Magistrate
recently joined
Reged: 05/30/06
Posts: 3
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My wife and I have been married for 13 years have 2 children 6 and 12. 4 months ago she started to behave strange around me and also my neighbour who was a close friend and co-worker. We bought our place 7 years ago. And my neighbour been living there the same time. Well when I questioned her about what was going on she denied it and told me that I was imagining things. Finally we got into a fight and she asked me to leave. When I came back in the morn she told me that she loved me but was not in love anymore.
(Should have left here) about a month after I get a call from his wife asking what was going on with her husband and my wife. I had a feeling but nothing substantial. Finally my wife admitted to an emtional affair. And she wanted me back into her life.(First try lasted 2 days) After I calm her down and got her back on her feet.(Emotionally disturbed) She went right back at it. 2 weeks later she comes back asked again.(2nd try lasted 5 days) Then right back at it. 2 weeks goes by and she come back sobbing and saying final chance I screwed up, now its a emotional and physical affair(3rd try last 7days) This time she slept for 3 days almost straight exhausted emotionally. Finally I'm done. But again 2 weeks later she asked me back this time she wanted the marriage to work asked me back into the home.(4th time) Said it was done. She contacted a counsellor, read self help books with me. Brutally honest with everything I asked. Then 2 weeks into it she started to slow down. 3rd week I catch her with the tp in her van 10 min b4 counselling. She promised me no contact. Then 4 days later she tells me she's been talkin to him for 2 days now. Her conversations still continue. BTW I am being charge by the tp for assault(1 punch), uttering threats, mischief(car window). And he has 3 kids. Finally I tell her I have had enough you need to to end it or end our marriage. 2 days ago she said it over. But I still want you to stay in our home. I don't want you to move away. I promise I will only talk to him I will not see him or have any physical contact as long as you stay in the home. Today I left work early to go for a walk in the park 5 miles from home. I pull into the park and there she is with the tp cuddling by the lake. She has broken my trust. Now she wants to end our marriage. But she also wants me to stay wow. What the crap is going on in her head. Should I move back out?
Hurt and Confused....
Magistrate
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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Uh..in a word....YES!!!!
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Your relationship with your wife may be broken. Your relationship with your children is not.
If you intend to seek custody, you should not move out. It can be devastating to any custody case since the home is seen as a point of stability for the children.
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Muad_Dib
member
Reged: 10/25/05
Posts: 199
Loc: Oregon
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Susan favors you moving out because that will allow your wife to get the checks from you, but have you out of her hair so she can work with the new stud. It is really a perfect situation for her, she will have the same house, same dough, and you take the kids when she wants time with the new guy.
Where you take the kids is a tiny cracker box apartment where you play cards 'cause you can't afford cable TV what with the alimony and child support payments.
I'm currently dating a women with two kids, and it is a sweet deal. Problem is for me to pretend I don't care that her whole life situation is subsidized by the absent hubby. As long as the sex is good, I kinda have to stay in...
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One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null word.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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No...tell her to not let the door hit HER in the ass on the way out.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Debbie_L
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/06/05
Posts: 2031
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Lot's of women get absolutely nothing from their exes mud dab. You really need to stop with the sweeping generalizations.
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focusedon2
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/10/05
Posts: 2136
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I don't think it's strange. I think it's typical behavior for people caught up in an affair. As long as it's illicit, it's a terrible, exciting attraction for them. Like a drug. Or at least that's what I've been told. Her "fix" is tearing you down.
It's also typical for her to "want her cake and eat it to".
You should not move out. She should. Tell her to move in with her next door neighbor.
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Magistrate
recently joined
Reged: 05/30/06
Posts: 3
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focusedon2,
Thank you for being the sensible person to reply. I love my wife dearly more than she will ever know. True Love is when you love someone so much you give everything and expect nothing in return. But a fool would do the same. It has finally come to a point where she is nearing bottom. Her affair has been exposed for 2 month now. And the neighbours wife just found out 4 days ago that her husband is still contacting my wife. Which I have know for 2 weeks my wife tells me everything that happens. So the tp wife kicked him out. That day my wife became distrought and started to pace. Worried about her bf. She had not been able to contact him for 2 days and he started to become suicidal once again. His suicidal tendencies have been back and forth for 2 months now. The tp brother contacted my wife and told her what he has been saying to his family and wife. Which is a lie and blaming my wife about the contact. Well my wife is deeply hurt over this. But I asked her does that surprise you? Your relatioship started from lies and now is consumed by lies. She will probably contact him in the near future and she will get sucked back in. Its been like that for a 3 months. I wont be able to handle it again. And will leave once that occurs. I am currently here now as a friend capacity. I want to make sure she is stable and my kids ready for the news of separation. Once that is completed I can leave and start a new life.
But until then I will give til I have nothing left or my sanity is in jeopordy then I will have no choice but to leave.
Magistrate
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forthekidz
veteran
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 1383
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NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Do not leave!!!!! YOU need to stay in the home and be the stable one for your children. I know you are hurt, but think of them!!! Especially the 12 year old...he/she must know what is going on!!!!!!!
Tell your wife SHE needs to leave. She is the one who did this to your family, NOT YOU!!!!!! If you leave, you will end up with a crappy every other weekend schedule with your kids and they will be in the care of a woman who is only thinking of herself!!!!
STAY IN THE HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Magistrate
recently joined
Reged: 05/30/06
Posts: 3
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I guess the time has come to move on. My D-Day fathers day has came and gone. My wife and I have been aruing more and more starting last week. We are at a point of no return and I feel sad to say that the our relationship is irreconcilable. Our friendship is now on the line. And today we started to talk about court and lawyers. This situation has come to a close. I have told my wife that I will be leaving in 3 days. I asked her one last thing as her husband to try to be a loving wife for these last days I live at our home. Unfortunately she can't do that she says. I only wanted these last day with no fighting and no deep conversation about her affair or money. That way I could leave with good memories. And some respect and honour. I wish things were different but their not. I'm not perfect and I only hope that my children with make it through this with minimal damage.
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