1966Gal
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My D18 and her boyfriend broke up about a month ago. She's been truly broken-hearted, especially because he moved on to a new girlfriend very quickly.
His friends never liked D18...they were outright rude to her many times, epecially a guy named "Luke."
Fastforward, I get a phone call from D18's school last week. Her counselor, vice principal and school psychologist were all the phone telling me that the sheriff's office received an annonymous "text-a-tip" that D18 was suicidal.
Of course I totally freaked out, but told them I didn't think so. She was excited about college. She was planning her dorm rooms. She was looking forward to a trip we are taking in 3 weeks to tour colleges, etc... They said "well, those are all good signs, but we want to evaulate her too." I said, "ok, please call me back." They called me back an hour later, said they talked to her and she was fine. They had no worries AT ALL that she was suicidal.
Well, teens can't keep their mouths shut. I find out yesterday that Luke texted the tip into the Sheriff's office as a prank. I'm on my way into the school this morning. I want his HEAD ON A PLATTER!!! Her former BF knew he did it, and while he didn't like, he didn't do anything about it. I'm not sure about calling his parents or not. I PISSED. My D wants me to leave it alone, but I explained to her that if Luke has it out for her and is capable of texting a tip into the Sheriffs office, he's capable of maybe planting drugs in her car and texting that she's carrying drugs. Who knows what he's capable of, so I want to get his harrassement on record.
WWYD???
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Cassie23
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I was going to ask you how your DD was doing with her BF?
I am on the same page as you. It is now on your DD's record that there was a text tip she was suicidal. She had to be evaluated by school officials. Why shouldn't it be on his record?
You're poor DD, teenagers can be so spiteful.
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JennyLynn
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I don't blame you for being p*ssed. Teens can be so cruel. I would want the school and the cops to take full action on whatever kind of punishment the kid should have - what that is? I truly don't know, I don't know how this works. But I would be angry as well.
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Cassie23
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True JL- he should be punished to the extent that he can be. Is he 18 yet? I would think he could get in trouble for calling a tip that wasn't real as well? Something similar to giving police false information?
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JennyLynn
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Yes that's what I was thinking too, b/c he did give false information and caused time and money to put into an investigation that shouldn't have happened at all. Not to mention Susan's poor D's embaressment with it all. I can't imagine.
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Loretta
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Reged: 06/02/05
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I'm sorry to hear this. Some people are so cruel. My kids always wanted me to keep my mouth shut, sometimes I did, most times I didn't. I'd file a complaint with the school as well as with the police dept. If he does it again, they'll know where to look.
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Redlegg
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Me, I think you should have ray call BF directly, and let him know he is choosing the wrong path. let him know that he does not appreciate anyone who messes with his SD, because there are consequences. Let the school know, let them do their thing. Apparently the police dept already knows, call them and ask them if they are charging him with a crime, and if not, then why not. I am sure if there is a suicide warning on her permanent record than there is also the explanation.
I would put a bug in ex BF's ear, and let his mind do the rest.
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spinnerdegrassi
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Your daughter is 18. Time for her to fight her own battles on this one, not you. The former BF has no obligation anymore as to what his friends do. Why call his parents? Plus you have to prove that the text was malicious. You're going on hearsay and speculation.
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Redlegg
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And have ray make the call, let ex BF speculate and have some of his own hearsay :)
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onerose
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Poor girl! I bet she just wants it to go away and act like it did not happen and you want his head on a platter.
I would have to go with you on this one. This was more than just a prank. She may not like it right now, but she will understand in the long run that you did what had to be done. FOR HER.
I don’t care if she is 18 or not. I would be involved big time on something like this.
And I would call her ex’s parents for sure. He should have done something. Little twerp.
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Avaya
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Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9815
Loc: Arkansas
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[quote] My D wants me to leave it alone, but I explained to her that if Luke has it out for her and is capable of texting a tip into the Sheriffs office, he's capable of maybe planting drugs in her car and texting that she's carrying drugs. Who knows what he's capable of, so I want to get his harrassement on record.
WWYD??? [/quote]
I'd leave it alone. He pulled a stupid teen prank and IMO there is no need for you to fuel the fire.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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Redlegg
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If I were the parent of an 18 year old who did that, I would tell you to call the school, he is 18, there are consequences. I would also tell him that I heard what he did, oh well, you are in the bigs now, just one more thing you have deal with as a grown up. it is hard to let go, but when you do, at that age, they grow up. I am not saying cut him off totally, but there times when you need to let them experience the real world, and not only for the good times.
