matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
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Gr8dad's initial or following posts stated nothing of the sort pertaining to money - he is feeling a little irritated and hurt for the simple matter that when he and g8mom decided to merge the 2 households and become 1 family - they created rules for all children to abide by for a simple situation of fairness.....these were rules that his children had to abide by and her children had to abide by.
he is apparently still involved in gr8mom's children's lives or else he wouldn't know that the rules they both created that were supposed to make all the kids equal are now be broken.
he knows as well as everyone else that she can do what she wants as they are no longer together but it does not erase the foundation of how they had put together their family.
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Life is a long lesson in humility.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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Why do they have to "cut a check" if they love them? My parents haven't cut me a check in quite some time, I am pretty sure they still love me though. Maybe I better check.... In all seriousness - no check would make up for the listening ear my mother provides on a daily basis. So I am very grateful that she doesn't feel that way.
And frankly - there is quite the difference in refusing to finance the other parent's support of your child and refusing to support your ex stepchild period. I don't doubt if those kids needed anything and they asked gr8dad for help - he'd be there in a second. And that - is loving them like his own.
And no where did I hear him say he wanted her to enforce "his" rules; he was commenting on how she is no longer enforcing "her" rules - when he agreed to enforce "her" rules on "his" kids while they were married. Got it?
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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...that those were not MY rules, they were OUR rules, with a MAJORITY of them being from her (but I agreed , so I will not shirk the responsibility).
Bottom line, she is HURTING my kids, and making me look like I ALLOWED it. I had to tell MY oldest daughter that she could not get her belly button pierced, because the house rules were 16. Exgr8Mom and I agreed on that. Then here comes 14 year ol 'sister' with a pierced belly button. My oldest son was told no cell phone till your 15.5, then here comes his 13 year old 'brother' with a new cell phone.
So you can rant all you want about it being about MONEY, but it ISN'T, it is about a woman who made ruls in OUR home that benefitted HER kids, took things AWAY from MY kids, and then when she moved out, all the "rules" went out the window, and now MY kids think I was the one who came up wit those rules. It is an INTENTIONAL move to make me look bad, in the eyes of MY kids AND hers.
Am I cutting her a check each month? NO. Because she left me in a financial PIT, living a lifestyle of a couple with a combined income of over 100K, then she bails with half the income. I am slowly reeling back on the extras (I hadn't told anyone here, but I sold my Harley, it was an extra, I couldn't afford it, it went) and getting to within my means, while she spends a week in Florida with HER kids (NO offer to MY kids to go with, was there, but in YOUR eyes, MOMMY doesn't HAVE any responsibility, right?)
And if you WANt to make it about money, how about bouncing any "debit" against the FOUR AND HALF years I supported her kids when her ex paid NOTHING? How about the YEARS when she didn't work and I supported this house ALONE? Of the surgery that GAVE her the "New and Improved" Exgr8Mom look? You get pissed off when you are asked to pay for half a tire cause your ex was driving the car. I paid for a WIFE that SOMEBODY ELSE now gets to play with.
{end of rant, that felt good}
As for equating mone with love, I pray that your ex never loses his job, cause you would be telling your daughter that because Daddy doesn't send me any money, I guess he doesn't LOVE you anymore.
You are a SICK SICK woman, Susan.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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Bottom line, she is HURTING my kids, and making me look like I ALLOWED it. I had to tell MY oldest daughter that she could not get her belly button pierced, because the house rules were 16. Exgr8Mom and I agreed on that. Then here comes 14 year ol 'sister' with a pierced belly button. My oldest son was told no cell phone till your 15.5, then here comes his 13 year old 'brother' with a new cell phone.
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That's so f-ing ridiculous, it's insane. What's so hard about this...your kid is 16+, NOT TWO. You simply say "I don't know what's going on in her house, but when we were together, these are the rules we agreed on at that time."
It's not hard for a 16 yo to figure out...it's not rocket science. What does it really MATTER what she's doing now. Even if they were "your" rules, why do you care? They are good rules, so stand by them, own them, insist on them and move on.
It's not "hurting" your kids to have to live by different rules than their "EX" stepsibs are living by.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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"I am entitled to feel a little betrayed."
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Yes you are. It's sad, but it just shows you her true colors and you should be thankful she's gr8ex instead of gr8mom.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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Sorry, I didn't see anything about money until Gal brought it up.
I also didn't see where he wanted to enforce the rules, only that he was twirked that the rules SHE wanted were no longer applying. No harm in feeling betrayed.
But to each his own...
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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"It is an INTENTIONAL move to make me look bad, in the eyes of MY kids AND hers."
________________________________________________________
Yup, ITA.
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RJ1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/19/05
Posts: 5164
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I tend to disagree but I don't know this family. I don't think exgr8mom just sits around inventing things to hurt you as you seem to think. When I move on...I REALLY move on and won't think one iota about the person I left. But I don't know her. You all are not together any longer so I'm not sure why it bothers you so much. You agreed with the rules when they were set...just enforce them as your own since they were initially yours and hers meaning it was yours as well since you agreed with them.
RJ
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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Come on SSmom. Let's look at Gr8dad's personality and his need for control. Do you really think most of these rules came from her? Doubtful. They were most likely his rules and he's irked that she is now rid of him and raising her kids and running her life by HER rules instead of his.
She doesn't have to do what he says anymore. She doesn't have to appease him anymore. His rules don't apply to her or her kids anymore. And he's irked because he's no longer in control.
Personally, I see NOTHING wrong with a 16 yo having a belly piercing or a 14 yo having a cell phone. The s ex, yeah, something very wrong with that, but again, he's stepped out of that fathering role to these kids, so, again, out of his control.
He fails to recognize his role in establishing the "rules" to start with...she might not have ever agreed with him, but went with it since he's obviously the dominate personality in the relationship.
As for his kids being "hurt". BS. His kids are no strangers to divorce and differences in parenting styles after divorce.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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I don't know Gr8dad nor do I know his personality...I don't need to spend time analyzing his past posts to know he's felt betrayed by his ex. That entire post was full of assumptions and you know what they do. Maybe you should just remove your teeth from his rear end and move on if you don't agree with him feeling betrayed. That's what we're dealing with here. A man who's going through a divorce who feels a little betrayed.
Again, it's just my opinions. We just happen to disagree here.
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