have been reading your posts for the last few days. Do you have a brother in California? If so, I think I use to be married to him. You appear to be doing the same thing to your 14 year old daughter that my ex is doing to my 14 year old son (minus the religious angle),with the exact same results. He also refuses to see his father. Here is the bottom line for you..We love who we love...You can't force your ex-wife and kids to love you if you have not given them reason to. Trying to control all aspects of their lives is the surest way to make sure they don't. In addition to regulating the music they listen to, do you also censor their reading material and television shows? Have you ever considered joining a group process class that deals with parenting and divorce to get some added insight as to why your family might possibly feel the way they do about you? You just might discover that if you back off, the kids might want to be around you again. I am curious...what is the church you belong to?
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Here's one for you Shawn...
"Expectations will kill you..."
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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I belong to a bible based christian fundamentist churh we proclaim the word of God
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Loc: This Asylum --->
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LOL
Yeah--you are all about God. All I know is that they say we all spring from apes but, from what I can tell, you didn't spring far enough.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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YOU ARE A TOTALLY IDIOT..YOU SAY THE STUPIST [censored] AND PEOPLE LISTEN TO U..DO YA STILL THINK IT IS THE BADGE CRAP BECAUSE YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE MUCH TO TELL..THE JOKES ARE REALLY STUPID..DO YOU EVEN HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMSA?
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
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A brilliant retort. How long did it take to craft? I imagine that you were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.
By the way high schul Gradeate. "DIPLOMSA"s not a word I can locate. Did you have a vowel movement in public?
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okgirl25
addict
Reged: 03/30/06
Posts: 623
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No but I bet he has a Diploma!
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shawnmc
member
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Posts: 139
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you are soooo stupid..bassssterd
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
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Clever. And very Christian. Where exactly can I find that quote in the bible? Or were you too busy holding it and crying what a Christian you were to actually open it?
Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?
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MamaKitty
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/30/06
Posts: 1632
Loc: California
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People listen to maury because he is clever, insightful, has a lot of experience and good advice. He is also even-tempered and knows how to write without sounding like a vally-girl teenybopper.... It's all like-andthen she was all like, so I was all like...
It would be different if you were 'pounching' (hehe) some other less-than-intelligent guy on these boards, but you're talking about MAURY.
Is it all about the badge? Hmmm... don't know. I had never given it a thought that posting an avatar would be so respect-enhancing. If you bothered to read anything he's ever written, you'd know why he has that avatar. Just proving yourself idiotic again, as usual.
c
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okgirl25
addict
Reged: 03/30/06
Posts: 623
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I personally admire and respect that much more FOR having the Avatar.....but I know what it means too that's why.
As for Shawn, he doesn't care is why he doesn't know...he's here for the entertainment of it all because sitting on his computer harassing strangers on a Divorce website is SOOOOO much fun didn't you know?!
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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why would you say I'm harassing anyone? that seems so unfair.
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okgirl25
addict
Reged: 03/30/06
Posts: 623
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you prefer 'annoying' then????
Cause that's what you're doing!
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KiwiGirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State
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Maury's avatar is a sign of respect for his brother who was in the police force wh died of a sudden heart attack a little while ago. SO now Mr Non Judgemental... how about that?
You could give my ex lessons on how to get your own way. The thing is people are not robots that go by what you say. Now attend your church, find a new compliant wife inside your particular denomination and start again. After all, these kids and ex of yours are a lost cause so why soil your hands with them?
One day you will meet your Maker. And just like the non appearance of the 70 virgins waiting for Muslims I think youw ill be surprised at the questions you will face and have to account for.
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If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem
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Angelmine
recently joined
Reged: 05/25/06
Posts: 13
Loc: oklahoma
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wow that was an interesting read. Shawn they all have a point you are pushing those girls away. wanting them to grow up beleiveing in god is good my girl is 3 and i am slowly introducing god to her.
you cant force something on somone weather it is beer drugs sex OR god. if you actually sat down ad talked with these kids i am sure you would find out that they do love and beleive in god and even if they dont they are young they still have time to find out what they want to believe.
You obviously love your kids and want what you think is best for them but as a mother myself i am begining to see that what we want may not always be best.
as for the posters and music and friends well i like them all i love all types of music and that poster is just art when i look at christian art i see naked people like the angels. and i have all kinds of differnt friends they are all great.
anyway all i wanted to say was give them time to grow up and become independant women (because face man that is about the only way they are gonna survive this life) and make up their own mind and slow down other wise they want be around you to see what kind of women they turn out to be or any grandkids they may bring into this world.
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