And have ray call :)
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JennyLynn
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So, do you think Ray should call?? :)
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Redlegg
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Oh yes, I honestly do no know how bad I would react with a daughter. If it was my son, I would treat it differently, in that area, I am the first to say that I suffer a deep seated bias, and would be so much more protective of a daughter. It is my cross to bear, and I do not have a daughter, so it makes it very easy to live with.
And have ray call :)
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cpnebraska
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Reged: 09/08/08
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Me? I wouldn't call. I would be sitting in the office waiting to see the principal. Suicide is NOT a joke nor should it be taken lightly. This kid needs his freakin head knocked off. Thankfully your daughter was cleared, if not, imagine how complicated it could have gotten.
I have a friend who was misdiagnosed and put on certain meds that made her feel suicidal and she admitted herself because she was scared. They figured out it was the meds and later that she never needed them but now? She can't get a job with the Sherrifs office because of it.
So It's no joking matter and kids need to realize that.
One school here has had 8 kids commit suicide in 3 years. Who knows how many more tried. This wasn't a low income school either. We can't get the school to allow counselors or any other program to help those left to deal with it.
I lost my brother to suicide and take it very seriously.
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Having one kid makes you a parent, two makes you a referee!
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ssmom79
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I would not ask for heads. I would definitely follow up with the school and the sheriff. I empathize for your D and you having to deal with this situation. I hope it is resolved immediately.
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LeAnne
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Reged: 08/18/05
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Loc: missouri
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I would have a chat, with the cops, just to keep dumba$$ on their radar. I would have a chat with the principal.
If you stir up too much stuff at school with the kid, it could really backfire on your D. Cause the kids are going to talk, and say all kinds of mean crap stuff to her.
Now you want to confront dumba$$, I would do it in person. Catch him walking out of somewhere, have Ray walk up, and scare the crap out of him, with words like, "I will break you in 1/2, if you screw with my kid again."
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Empty Nesting
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spinnerdegrassi
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Any grown adult threatening a teen at this point wouldn't be the best route of action..especially in this day and age where you might find yourself sh!tcanned from your job if it was speculated that you were harassing teenagers. Plus if this kid was anything like I was at 18 (6'5 and about 235 then) I would have been " bring it on old man"
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LeAnne
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Reged: 08/18/05
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Loc: missouri
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I've seen pictures of him, he looks like a little mouse. Plus he is a geeky, computer nerd looking. I could have him pissing down both legs in a heartbeat. But you know I am a big meanie.
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Empty Nesting
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rocketgirl
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Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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This is not her ex BF.. it is a friend of his who called it in because he never liked her.
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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1966Gal
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Reged: 04/04/08
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I was in the assistant principals office at 7:15 this morning. I told him the whole story. He's going to talk to the Sheriff's office to see if they want to puruse charging him with false reporting. He said that chances are the kid will deny sending the text OR will lie and say that he really thought she was suicidal - to get out of it. (if he's smart, that's what he will say, but not all teens are very smart or quick thinkers.)
I told him that my D18 was afraid of retaliation, but he assured me that he would tell the kid that "talk in the halls is that you made this prank text..." He would leave my D18 completely out of it.
If the kid admits sending the text, he will let the Sheriff's office decide how to deal with it legally, but the school will deal with it via suspension and talk with is parents.
If he denies it and they can't prove it, then he'll get a STERN warning that this is his "free card" and he'd better stay away from my daughter.
He sais that my D needs to be on the look out for any retaliation either by Facebook, texts, or things he or his friends might say to her in the hallway. He said if any of that happens, to let him know immediately.
I asked him for a call-back and he said he would, but there would be nothing he could tell me. He won't be allowed to discuss any discipline the student receives with me.
So, case closed "for now." This kid is little. My H VERY MUCH wants to have a "man to man" talk with him, but we don't know if he's 18 or not. Can't risk it. H could snap him like a twig.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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KiwiGirl
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Loc: Plains State
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Poor Ms18. How horrible. I would want that expunged from my record ASAP. If she is looking at a medical career or anything requiring a background check it may prevent her from that career path.
I would contact the young twerp's parents. I would inform them that their son has made a malicious report that was entirely libelous against your daughter. You are sure this is not encouraged in his parents home and they are as shocked and horrified as you are. However you are looking at legal options to prevent your daughter from dealing with this in the future.
