MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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Now the BD is second guessing this and is thinking about going to court which the son knows about and has told him in no uncertain terms that he would not live with him. This child called all the shots when small and still does. It really is a sad story.
--Sounds like it! What an odd story...I do hope it turns out good for everyone involved.
Does the son ever see/talk to BM?
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
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It sounds like the boy is with the best parental figure now. He's got a lot of issues to overcome....good luck to SD#1 trying to help him grow up to being a decent man.
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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True, finz.
And people say steps can't love stepchildren like their own or be strong role models in their lives - this story definitely proves it can and does happen!
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meganb
old hand

Reged: 10/29/05
Posts: 1180
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*****Does the son ever see/talk to BM?*****
As of now, yes he is still living with her, he spent all weekend packing and getting ready to move to his SD's house. She is not leaving till the last weekend of this month and I dont know if he will stay there till then or not.
To be honest he eat's her up to her face but when at his BD's he talks about how she doesnt care for him, doesnt have time for him ect, and I would bet he does the same about his BD while with his mom.
And to be honest in my heart I know he's with the best parent, I mean that. The SD has always been there for him. I'm waiting though for the other shoe to drop when he threws one of his fits there co's I know the SD and his wife will not put up with it. I really do respent both of them 100% and wish them and him nothing but luck. His new wife is a teacher also and I'm hoping that she will change how he views school.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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I agree it's both of their fault that he didn't have discipline. I'm shocked that it took going to court for someone to say that dad did not abuse him.
A few years ago my oldest D told a police officer that she was afraid to go home with me. (This is after the police were called because she and some friends were playing with lighters behind a building and someone saw them) The officer told her that he would be afraid too after having the police called and to remember first of all that "if" I smacked her @ss (yes he said that) it was called parental privledge, not abuse, and second if it got out of hand she could always call them, but it would take 15-20 minutes for them to get there and I could do a whole lot more damage in that amount of time. He also told her if he had to pick her up and carry her home he would, but if he hurt his back in the process she'd be a whole lot more afraid of him than me. She came with me.
I hate to say it but I think at 16 his personality is pretty much formed. He's not going to be afraid of his parents now or ever, and the BD has probably made the best decision for the rest of his family. I do feel sorry fo rthe kid. Not so much for what's going on now, but for what he really needed and didn't get about 10 years ago.
-------------------- When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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It sounds like the SD is the closest thing to a parent this kid has. His mother has abandoned him out of selfishness and his father checked out years ago when he let an 11 yo make adult decisions. Too late now to try and tell him he can't make a choice about where he lives. Dad probably is now realizing the fruits of his inaction are quite bitter - but that doesn't mean it's the wrong place for his kid to be.
-------------------- Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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