d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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DS13 went to live with his dad last May. He was supposed to be on probation and had 2 upcoming court dates (one for assault and one for probation violation) here when I let him go but his PO dismissed all of it so he could have a "fresh start". When his dad suggested he come there to live I asked that he promise he would continue DS's therapy and get a full psych eval done. My insurance covers it so he would only have to cover the $15 copays.
He has continued to get in trouble there. I was on the phone with DD last night and was asking how her day was. She said the past few days had been horrible because he was "getting in trouble" so much. I asked her what was going on and she said he punched her in the face a few days ago and yesterday got suspended again for fighting. She made me promise not to tell her dad that I knew.
My problem is ex promised me he would take him to therapy. He was told by the school and another organization the school recommended for a mental evaluation that DS needs EXTENSIVE therapy and he STILL has not taken him. Also the fact that he is instructing DD not to tell me what's going on really bothers me. I don't understand why HE isn't telling me.
I don't know if I can call the school and talk to them to see what's going on since i'm the NCP but I really want to know. Any advice as to what my rights are would be helpful.
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DeeCan
old hand
Reged: 04/05/08
Posts: 948
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Under Federal law, you have the same rights as he does to the anything to do with schooling, medical, etc.
Call the school, find out!
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I'll keep my guns, money, freedom; you keep "the change."
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d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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I just called. The principal was in a meeting so I asked that she call me back. I don't know what to do about the therapy. It might not help but I don't think it could hurt, either.
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onerose
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/30/05
Posts: 2549
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hmm. Sticky. Calling the school was a good idea. Does your DD live with her dad too?
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d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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yes.
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d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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thanks
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onerose
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/30/05
Posts: 2549
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Sorry, got caught up in the other daycare debate. I really am not sure what I would do. I think that maybe talking to the school was a really good start.
It sucks that your ex is telling your DD to not talk to you about this stuff.
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d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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That's okay. The school hasn't called me back, but I did call ex. I didn't tell him DD told me I just asked how DS was doing and how his therapy was going (he told me he was getting him signed up weeks ago). He said my insurance provider never called him back so I asked why not call them. Then he said he lost the number. I gave it to him again.
He told me some of what DS had done but left out the recent suspension. He said the school decided to put him alternative school based on their own secret evaluation of him but it wasn't because he had gotten into any more trouble. They just thought he had trouble interacting with other kids.
I don't understand why he's lying to me and telling DD to keep things from me. I have been nothing but supportive since DS moved in with him. I had faith the last time he was going to get him into therapy but he's been telling me that since May so I'm beginning to doubt it will ever happen.
I'm really concerned and I don't know what else I can do. I can talk to the school and at least know what's really going on but other than that, I will just have to sit back and watch.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 8521
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"I don't understand why he's lying to me and telling DD to keep things from me."
Simple... when ds pulled this $hit with you, wasn't he on your case MAJORLY?? He's probably afraid (not saying he has cause to be) that you'll return the favor and jump him for ds having these issues. It's not so easy when HE's the cp, is it... lol
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d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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It might sound stupid but the biggest reason I gave in to him going there is because I knew that I would be more supportive and stay on the same page. DS is the kind of kid that will play us against each other and when he was living with me, ex was all about a mom slam session and never enforced my punishments.
You might be right but I haven't given him any reason to think i will do that. I gently asked if he was punishing DS at home and he said he took him off restriction because he thinks the alternative school is enough. He also said he's trying to convince DS that it's a good thing so he won't feel so bad about it. BAER!!!!
It's NOT a good thing! He said that he thinks alternative school is just what he needs because he doesn't have enough social skills to change classes on his own. I said, "well he's gonna have to get them if he is going to be a productive member of society as an adult".
Oh, and he also told me that DD pretty much asked to get punched in the face because she is always messing with him. He is so gender biased that he can't even see our d is in 3 AP classes, makes straight A's, volunteers every day after school with disabled kids AND horses and she has NEVER been in trouble yet DS gets special treatment???
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