By assuming the parents are on the same page as you makes them not so defensive regarding their son. Also theyw ill not like the reference to 'legal options' nd will read their son the riot act.
I think that the kid was impulsive and stupid. Tenns do impulsive and stupid things. This is one of them. However he should not be allowed to get away with involving law enforcement and school administrators on a waste of time. THAT needs to be stopped here and now. Maybe washing your daughters car all winter would be a suitable punishment for starters?
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If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem
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1966Gal
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Reged: 04/04/08
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Oh yea, I did address that with the Asst. principal. That NOTHING about the suicide appear on my D's school records ANYWHERE. He assured me it did not. I guess I should ask to see them.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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asurvivor
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Reged: 06/14/05
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I say TAKE IT TO THE SCHOOL and GET THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE INVOLVED!
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gr8Dad
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Nothing will come of it.
They will ask "Luke" if he did it (I think those things are confidential) IF he admits it, he will say, "Well, she just broke up with so and so, and I saw her looking down, REALLY looking depressed, and a few people mentioned to me that they heard things, but I don't want to involve them, so I sent a text to the hotline. I would have felt horrible if she HAD comitted suicide and I did nothing."
And Susan is going to look like a JACKASS, who is more worried about how she and her daughter LOOK to the outside world than her actual well being. Especially if she insists on LOOKING at the "file" to make sure it was removed or not put in there. Especially when the only "history" with Luke is her word that "He didn't like her when she was dating BF."
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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gr8Dad
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Why? What was done illegal? A person had a concern, they texted the hotline. That is the way it is supposed to work. You can prove nothing further.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Gecko
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Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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If he denies it and they can't prove it,
---> Easy peasy...call his parents and ask for a online printout of his texting. A kid that does stupidass [censored] like this, doesn't think that far ahead...sure, the 'tip' line may not record his number, but his cell does.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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gr8Dad
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And what will that prove? That he texted a hotline about a schoolmate that just broke up with her BF?
He can ADMIT he did it, and NOTHING illegal was done.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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1966Gal
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Reged: 04/04/08
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If he denies it and they can't prove it,
---> Easy peasy...call his parents and ask for a online printout of his texting. A kid that does stupidass [censored] like this, doesn't think that far ahead...sure, the 'tip' line may not record his number, but his cell does.
++++++
Actually, my ex and I tried to get text records of D18 and were told they don't exist.
Luke has many easy outs. He can say he sent the text with good intentions...he really did think she was suicidal. He could say a friend picked up his phone and sent it when he wasn't looking.
He might have sent it from a disposable phone or from a friend's phone.
There is really no way we can nail him UNLESS he's caught off-guard and admits to doing it. 17/18 year old kids aren't the smartest in the world. He'd have to be very savy to come up with iron-clad excuses, spur of the moment, after he's confronted.
I doubt anything will come of it EXCEPT that the school will tell him he's being watched very carefully and he is to stay away from my daughter.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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gr8Dad
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Your daughter COULD have ctually been VERY depressed, and spoken of suicide, and someone texted the hotline....
....NAHH, that would mean she' not PERFECT.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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agui667
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Reged: 10/23/06
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I'm going with what gr8dad says 100%.
Also, deterring anybody from using an anonymous hotline is not good. What if your daughter is suicidal or another student for that matter.
By the way, why do you think "Luke" did it?
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1966Gal
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I'm going with what gr8dad says 100%.
Also, deterring anybody from using an anonymous hotline is not good. What if your daughter is suicidal or another student for that matter.
By the way, why do you think "Luke" did it?
+++++++++++++
She's definitly NOT suicidal and never was. I asked her if it's possible that she gave ANYONE the impression she was suicidal and she didn't. (back before we knew Luke did it.)
Luke never liked D18. He couldn't stand that she was dating his BFF. He has always been very rude and condescending to her. Her former BF told her friend "Luke did it as a prank. He's such an a@@." So her former BF didn't like that Luke did it, but did admit he did it as a prank.
I don't think it's a funny prank. I hope they nail him for it. But if they don't, such is life.
And Agui, I disagree with you. Deterring someone from using a hotline for a prank/false accusation, is the right thing to do.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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gr8Dad
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"She's definitly NOT suicidal and never was."
Deniiiiallll....
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Redlegg
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That is not the way I see it. It sounded like if you are unsure, do you make the call or not, because if you think so, and are unsure, and it turns out to be unfounded, then will you call the next time you are unsure. One thing about suicide is that it is permanent solution to a short term problem. People not calling because they are not sure will never help anyone. Pranks are different. everyone knows not to call then, but some do. In this case you have to take some of the bad with the good.
