myheart
enthusiast
Reged: 05/21/09
Posts: 213
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Last weekend, our common friend has invited me and stbx. friend told me, if I come, I am coming on my own risk of awkwardness etc.... I have not seen or talked to stbx since we split 9 months ago, on his request.... So I refused to go, not to get in to in awkward situation, plus everybody is watching us and our actions, like putting yourself on display. By knowinf he will not like it either. Now one of the freind otld me, he was offered same thing, and he said I have no problem if she comes.
I am totally confused, what is going on here, one side he told me we should meet and talk, because we need to HEAL. And other side he says others oh he has no problem, what is he trying to do, telling people he is so cool about it, when his behaviour so cruel and mean with me.
Is he again trying to show his good face to others, or ?????
My kid is missing his kid, they have not seen each other since the time of separation, because stbx wanted this way, he laid down the rules about how are we going to behave, after we split..
Is it fair for my kid not ot have anything wiht his kid, just because stbx is a crazy person????
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myheart
enthusiast
Reged: 05/21/09
Posts: 213
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"I am totally confused, what is going on here, one side he told me we should meet and talk, because we need to HEAL. "
actually is
"I am totally confused, what is going on here, one side he told me we should not meet and talk, because we need to HEAL. "
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fossilman
newbie
Reged: 10/25/09
Posts: 27
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Go if you want. It's not a contest to see who can act like they dont care the most. Have fun, but if you can't, then dont go. There is no time frame on how long it takes to get over it. If you still cant stand to be near him, then stay home and take you kid to a movie.
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namrata123
recently joined
Reged: 02/10/10
Posts: 17
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Hi,
Yes its true that a kind of awkwardness is always there after divorce and that issue makes you coward from heart and you cant enjoy the place where you are.
Thanks
williedasherlaw.com
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myheart
enthusiast
Reged: 05/21/09
Posts: 213
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Sorry to write again. So stbx has now like suddenly woke up from a many months of sleep, he sent me an email asking how am I doing. I have to not responded it and have no plan to. Because for last many many months since we split, I went through many hardship, not once this person ever asked me how am I doing, now finally I am putting my life back together, he wants to know how am I doing. It truly disturbed me, I was totally confused again.. But I think I did the right thing not responding, because, finally i have learned to live without this person and finally seeing some joy in my life, even thought of being freindly with him brings many hurt to surface.... His heartless at so far..
Please do provide your input.
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philsbs
recently joined
Reged: 04/07/10
Posts: 1
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My stbx did the same thing. She started emailing asking how I was, how the children were (she won't communicate directly with them) almost every day. I fell for it thinking she had a change of heart, only to find out she was just using me. I hit bottom hard again. Since I have found that the only way to move on is to have no contact. It is helping, but after 30 yrs of marriage its going to be tough. Maybe down the road things will change.
Good luck and best wishes.
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mom5
newbie
Reged: 03/16/10
Posts: 26
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My ex did the same thing for years, he would call and ask how I was doing, how the kids were doing and say that he loves us and all because he was trying to soften me up for the divorce papers he was drawing up. I would advice you not to respond, it is confusing and hurts you all over again. It sounds to me that you have gone on with your life and seem to be happy, keep it that way and don't bring back the past. It also confuses the kids into thinking that you and him will be back together and it hurts them all over again. You are doing the right thing!
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myheart
enthusiast
Reged: 05/21/09
Posts: 213
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Things have changed since I wrote last time, now stbx wants reconcillation, our divorce was supposed to be finalized by end of this month... It is very confusing, yes I still love him and cares about him and us, but too many things happend which broke us apart... A lot to go through and a lot to see....
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mom5
newbie
Reged: 03/16/10
Posts: 26
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Take time and think things through dont rush into anything without seeing his true colors. If he truelly wants to reconcile then he wil wait!
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mom5
newbie
Reged: 03/16/10
Posts: 26
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And again if you have any reservations as if this will works then stay away, the kids will get hurt again!
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