Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 8524
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"You might be right but I haven't given him any reason to think i will do that. "
I get that, but remember - it's what HE would do, so that's how he's judging the situation... he's probably feeling about 2 inches tall for giving you $hit all along, and yet he can't do any better?
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d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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that makes sense, i guess. he's probably attributing his behavior to what a sh!tty job i did as a CP all those years, knowing him and that's fine. I am just really disappointed. I didn't count on him doing better there but i was really hoping I was wrong.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 25648
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So your son is still not in therapy since last May when he moved in w/ dad? Is the therapy court ordered?
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Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 6383
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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I'm sorry.. but there is NO excuse good enough for someone to punch someone else in the face! I think I'd have to tell him if it happened again, that Child Services WILL be called and I would be getting my ducks in a row to take my daughter back. She should not have to suffer abuse at the hands of her brother!
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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No, it's not. But it has been STRONGLY recommended. Before he left for his dad's the juvenile corrections department were suggesting they could send him before a judge and pretty much make him take medication. He was prescribed ADHD medication in the past but wouldn't take it.
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d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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"I'm sorry.. but there is NO excuse good enough for someone to punch someone else in the face! I think I'd have to tell him if it happened again, that Child Services WILL be called and I would be getting my ducks in a row to take my daughter back. She should not have to suffer abuse at the hands of her brother!"
I agree. She does call him names when he goes in her room and destroys her things but she's 15 and he is VERY hard to deal with. I can just talk to ex and see what her day to day life is like. I hate it for her but there's nothing I can do. He tells her if she even discusses living with me again he will make sure even our phone calls are supervised. She believes him and doesn't want anyone to suffer.
I think it's about time he understands that it's not "okay" and pay some consequences. I know he will not last in alternative school because he cannot control himself. Ex said if he gets kicked out of AS he doesn't know what they'll do. I do know that DD15 needs some serious praise for being such a good kid.
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d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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oh and i forgot to mention that when ex was trying to deal with him hitting DD in the face he punched his father in the jaw. i literally gasped when he said that. ex is NOT someone you want to do that to and I am floored that DS "went there".
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 8524
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I'm confused... why did dd go to live with her dad as well? I thought she was with you, and doing well?
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d0b0vgall2020
veteran
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1334
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I have 2 DDs. The youngest does still live with me. It's kind of a long story but basically:
I had full custody of all 3. I lived in the town ex grew up in. We split up 2 months after moving there and I was stuck because I didn't want to move back to AL where he couldn't see them every day if he wanted to. When DD was soon to turn 12 he began telling her that she could choose who she wanted to live with at that age. Idea planted.
I lived in the city school district and he lived in the county (good school). She had an incident with the bus driver calling her a "white b!tch" and I couldn't get them to do anything but give the lady a warning. Sooo....she didn't want to have to ride that bus anymore and I had no way of taking and picking her up every day (single mom and working full time). She started pushing to go live with him so she could go to the better school. I refused.
Granted, during this time he was paying "what he thought was fair" in CS IF he paid at all. I was really struggling because I had to have them in day care being I had no family there besides his and few friends. It turned into a HUGE custody battle that almost broke all of us. DHS was called, he had me arrested once for tresspassing after he refused to drive the kids back after a weekend visit (even though it was in the court order), then wouldn't let them come outside when I got there so I literally jumped over him blocking the door and went in his house to get them.
Anyway, at 11, he took her to his attorney to sign an affidavit saying she wanted to live with him. I really tried to fight it but at the time I didn't know she couldn't make that choice even with an affidavit. I finally signed the custody agreement and he was required to pay me all the back CS he owed. After she moved in with him his CS went from (supposed to be) $700/month to me paying him. It never even occurred to me that was what he was fighting so hard for until it was over.
She did want to come back after but he won't let that happen so all I have to look forward to is her turning 18. She's already decided to go to college here and live with me so I can help her pay for it.
sorry, i know that was long.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 8524
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"After she moved in with him his CS went from (supposed to be) $700/month to me paying him."
Even though you still had the younger dd and ds?? Dang...
Your ex didn't play fair at all, did he... :(
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