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Cassie23
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If the X BF told your DD his friend did it as a prank, then that would be enough for me to take it to the school and to the police, if necessary.
Police/tip/suicide hotlines shouldn't be used as pranks and jokes...
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Sherron
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""She's definitly NOT suicidal and never was."
Deniiiiallll.... "
So you know her dd better than she does?
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BB1
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So you know her dd better than she does?
------>Of course he does.
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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ssmom79
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I doubt anything will come of it EXCEPT that the school will tell him he's being watched very carefully and he is to stay away from my daughter.
_________________________________________
I agree and I hope this is enough for you and D.
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gr8Dad
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I know making such a statement is foolish, cause EVERY teenager, at somepoint, has considered suicide. That is why it is so important to keep an eye on them.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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cpnebraska
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Reged: 09/08/08
Posts: 541
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[quote]""She's definitly NOT suicidal and never was."
Deniiiiallll.... "
So you know her dd better than she does? [/quote]
I'm not defending the sarcasm at all BUT just to say, NOONE had a clue my brother was suicidal. I KNEW he was depressed but I never imagined it was that bad. They hide it from the people they love the most. Deny with passion even.
I'm NOT saying her DD is depressed, It actually sounds like she is a very positive person and is looking at all the good things in her life.
NOONE can know when someone feels that way unless they are told and even then sometimes we think they are exagerating things. Believe me I know. And THAT is why this should be followed up with. Yes he will probably walk away scott free but hopefully? something will shake him up enough to know it isn't a joke.
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Having one kid makes you a parent, two makes you a referee!
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Redlegg
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A permanent solution to a temporary problem. Always take any threat serious. if it was a prank, the guy is a freaking tool. has anyone asked how does anyone know it was a prank?
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Gecko
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Loc: Third rock from the sun
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Red...that is really great EXCEPT for:
"Her former BF told her friend "Luke did it as a prank. He's such an a@@.""
---> See...'pranks' are supposed to be funny...right? So tell me ONE thing that is 'funny' about this whole business? Do you think it was 'funny' for the child to be pulled out of her class and be evaluated? Do you think it was 'funny' for Susan get to a call from the school saying that they received a tip that her daughter was suicidal? That she was laughing her ass off as she told her boss that she had to leave work and drove to the school?
---> Haha funny, funny...how 'bout I call CPS as a joke and tell them that you are molesting your child...it's just a 'prank' after all. No harm, no foul...right? You'll be able to easily prove that you haven't molested your child...in time...after s/he's been taken away along with any siblings...after s/he's been examined by a forensic nurse...after you've interviewed by the police...after the police have interviewed your family, your neighbors, your co-workers. Golly gee Red...it was just a prank.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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gr8Dad
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DD's ex BF told someone HIS friend did it as a prank. They are pretty "sure" he did it cause he didn't LIKE her when she was dating ex BF.
Of course, it COULDN'T be that she WAS acting depressed, and someone was REALLY concerned, right? Nope, MUST have been done MALISCIOUSLY.
What is REALLY pathetic about this is that its not like they ordered PIZZA to her house or something, the WORST case scenerio, they were right, and daughter gets HELP, or they were wrong, and NOTHING happens.
But she is MORE concerned that there be NO "record" of this, as she seems to feels that if anyone foundout that her daughter MIGHT have had a problem, it would reflect negatively.
This is my BIGGEST beef with that type of attitude towards mental health. People like her who treat mental health like it is a STIGMA sicken me.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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1966Gal
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I'm NOT saying her DD is depressed, It actually sounds like she is a very positive person and is looking at all the good things in her life.
NOONE can know when someone feels that way unless they are told and even then sometimes we think they are exagerating things. Believe me I know. And THAT is why this should be followed up with. Yes he will probably walk away scott free but hopefully? something will shake him up enough to know it isn't a joke.
+++++++
I absolutely agree with you. When the school called me last week, I about died! I really thought she was suicidal. I called her BFF's mother to see if her BFF had been saying anything.
The school called me back after they spoke to her and said they has absolutely NO concerns. Her counselor knew her well and said she's fine and was very suprised/shocked when they called her in.
Then I talked to her. "Are you ok?" "Are you or have you been thinking about suicide?" "What's going on?" blah, blah, blah...
