english7
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Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
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If it was, in fact, "sibling sexual abuse," authorities would have acted differently.
And if it was so very serious, the parents should have made certain that this little girl got counseling ASAP, not cancelling two appointments.
I doubt it was anything other than kids experimenting sexually. It was not, after all, adult-on-child abuse.
Nicole did not want to give any explanation of what happened, and it seems many agree that she should not have to.
But really, it's not that hard to SUGGEST what happened without in any way endangering the child. We can all draw some pretty accurate conclusions from wording like "mouth on her privates" etc. Doing so does not in any way cause harm to this little girl. Nicole has not given ANY information to make any of us believe abuse occurred.
I call foul. Even though I do not like SRS's delivery, I think she's nailed it.
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SweetLight
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/07/10
Posts: 2003
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So because she has not given the details to you it didn’t happen at all? Wow, have you heard of Sandusky and his victims over all these years?
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Reilly
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Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 3374
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I think the cancelled appointments were for the SS, whom they haven't had any contact with since the incident was brought to light....
I'm not advocating one way or the other...I'm just saying that in the beginning, the incident appeared to be much more involved and something that would most certainly require some intervention by authority...and now? well..it just seems to be not so big a deal...
Either way..I hope the children are okay...
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Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?~Marilyn Monroe
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Reilly
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Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 3374
Loc: right here ----->
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I don't think the two are even REMOTELY related...
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Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?~Marilyn Monroe
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I take incest to mean sex or some form of between two people whom are related. I looked at Nicole's case as one of sexual contact- touching inappropriately. That was what happened between two cousins in my family. I wouldn't have called it out as incest. I would have said it was touching of an inappropriate sexual nature. Thing is when something like this happens in a family then the parent has to wonder has this happened BEFORE? And if it has was it more than this time? That's where I think the sexual abuse comes in. This also isn't solely about Nicole's daughter...if SS was acting inappropriately could he, himself, have been touched inappropriately? From the beginning EM explained it perfectly, I think. If a sex act took place then that is cause for an investigation, if it was inappropriate touching between siblings then maybe not. Seems like its a call the parents and the courts have the option to make. Not one for us to guess on.
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Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
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Wow...how tainted we have become on DS. I find it difficult to understand why we can't just believe a post at face value and support someone who is looking for/needing it. Regardless what's happened in the past here, what has been "proven" or "disproven"...how incredibly disappointing that someone comes here for support and gets disected and poked just to see if they are really worthy of support. At the end of the day...does it really "cost" you anything to give a poster the benefit of the doubt? If you have been burned before by giving someone money, don't do it again, simple...but a supportive comment costs you nothing. An ear to lend here costs you nothing. I personally would much rather support someone even if it turned out to be a full on lie than to rip someone apart to "save face, just incase". How terrible I would feel to find out I was wrong.
Best of luck with your situation, Nicole.
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Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1410
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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People were supporting her and continue to support her - the situation was presented as life being turned up side down etc... when now it appears to not be the case?
As long as both children are being tended to the parents are on the right track and all we can do is take what is posted and the first thread made the situation seem dire.
"If you have been burned before by giving someone money, don't do it again, simple..." interesting analogy...
Nicole is/was being given the benefit of the doubt, myself included, until things began to differ from the original post - now it appears as though nothing really happened or maybe just a confused 12 year old SS but then according to Nicole her four year old daughter was involved somehow....
Cassie - the definition for in@est is all encompassing and yes between siblings the sexual act is considered in@est but has also been charged as r@ape of a child depending on ages and other criteria. I think the word in@cest makes people think of the most horrible awful thing but in reality it encompasses all sibling sexu@al in nature abuse.
I may be desensitized to the word given my profession and education where as a lot people may get the creepy crawly and the most severe idea of sibling sexu@l abuse when they hear the word? I am also desensitized to talking about death and funeral details because I grew up in a family of funeral home directors/owners and I have to watch when I talk to people because I have gotten the "deer caught in the headlights" stare a lot and realized I need to not be so open and detailed when talking about the subject as many people are uneasy.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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I'll take my beating. I agree with SRS on this one. None of the stories add up EVER and they are all overly dramatic. After people start questioning the story changes or it becomes not so dramatic or it becomes "I don't have to tell you or I'm not answering that" (which is 100% true but then why post in the first place?)
Sorry.....not seeing this as the "life changing" event that it was made out to be when neither state is opening a case.
I'm not one to beat a dead horse so you won't see me replying to anymore of her posts, (They aren't for advice anyway since she knows so many important people who already advise her). but SRS is not the only one who has doubts about this one.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Loretta
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 3940
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[quote]Wow...how tainted we have become on DS. I find it difficult to understand why we can't just believe a post at face value and support someone who is looking for/needing it. Regardless what's happened in the past here, what has been "proven" or "disproven"...how incredibly disappointing that someone comes here for support and gets disected and poked just to see if they are really worthy of support. At the end of the day...does it really "cost" you anything to give a poster the benefit of the doubt? If you have been burned before by giving someone money, don't do it again, simple...but a supportive comment costs you nothing. An ear to lend here costs you nothing. I personally would much rather support someone even if it turned out to be a full on lie than to rip someone apart to "save face, just incase". How terrible I would feel to find out I was wrong.
Best of luck with your situation, Nicole. [/quote]
My thoughts exactly. :)
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I agree. And having been in a family where this happened with two cousins at that moment the families did feel as though there lives had been turned upside down. Even moreso when the parent of the one who touched inappropriately refused to get the child counseling. It was found out that the child who did this had been touched inappropriately too. For years this turned the family upside down because without the one family seeking counseling the other didn't know if they felt their child was safe even when being watched constantly. There continued to be a divide between the two families for years. Regardless of whether some deem it as "dramatic" you don't know how it will effect you until it hits home firsthand. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
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