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thor
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Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1
Question Regarding Alcoholic Ex Using Child To...
      #133242 - 08/07/06 03:05 PM

This story takes place in L.A. Its a real one; not mine, but that of my girlfriend. She has been divorced to an alcoholic for about 5 years. He will not seek help. He has also been diagnosed bipolar. He is bright. He is manipulative, but will not work. She was always the breadwinner. He hangs around her house to "be a good father", then bums money from her to
take daughter to school, etc. She is fair-minded and believes since he is the father he should be able to see her. He keeps trying to win her back but she refuses. She is not in love with him. I live in another state however, and we meet in various cities every few months; but I'm planning to move to a nearby city later this year. The
daughter is left with an aunt when my gf visits as she does not trust the daughter alone with the ex; and I don't blame her. He is very slick, kind, charming, etc etc. and hard to control because he is so controlling. I told her to be harsh and demand that he get a job, get help, etc etc. and simply detach from him but it is very hard when the daughter (of course) loves daddy, and my gf is too kind to not let her have that privilige. So it is a tough situation. I am wondering if there is a remedy. He is continuously fighting with her trying to win her back; always asking questions about me, etc etc. What do we do? Is there a legal remedy? Especially one where the husband gets help, his feelings not hurt badly, and so that the daugther (6 years old but very bright) can understand without being ashamed of daddy. It's a tough one. Thanks. Thor :confused:


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Melody
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Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
Well first of all, [Re: thor]
      #133280 - 08/07/06 04:55 PM

he's her EX husband, right? So what he does in his private life is really none of her business, nor is it your business...as long as no harm comes to the child when she is with him.

No there's nothing your girlfriend can to do make him get help or to make him get a job....If he was a danger to the child, she could take steps to limit his ability to visit with her...which MIGHT be the motivation he needed to get his life in order...but being a lazy alcoholic is not against the law and it is not necessarily a danger to anyone else....so it's not likely enough to warrant no contact.

How about she just cuts off HER contact? No phone calls, no questions, whatever. Her business is none of his business either.


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