She was so perplexed. She couldn't believe everyone was asking her this stuff. She finally got frustrated with me after about 2 days. "Mom, I'd NEVER do that. LOOK AT ME!! Do you see how hard I've been studying? Do you really think I'd be working this hard if I didn't have future plans?? I don't know who made that call, but I'm NOT suicidal!!!"
I couldn't help but watch her closely after I got the call. She kept telling me that it was a prank, but I coudln't be sure. I called my ex and he tried to pull her phone records so we could see what she's been texting. I searched her phone, email, etc...
NOTHING. She's not suicidal. Someone who wants to embarrass and humiliate her made a horrible decision to send a prank text. That's all it was. And it was scarey and I don't appreciate it. I want his head on a silver platter right now.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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gr8Dad
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"Her former BF told her friend "Luke did it as a prank. He's such an a@@."
There is a LEGAL term for that, it's called DOUBLE HEARSAY.
"how 'bout I call CPS as a joke and tell them that you are molesting your child...it's just a 'prank' after all."
Because YOU would be reporting someone comitting a CRIME (as child abuse is a CRIME). The texter here was reporting CONCERN for someone. SLIGHTLY different.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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JennyLynn
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<<I know making such a statement is foolish, cause EVERY teenager, at somepoint, has considered suicide>>
I can HONESTLY say I NEVER was even close to contemplating suicide as a teenager.
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BB1
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Do you think it was 'funny' for Susan get to a call from the school saying that they received a tip that her daughter was suicidal? That she was laughing her ass off as she told her boss that she had to leave work and drove to the school?
------>BTDT in a real live "I don't want to live" (high drama daughter) moment and it was NOT fun at.all. I was one of the worst feelings ever and we went through it more than once. There were times I didn't know if I'd walk in her room and find her dead. She was very difficult as a teen. I don't find any humor in the "prank" at all and I think the kid, Luke, should be punished.
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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gr8Dad
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"Someone who wants to embarrass and humiliate her made a horrible decision to send a prank text."
And WHY, exactly, would someone CONCERNED about how she FELT after losing a long term boyfriend by embarrassing or humiliating?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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gr8Dad
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What if Luke's "dislike" of her while she was dating his friend ACTUALLY jealousy that HE wanted to goout with her? And what if his call was SINCERE? That he was REALLY concerned for her?
Does that change ANYTHING, or are Susan's kids BEYOND feeling horrible?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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BB1
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cause EVERY teenager, at somepoint, has considered suicide.
------->Because EVERY teenager in the universe has called you to personally inform you of their thoughts. That's how you know that is an accurate statement, right?
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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I forgot to call him when I was a teenager, and verify I was one who never contemplated it ;)
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BB1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 8051
Loc: MD
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What if, what if, what if....
We know what Susan said and since she was actually THERE and involved, I think I'll just have to go with that instead of all of the "what if's" coming out of Mississippi today. K?
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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DD's ex BF told someone HIS friend did it as a prank. They are pretty "sure" he did it cause he didn't LIKE her when she was dating ex BF.
I am not saying it was not, but look at the source, if ex BF is a tool, he is a tool. There are a whole of childlike qualties to this whole thing. Do not dismiss it, the prank aspect, let them know your concerns, and let them deal with it, they are the professionals. These things can get people to stop calling these hotlines. I would have taken it seriously if i got the call, it probably would have gotten DS a talk anyways. There can never be enough prevention.
if you know it is a prank, then you know it is. I cannot say, use your best judgement and proceed. That is all i am saying.
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BB1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 8051
Loc: MD
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Oh stoooop. What if you are in deniiiiiial?
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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But if you deny that you are in deniiiiiial, are you in denial?
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
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I must be in denial :)
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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What is REALLY pathetic about this is that.....
---> Is ya'll using this as a way to bash someone. The facts are the fact...it WAS a 'prank' done with malious intent...no more, no less. Leave it at that.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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BB1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 8051
Loc: MD
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I don't know. Ask gr8dad. He'll know who's in denial and who is not. He gets a status update on human thoughts daily so he should be able to clear that up.
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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cause EVERY teenager, at somepoint, has considered suicide.
---> Sorry, but I never did.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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Does homicide count, oh wait, that was yesterday.....;)
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7947
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What's funny is that no one has proven this guy even did anything...it's all based on an ex bf saying he did......
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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How, EXACTLY, is asking someone to CONSIDER that in stressful time, add in the holidays and college stuff, their child MIGHT be depressed to the point where others whom see the child in a different light, might see suicide potential?
