UncertainSpouse
recently joined
Reged: 06/29/10
Posts: 2
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Spouse and I are nearing 1 year of seperation (not legal seperation) in same house. She moved to guest room, and has refused to look for a job until recently. She was employed for the 1st 10yr of the 14yrs being married. We have 1 child 12 yrs old. I was trying to be the nice guy and continue support. I have been paying all bills (mtg, insurance, etc..) However she continued to refuse to find employment. Can I obtain either in divorce settlement or by a law suit reimbursement for any expenses?
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Contour
newbie
Reged: 06/26/10
Posts: 41
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If the separation or divorce is not legal, or more like, filed...
Then really you don't have a leg to stand on, and as far as CS, that is normally ordered ONLY after divorce or legal separation, probably would have to be physical separation too.
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d2njti
member
Reged: 03/05/08
Posts: 187
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"Spouse and I are nearing 1 year of seperation (not legal seperation) in same house." Meaning you are a married couple who are jointly responsible for their expenses. No, you can't be reimbursed for the last year of marriage nor the 13 before that. Nothing changes until you file.
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UncertainSpouse
recently joined
Reged: 06/29/10
Posts: 2
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Thank you for your input. I don't thinks that's fair. Especially if in the divorce she get's 50% of the equity of the home and chose to leave the marital bedroom. Why is it that "entitlement" is one sided? So I pay twice in a way, one for the mtg in both names, I can't tell the bank here's my 50% ask her for her portion. Then I need give her 50% of the equity.
No reason to reply there's no answer for these retorical questions. I am still going to attempt to reclaim it.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3028
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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Hate to run this by you but in the eyes of the law you are NOT nearing the end of a one year separation -- you are still living together as man and wife, absent sexual activity.
You say that she's refused to work? Who paid the bills? If you WERE separated and one of you didn't live there, how would her bills get paid? Not your issue in that circumstance.
You HAVE no court ordered support, therefore everything that you've paid, even if you were physically separated, would be considered a gift.
I mean, go for it but I'm thinking you're not going to get anything out of it. If you were physically separated and continued paying the mortgage note in BOTH names, you wouldn't get that back either.
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BarbaraSD
newbie
Reged: 07/09/10
Posts: 36
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If you are in the same house as usual, you have probably done nothing towards a separation in the eyes of the law. I believe if you separate the house/separate area/entrance type of thing, it might work. If you are looking for legal answers but not ready to get a lawyer, see
[censored]://centenniallawoffices.com/Pro%20Per.html
This law office provides help to self-represented people, quick legal questions, etc. Good luck.
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english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
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"You HAVE no court ordered support, therefore everything that you've paid, even if you were physically separated, would be considered a gift."
Beach, can you point me toward a law or some reference so I can read about this?
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3028
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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English, the only thing I can say for certain is that if a court doesn't order it, then you don't have to pay it.
The converse is true -- if you choose to give NON court ordered money that it's a gift. I'll have to nose around in the DCSE statutes and see where I can find that.
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english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
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Thank you, Beach. I'm still working on my divorce settlement. STBX is claiming all kinds of things that I'm pretty sure are not right.
Maybe the problem word is "gift." My hubby is considering what he did for me prior to separation and after as support ,even though I have proof that a good portion of it was paid off prior to my physically leaving--and subtracting that from any spousal support I might get. The lawyers (mine included) are just going with what he says.
But I think my situation is different from the OP.
I'm scanning VA Legislative code, and I've found a few areas that I can argue.
Right now, I'm trying to determine what the legal "date of separation" is as pertains to assets and debts. From what I've read, it is the date of physical separation AND when one of the parties considers the marriage over--not just when one left. I fled domestic assault. I did not decide to divorce until one month later, which will make a pretty big difference in marital debt assessment.
I have a lawyer, but I'm finding that he and the judge are so biased in favor of "military guys" as my layer put it, and "not in favor of women" that I have to do what I can to get the facts.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3028
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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I so wish you could afford Cathy Crinick, english -- she'd clean his clock if it needed to be cleaned, I assure you.
Nothing impresses her, not the military, not games, not NOTHING and she's a true lady killer in the court room. Loads of folks in NN have used her with great results.
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english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
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I wish I could afford her, too. But even if I could, I might still get stuck with this clearly biased judge. My lawyer admits he is biased but can't do anything about it???
I'm stuck with trying my best to learn the laws so I can argue in my defense. It probably won't get me anywhere, but I will still try.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"I'm stuck with trying my best to learn the laws so I can argue in my defense. It probably won't get me anywhere, but I will still try. "
Isn't that why you have a lawyer?
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