BB1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 8051
Loc: MD
|
|
I've never really had a chance to get to know my SO's kids so my answer is no, I don't love them like my own. I can't honestly say I love them at all because I do not have any interaction with his daughter and minimal (1x a year, if that) with his son.
No, I wouldn't pay child support for a SK or expect it from anyone other than the bio-dad.
--------------------
It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
|
KentuckySm
old hand
Reged: 07/06/07
Posts: 773
|
|
I say I love my stepkids like my own. Almost always have. I have known them all since birth. But with that being said I don't have children of my own to compare the feelings too. Do you all ever physically hurt when you miss your kids? My SO and I went on a 5 day fishing trip to Florida and by the 3rd day we both missed the boys so bad it hurt. Could not wait to get home. Monday through Thursday are very sad times for me.. I actually don't know what to do with myself til the boys come home.
--------------------
Pick your battles.
|
JRS
old hand
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 827
|
|
I love them - it falls somewhere between niece/nephew love and bio kid love. I wouldn't say 'like my own', but I still love them a lot. I care for their well being, I'd die protecting them, I enjoy their successes and kissing their booboos. Once upon a time I would have claimed 'like my own' but as they grow (and I do) and we are finding our 'niches' in each others lives I'm realizing it's NOT that way, and more importantly it doesn't HAVE to be that way.
|
1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
|
|
I agree with that. I do love my stepdaughter. But in no way like my own children. I love her like I love my neices and nephews. I would never want to lose touch with her if H died or we divorced. I'd always want to know how she was, how her life was going. I care about her very much. But again, the feelings aren't anything close to how I feel about my own kids.
--------------------
The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
|
Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
|
|
I'd say my kids SM loves them like her own. There is a big difference in age between them and her son so that could be part of the reason, but she does everything she can for them. Definitely as much as she does her grandaughter.
I've never had skids, but I think I can say I loved my xSO's kids like my own. I was heart broken when we broke up not only because I lost him but also because I lost the kids. He ripped half my family away from me. My 10yo still keep a picture of her and his son on her dresser and there are pics hanging on our wall from Disney with his kids in them. I stayed in touch with his daughter (who was 17 at the time) for awhile but it became awkward because I didn't want to put her in between me and her dad (it was NOT a good breakup). I can still say I love them even though I haven't seen them in almost 3 years. My heart aches just typing this.
--------------------
When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
|
lovinmykids
old hand
Reged: 01/10/08
Posts: 868
|
|
I love my stepson just like he is my own. I met him when he was 2 days old and have been a constant in his life since. Watching him grow is like watching one of my bio kids grow.
Apparently his mom doesn't love him so I do it for her. It's easy!
|
2ndwife4longtime
recently joined
Reged: 06/20/08
Posts: 6
|
|
I haven't posted here a lot. Kind of new. Have 14yr old step daughter and 8 yr old step daughter. Also have 2 sons. Hubby and I have none together. I have been apart of sd's lives for about 6 - 7 yrs now. I came face to face with this actual question this weekend.
We let sd 14 go stay the night with a friend Sat. night. We know her and her parents very well. They went 4-wheeler riding. Sd 14 got thrown off. The boy she was riding with tried to stop and swerve out of the way suddenly when the 4-wheeler in front of them stopped all of a sudden. Thankfully we are not burying her. But d*** near. She has road rash from head to toe (they were riding on paths in the woods, but were getting ready to cross a road). She has a bad concussion. She did not stop puking till Sunday night. She broke her maxillary (near cheek bone) and has a deforimty (possibly fracture of the lower orbit of her eye). I am a nurse so we took her to the hosp I work at.
I held it together fine at the hosp, when we got home, and all day sunday. Her mom came to see her (we have them all week). I did well with that, even when mom was wanting to cry. Luckily her mom, sdad, hubby, and I get along pretty well so it was easy to let mom hang out with her for a while. Mom was not even upset when we didn't call her from hosp. She has a 3yr old in a leg cast and an infant. It takes the two of them (her and her hubby) to take care of them at night (3yr old can't walk with cast on and mom can't lift him b/c he is too heavy). So both of them have to be around at night in case both kids wake up and need one of them. I knew she would just worry sensless about sd so I called her first thing Sun afternoon when we all got up. (We didn't get home from hosp. till 530 or 6 am sun morn.). The grand parents came. Her aunt on mom's side came. I held it together fine, all day. Then after all company left and I doped her up really good, I had to give her a bath. When I started washing the blood out of her hair and trying sooooo hard not to hurt the many road rashes on her tiny body, I lost it. And then apologized to her. Of course she knows I love her, but I felt bad b/c I am supposed to put those feelings aside and just give her the best care I am trained to. And SUPPOSED to put those feelings aside (harbor them) b/c she is not MY child.
We all (hubby, mom, sdad, and I) nearly lost her. As a nurse, I have seen what can happen in an instant. Sat. night was almost her time. She has a cut directly over where her carotid artery pulses. 1/4 of an inch deeper and we would be planning her funeral. Yes, I love her as if she is my own. I am at work tonight and dad is on bedside watch and I have teared up all night long b/c I want to be there with her.
We go see the facial specialist on Wed. Keep us in your prayers. I am praying NO surgery to fix her eye orbit. She still has good vision and no drooping of the eye itself so we are hopeful.
Sorry so long......
Edited by 2ndwife4longtime (07/01/08 04:28 AM)
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
[Re: 
Edit
Reply
Quote