You are no better than she is in regards to this. Few are willing to consider that this IS NO NEGATIVE.
Please point out WHAT happened to the child, other than a few people CARING for her and talking to her about her feelings.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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Actually, its based on a friend of the daughter telling her that the ex boyfriend was told by the Luke guy that it was a prank. Double hearsay. But the guy is GUILTY, and should be FLOGGED for even SUGGESTING that someone as PERFECT as Susan's daughter MIGHT be having a problem with the break up, the college, school, the holidays, etc.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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I am not saying it was not, but look at the source, if ex BF is a tool, he is a tool. There are a whole of childlike qualties to this whole thing. Do not dismiss it, the prank aspect, let them know your concerns, and let them deal with it, they are the professionals. These things can get people to stop calling these hotlines. I would have taken it seriously if i got the call, it probably would have gotten DS a talk anyways. There can never be enough prevention.
---> Here's the deal...why would letting folks know that pranking a suicide hotline is bad, deter people from calling? People who think that it's NO BIG DEAL need to understand that it is a big deal because it ties up services and someone could DIE!
---> I remember getting up one morning finding my father passed on the floor. I call '911' and it rang ELEVEN FREAKING times before someone answered...what if my father had died because of a lack of immediate response because three boys were pranking '911' that morning and tying up the lines?
---> Public Services are finate you know...which is why there are constant PSAs and NOT calling 911 if your pizza's late or your coffee isn't hot enough or someone took your parking place.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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How, EXACTLY, is asking someone to CONSIDER that in stressful time, add in the holidays and college stuff, their child MIGHT be depressed to the point where others whom see the child in a different light, might see suicide potential?
---> Therein lies the problem...1) you didn't ask and 2) you're not even considering that it was a prank.
---> Great and true and all that...that such checks and balances exit. BUT...on the other hand, if it is being abused...it should be dealt with accordingly.
---> So...IF in fact this was a prank, how should it be dealt with?
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20052
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"NOONE had a clue my brother was suicidal. I KNEW he was depressed but I never imagined it was that bad. They hide it from the people they love the most. Deny with passion even. "
Cp, I'm not saying you should have known. My point was that Susan, who LIVES with her dd has no indication, how would someone on an anon board who has never met anyone in the entire family know more about it?
Bring it up, ask her to consider the possibility, fine... but the whole "yeah, cause your perfect kid would never do that" wasn't to help.
And sorry about your bro, cp.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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I totally agree with what Susan did here and I would have done the same.
People cannot call in pranks to hotlines. Next thing you know, CPS will be at your house because Luke said Ray was molesting your daugther or something. He needs to be called on it, whether he gets in trouble or not, he needs to know you are taking this seriously.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20052
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"He needs to be called on it, whether he gets in trouble or not, he needs to know you are taking this seriously. "
But if he doesn't get in trouble, how serious will HE be taking it?
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cpnebraska
addict
Reged: 09/08/08
Posts: 541
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No, I wasn't defending the sarcasm at all.
There is no way anyone on here could say one way or another about someone s family member.
There is no way to know even if you live with someone though. Those clues are easily missed was all I was saying. I saw what they meant and tried to convey that it was possible but never meant anyone here would know more than she does.
Thank you. If anyone ever sees a walk or fundraiser for "Out of the darkness" Please take the time to look at it. Suicide prevention and groups for those left behind.
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Having one kid makes you a parent, two makes you a referee!
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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It would likely deter him from doing it again. I mean there are a plethora of things you can do from going to the school admin, his parents, court, police, etc.
If gal's daughter suddenly has two or more "hotline" tips about her I would think the county would investigate who was making the "tips".
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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People cannot call in pranks to hotlines. Next thing you know, CPS will be at your house because Luke said Ray was molesting your daugther or something. He needs to be called on it, whether he gets in trouble or not, he needs to know you are taking this seriously.
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Thank you. I told ths school that I want this incident to go "on record" so if anything else happens, we already have a "starting point" for the harrassment.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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Here's the deal...why would letting folks know that pranking a suicide hotline is bad, deter people from calling? People who think that it's NO BIG DEAL need to understand that it is a big deal because it ties up services and someone could DIE!
No one should have to be told, they should already know, it is a bad thing. What I am saying is that you should do something if it is a prank, but when this kid sits there and says I thought she was suicidal, I made the call, and now I am getting in trouble, that will also get out. Now you will have people, especially in this area, who may think someone is suicidal, or depressed, and want to do the right thing. But they know if the person turns out not to be suicidal, and they get blamed for something, then people start to think why bother unless I know for sure.
