cutty009
recently joined
Reged: 08/04/06
Posts: 3
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Tennessee: My ex wife and i have 50-50 custody currently of our 4 year old son. she is currently on chemotherapy and can not care for our son. she is unemployed by choice and has been for the last two years. she just started chemo two weeks ago and asked me to care for our son full time. she will never give over her rights because she would lose her child support. she is now trying to take me back to get more money from me. she has remarried but he has not adopted our son. what should i do? i pay child support even though we have 50 50 and also $450 more a month for his pre-school/child care.
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forthekidz
veteran
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 1383
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<<<My ex wife and i have 50-50 custody currently of our 4 year old son. she is currently on chemotherapy and can not care for our son.>>>
I don't think people lose custody because they are fighting cancer. As long as his basic needs are being met...are they?
<<<she is unemployed by choice and has been for the last two years. >>>
Well, isn't she unemployed because she has cancer? Even if she isn't, CS and custody are two separate issues.
<<<she just started chemo two weeks ago and asked me to care for our son full time. she will never give over her rights because she would lose her child support. >>>>
Okay, well, is it possible that she wants you to have son full time because she is too sick and she wants what is best for him? She wouldn't have to terminate her parental rights to do that. Regardless, I hope you take her up on her offer because it would probably be in the best interest of your son.
<<<she is now trying to take me back to get more money from me.>>>
Well, unless you are making oodles more than her, let her threaten.
<<< she has remarried but he has not adopted our son.>>>
Well, the stepfather can't adopt your son unless you terminate YOUR parental rights. Why would you do that?
<<< what should i do? >>>
Well, you should make a schedule that is the best for your son. I am sure his mother doesn't want him to see how sick she is, especially at 4, it would be very scary. So, you should take your son and let your ex have ample visitation.
Who cares about the custody part for now. If you end up having your son for longer than 6 months, file a motion in court (if you have to) asking for a change in child support based on the fact that he now lives with you 80% (or whatever) of the time.
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cutty009
recently joined
Reged: 08/04/06
Posts: 3
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she gives him to me only when she wants to, then she takes him back when she is mad at me. she has no problem going out to bars and getting drunk while he is with me
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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She does this while shes on chemo? hmmmm...
Not that it matters what she does on her time - as long as shes not exposing your child to it, its none of your business. Key being that shes *not* exposing the child to it.
Youve agreed that the child stays with you while mom is sick, and as the other poster said, if it turns into 6 mos and child is still with you, file for a change with the courts.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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"she has remarried but he has not adopted our son."
Is that an option you would actually consider? That really does not putyou on the parentof the year list, does it.
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cutty009
recently joined
Reged: 08/04/06
Posts: 3
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no i would never give up rights to my son, guess i didn't quite understand that aspect. i understand the whole six month idea, but she takes him back and there is nothing i can say or do to prevent her from taking him. if it is technically her time, i have no say so. her chemotherapy prevents her from driving because of nausea.
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despedina
addict
Reged: 08/14/06
Posts: 697
Loc: Hillsboro, MO
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You say she gives you your son when she wants. Do you not have a visitation schedule? If so, she needs to abide by that. If she is, and is giving you extra time during her time, be greatful. I would just ask that she call before she comes and gets the child. Or you can just do the schedule and that's it, and there will be no wondering when she's coming to get the child.
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