Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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Greeneyes your scenario makes LITTLE sense if he is trying to keep it EQUAL for BOTH children. If he contributes HALF of the children's expenses that is keeping it equal. Cincsu (since she makes good money) contributes the other half for THEIR child. The BM (her SS's MOM) would contribute a half for her child.
It would NOT be equal if Dad contributed 100 percent to first child's college, but only 1/2 to second child.
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PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
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This is why, even with an intact family. when you have child #1, you have to seriously think about having child #2 if you plan on saving for college for BOTH. At least, that's how I see it.
Maybe that's why my parents chose to pay for NONE of their eight children to go to college. If they couldn't pay for #8, it wouldn't be fair to pay for #1.
I dunno. Just a thought.
Regardless, none of us are impoverished and the majority completed higher education without much problem.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey
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cincsu
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4686
Loc: residence in AZ, case in CA
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either that or you decide you will pay for 1/2 of each or contribute equally where you can to both.
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wife of 1, mother of 2, stepmother of .3475902453
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matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
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your arguement to Sadie's example makes no sense.
my husband's ex and him have 2 children - my husband and I have 2 children....what I spend my money on my children have no impact on their children if his money is not used.
his ex receives child support that is his portion of taking care of their children. she can blow it on bubble gum or save some for college.
her choices for their children's college education is her decision.
my chioces for my children's education is my decision.
same father but it all depends on how you want to spend your money.
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Life is a long lesson in humility.
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cincsu
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4686
Loc: residence in AZ, case in CA
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it isn't dad creating the problem if he is contributing equally to both of his children......
it isn't me creating the problem by contributing for my child: not all children get the same things as their cousins and friends.
it isn't BM creating the problem b/c she isn't obligated to pay for her child's college...
he should be grateful if 1/2 of his college is taken care of by anyone because at 18 all parental obligations end whether it is mom or dad.
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wife of 1, mother of 2, stepmother of .3475902453
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cincsu
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4686
Loc: residence in AZ, case in CA
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and if DH can't contribute towards SS's college then he won't contribute towards D's college either...but i will contribute toward D's college. so it is either both get 1/2 from DH and D get's 1/2 from me or both get nothing from DH and D gets 1/2 from me.... or they both get 0.5, 0.10, 0.15, 0.2 from DH and i contribute what i want to my D....
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wife of 1, mother of 2, stepmother of .3475902453
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1966Gal
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Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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it isn't dad creating the problem if he is contributing equally to both of his children......
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I agree with that...AS LONG AS dad is contributing equally to both kids college.
Once kids are teens, it's not hard for them to understand.
Dad and mom send their son to college with their combined resources.
Dad and Cin send their daughter to college with their combined resources.
As long as dad has contributed equally to both kids, then it's fair.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Redlegg
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Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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I am sorry, to not send someone to jail because it means they would not support their child is pointless and does not make sense. Why is it that not supporting a child can get you sent to jail, but you should not send someone to jail because they then can't support their child. You are sending them to jail for not supporting their child, its a hard world out there and I hate it for the children, but people are sent to jail everyday for crimes they commit and they don't care about their children getting supported, so to send someone to jail for not supporting their child just meant that they didn't care when they could support them, and they won't care after they go to jail. Me personally, I would save for my stepkids just like I would my kids, if they were no longer my stepkids, then they do not get my support. While in my care, they are equal. I cannot even begin to control what someone else's parents do, but I would make every child in my house feel like they are home. There is no legitimate argument for not getting child support, the threats are empty, the person not forced to pay is playing on the emotion of the people involved. They are users, life is tough, get over it, and live up to your obligations. This has no gender intent, but dammit, man up and pay your bills or go to jail.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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Lets show you some BASIC math.
College costs sould be SPLIT between the parents. If the the son is mad that Dad is only paying HALF of college, MAYBE he should ask MOM why sHE isn't contributing...
Oh yeah, Moms can't be WRONG, can they? You are so biased it's sickening!
Oh, BTW, I hope YOU haven't had sex with more than ONE man in your whole life, cause if so, you CHANCED creating children with two different men...
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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cincsu
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4686
Loc: residence in AZ, case in CA
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while i agree with you for the most part on saving equally...i think we will spend equally college is a huge expense. DH is paying a lot towards SS via CS that my daughter will never see. he sends SS $300/week when he is with his mom, plus we provide housing, etc. for him that will also be provided for D when she arrives. she'll probably have a few more clothes, toys and obviously food at hour house since she will be with us more than SS....but not to the tune of $300/week.
so, when it comes to college, i fully expect BM to be able to contribute some to her child considering she has received so much help to raise SS all these years.
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wife of 1, mother of 2, stepmother of .3475902453
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