sedwards
journeyman
Reged: 06/15/05
Posts: 91
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So, it’s been happening for years now. One of the SD’s “borrows” or takes something from my DD17. DD17 is at her wits end with it. She will notice something missing, see a picture on Facebook of one of her step sisters wearing it, see BM wearing it and get MAD. DD17 feels like there are 3 of them and one of her and anytime she brings it up that they took something from her, the 3 of them back each other up and deny it and nothing is done about it. If I bring it up, they deny it. DH doesn’t do much about it because he says he can’t just take DD17 word for it that they took her stuff and accuse his own kids of stealing. DH thinks this is petty girl stuff, and wouldn’t have a clue about who owns what bra, hair straightener, t shirt, etc. I am the only person that would know who owns what, because I am the one who buys all of their clothes, etc. Outside of doing a bag check each time they leave (which is impossible), I really don’t see any solution to this problem. She gets mad and resentful toward me because she doesn’t think I do anything about it, but my hands are sort of tied. DH blows it off like it’s not a big deal, but DD17 will not stop complaining about the missing stuff. It may seem petty, but teenage girls do not consider this petty and it is a cause for much drama at our house. I just don’t know how to go about fixing this with the least amount of drama?
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Can you put a lock on your DD's door?
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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sedwards
journeyman
Reged: 06/15/05
Posts: 91
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She locks her door when she is not going to be home for a while, but she doesn't always remember to. I think some of the stuff is being taken from the laundry area, and the bathroom.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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How often are your step kids there?
Unless your daughter locks her stuff up, there is no way to stop them from taking her clothes. I would personally drive my child over there (to their custodial home) and get the clothes. I would be livid if I saw my husband's ex wearing the clothes I purchased for my child.
Putting a pad lock on the outside of her door sends a message. Quit taking my stuff!!
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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sedwards
journeyman
Reged: 06/15/05
Posts: 91
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Yeah, but we don't really go in BM's home and BM would never allow that. Step daughters are 14,16,17 and the 16 and 17yo are over almost every day after school and most weekends, but go home to their mom's every weeknight around 8 or 9pm (their school is close to our house). Recently the CHI hair straigtener went missing, pretty expensive. My DD bought it with her own money a few years ago, she is livid and expecting me to do something about it. Other than accusing SD's of stealing and busting into BM's house to search it down, there isn't much I can do other than get her a new one.
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Sadie
addict
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 567
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I would add a sign.. This lock is to stop theft in my own home
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"DH doesn’t do much about it because he says he can’t just take DD17 word for it that they took her stuff and accuse his own kids of stealing. DH thinks this is petty girl stuff, and wouldn’t have a clue about who owns what bra, hair straightener, t shirt, etc. I am the only person that would know who owns what, because I am the one who buys all of their clothes, etc. "
Your dh believes his dd over you?
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Sadie
addict
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 567
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for a while your dd may need to be proactive and keep her belongings in her room, and keep the door locked. If the other girls are stealing, and their father wants to turn a blind eye, that is really the only remedy. I also would be doiung bag checks, if they dont like it too bad then they must have something to hide
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sedwards
journeyman
Reged: 06/15/05
Posts: 91
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funny thing, one time when BM was picking up, i noticed that she was wearing a pair of my UGG boots that disappeared from my closet. I had her remove them from her feet in the middle of the driveway in the middle of winter. <- another reason stepkids probably don't care for me too much
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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[quote]funny thing, one time when BM was picking up, i noticed that she was wearing a pair of my UGG boots that disappeared from my closet. I had her remove them from her feet in the middle of the driveway in the middle of winter. <- another reason stepkids probably don't care for me too much [/quote]
UGG (pun intended) she sounds like a real peach.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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