I am not saying it was, or was not a prank. GAL can notify the powers that be, of everything she knows, and let them investigate. if it is a prank, he should be punished appropriately. But proving it was is not going to be an easy task, considering that any indication can be considered a valid sign of suicide, and yes, opinions do count.
"Public Services are finate you know...which is why there are constant PSAs and NOT calling 911 if your pizza's late or your coffee isn't hot enough or someone took your parking place."
911 is a little different, I do not think you have to wonder if your coffee not being hot enough is the wrong reason to call 911 or someone is in your parking spot. Look at the publsihed criteria for calling 911 and the same for a suicide hotline, and you can see how gray it is.
They will err on the side of it may have been true. They have to, considering the goal of the hotline.
I am not saying they are right, or that pranking is ok, or that they should not put it in the newspaper if they figure out it was a prank, but getting to that will not be very easy.
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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I am not saying they are right, or that pranking is ok, or that they should not put it in the newspaper if they figure out it was a prank, but getting to that will not be very easy.
++++++++
I agree with you Redd. If the guy is quick-witted enough to say "I really thought she was suicidal", then the matter should be dropped. He will know he's lying. The school will know he's lying. He never speaks to my D. He would have no idea if she was depressed or not, but you shouldn't scare kids off from making the call if they feel their friends might be suicidal.
If he skirts this, fine. But he'll know the school is on to him and will hopefully keep him from trying anything else stupid.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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And THAT is the problem. There is ABSOLUTELY no way to prove it was a prank, and pushing the matter WILL result in people saying, "Well, I THINK they are suicidal, but if I am wrong, remember what happened to LUKE? Don't want THAT happening to me..."
"you're not even considering that it was a prank"
Well, it COULD be a prank, but WHAT negative would happen to the prankee? I mean if you crank call someone, they have to GET UP and answer the phone. You have inconvenienced them. What is the DOWNSIDE to this?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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DOn't be so melodramatic. I am sure everyone at school knows that he did this.
When I was in H.S. we had a kid that everyone did that to too. He would have recruiters, counselors, lost and found ads, everyone calling him. His dad finally had enough of ignoring it and the prankster got into trouble. It is funny as this prankster is now a professional baseball player.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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So now calling a suicide hotline should be limited to a person SPEAKING to someone? What if a teacher SAW your daughter moping around, then SAW her in the store buying sleeping pills buy the case, and after the deed is over, came to you and said, "Yeah, I saw all these signs, but never really SPOKE to her, so I couldn't call the hotline."
Honestly, you don't even KNOW texted the hotline.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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So, EVERYONE knows, but the daughter had to hear it from her friend, who claims to have heard it from her ex BF, who CLAIMS to know his friend did it.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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Oh, and putting the kids name on REPEATED lists initiating REPEATED calls is EXACTLY the same as ONE text, unvarified to ONE hotline, right? BAER!
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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Well, it COULD be a prank, but WHAT negative would happen to the prankee?
---> So....what...because there are no real consequences, NO effort should be made to explain to this kid how his prank, while not DIRECTLY effecting HIM...could have real world consequences on OTHERS?
---> Again...resources are NOT finate. A kid pranking a call to '911' resulting in two officers responding means that they are now unavailable to respond to a REAL emergency...one that could result in someone's death.
---> I remember several years back, this asswipe refused to pull over to allow emergency vehicles (firetruck/ambulance) to pass and because of him, the vehicles got blocked in for several minutes before they could go on their way. I caught up to the guy at a Circle K and reamed him a new one! Asked him how he would feel if it was his wife or child or himself or other close family member needed the services those vehicles provided and because of some a$$hole like him who couldn't wait a single minute to get his six-pack at Circle K...kept them from getting to them and they DIED as a result. Those 3 minutes HE delayed those vehicles could mean the difference between pulling someone from a burning house or vehicle or they dying from flames or smoke inhalation. EVERY SECOND you brain is deprived of oxygen...a part of it dies. EVERY SECOND your skin is exposed to heat or flame...it BURNS deeper.
---> Do you have any idea how long ELEVEN FREAKING RINGS is? My father...on the floor...white as a sheet...shallow breathing...ice cold...and I can't get through to '911' because a couple of boys though it would be fun to prank.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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[quote]Oh, and putting the kids name on REPEATED lists initiating REPEATED calls is EXACTLY the same as ONE text, unvarified to ONE hotline, right? BAER! [/quote]
That makes no sense.I have no idea what you are even trying to say.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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KrazyKat
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/05/07
Posts: 1714
Loc: Somewhere in the Middle
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I have Verizon and it shows me every number called and every number texted to and from our cell phones.
The cell phone companies DO have access to get this information.
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If you have a problem, build a bridge and get over it!
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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You don't know that he wasn't REALLY concerned. For that matter, you don't know that he DID it.
"Again...resources are NOT finate. A kid pranking a call to '911' resulting in two officers responding means that they are now unavailable to respond to a REAL emergency...one that could result in someone's death."
He SUPPOSEDLY sent a TEXT to a LOCAL hotline. If there are SO many texts to the suicide hotline that ONE "crowds" the system, they have FAR greater problems than a prankster.
"Asked him how he would feel if it was his wife or child or himself or other close family member needed the services those vehicles provided and because of some a$$hole like him who couldn't wait a single minute to get his six-pack at Circle K...kept them from getting to them and they DIED as a result."
And how would YOU feel if the FEAR of calling the hotline and being called a prankster stopped someone from calling for YOUR child and THEY died?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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You were the one comparing one kid that got calls from all over the place because a prankster put his name on many lists to this case, they are COMPLETELY different.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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And how would YOU feel if the FEAR of calling the hotline and being called a prankster stopped someone from calling for YOUR child and THEY died?
---> Apples and onions.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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SO, you can compare a speeding ambulance blocked in traffic to a TEXT message about suicide, but when I use the SAME comparison the other way, they are DIFFERENT?
Yeah, good call.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7947
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You know really..the only thing this will look like is amongst students is Susan's daughter, who is an adult, went to Mommy to fight her battles. Whether or not this friend of the daughter's ex boyfriend interacts with her anymore, it won't stop others who are part of that crowd making fun of her for this incident....because from their vantage point it looks like Susan's daughter can't handle her own business.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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And how would YOU feel if the FEAR of calling the hotline and being called a prankster stopped someone from calling for YOUR child and THEY died?
---> Sorry...I had to go back and reread this.
---> Seriously...the only reason why someone would have to 'fear' that no one would take their reporting seriously is because they have a reputation for 'crying wolf' and/or being a 'prank/crank'. And this is EXACTLY why this kid needs to be sat down and explained the consequences of such 'pranks'...that they aren't 'funny'...that people can be hurt by these stunts. That this 'hotline' was set up for kids in crisis, not for causing problems for someone they don't like or whatever.
---> IF...and it's a big IF given the information relay, he had a geniune concern...there is NO harm, NO foul in relaying just how important this service can be. And, it just might cause him to rethink his overall behavior/actions, if people would think him capable of such a prank.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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"the only reason why someone would have to 'fear' that no one would take their reporting seriously is because they have a reputation for 'crying wolf' and/or being a 'prank/crank'."
I believe the ORIGINAL idea was to call the POLICE and have him CHARGED. THAT is what I am objecting to.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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I believe the ORIGINAL idea was to call the POLICE and have him CHARGED. THAT is what I am objecting to.
---> You 'believe' wrong...I went through ALL the posts and NO ONE has suggested that the kids be 'charged'...there were suggestions that a 'complaint' be 'filed', but NO 'charges'.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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There was a suggestion that his BLOCK be knocked off, that Ray assault him, or at least SCARE him, threaten him, and that a complaint with the police be filed.
So, WHY do you file a complaint with the police? So they just KNOW, or so further action can be taken?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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Was there any consideration that the xbf may have done it and when confronted by your daughter blamed it on "luke" because well, he's an @ss who never liked your daughter and that would make it believable?
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19802
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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There was a suggestion that his BLOCK be knocked off, that Ray assault him, or at least SCARE him, threaten him, and that a complaint with the police be filed.
---> Yeah, but NO WHERE did anyone suggest that he be 'charged'...which makes your argument meaningless since by your admission, that is what it was based on.
So, WHY do you file a complaint with the police? So they just KNOW, or so further action can be taken?
---> BOTH, but when your neighbors have a loud party and you file a 'complaint' with the police...are you REALLY expecting them to arrest/charge someone or do you simply want them to make the people turn down the music.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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You know what, I am done arguing. We BOTH know that there was a push to get the kid in trouble. Call it CHARGES, call it a WARNING, call it what you want, but there is ABSOLUTELY no acceptable evidence that he even DID it, there is NO victim, as there is NO downside.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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