Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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On a national level, of course just like the rest of us. Such a cowardly and senseless act that occured 5 years ago.
On a personal level... EX was on a commercial flight for business that morning. I was at work, and could not remember what air line he was flying on.. and at that point was not confirmed which airlines had planes hijacked. So went home to check his info.
I firmly believe that day was the beginning of the end of our marriage, thus the sadness. Ex had some kind of a break down on that day, IMO. He and his group were to change planes in St louis and then on to Omaha. They had landed as scheduled and then not allowed off the plane... finally someone got a cell call and they knew the reason. Once in airport they split up, some in line for rental car, some in line for phones to find a motel. EX told me started to feel very anxious and told his boss he had to get out of the airport. I asked him what his plan was from that point, and he told me he was going to find I-70, and walk home, from St Louis Missouri to Columbus OH area. Said he would follow 70 and but keep hidden in woods as much as possible.
He did not tell his boss this, just that he needed to leave. Boss told him they would soon have rental cars and be driving home. EX stayed with his group and they got back late that night.
This did not sound rational to me. However he would not talk about it again. It was after this that he started to add to his hand gun collection. I did not know this until after EX left... he told my brother he wanted enough guns to keep one in each of our 3 vehicles and one for each of the 10 rooms in our house. Wish I had known that earlier. I do know that the night I found a hand gun under a couch cushion (had fallen asleep there)... was not a pretty scene when EX got home.
Anyhow, I believe something did snap for him that day and he became paranoid and fearful of enemy attacks. I aslo believe that at that point he started to evaluate his life, felt he had a close call and decided he did not want to be married, or with me. The only reason he has ever given our son for leaving is "that he decided he would never be unhappy again". Again, not rational thinking.
I am feeling sorry that I could not help him, or even realize at the time what he was thinking. Just missing him I guess... I know I will always love a part of him, but I think that person started a slow death on 9-11. Wonder how many others that were flying that day have been affected as my EX was. I have said more than one prayer today, all 9-11 related.
Karen
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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NancyD
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
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{{{H_U_G_S}}}
I remember hearing stories weeks later about situations like that...where one person in a relationship just had some kind of epiphany during the ordeal and decided it was time to make a break. And a few where the spouse used the Trade Center attack as a cover-up to leave, just disappearing and leaving everyone to think they had died in the attack.
And I will never forget the Wall of Memory...actually many walls all over the city covered in flyers as people looked for their missing loved ones. All over downtown, and near every hospital, walls of buildings as high as a tall person could reach—every square inch covered in paper bearing pictures and discriptions. No one had the heart to take them down after it was obvious that there were no survivors after the collapse. They stayed up there until weather took them down.
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CaymanCanuck
enthusiast
Reged: 08/11/06
Posts: 242
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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(((hugs to all)))
One horrible memory of mine of that horrible day was an image on the tv of all the doctors and nurses who had scrambled to the hospitals to help the wounded, standing around doing nothing because there were no wounded, only dead.
I saw a news commentator (can't remember who it was) last night on tv who said that he wished that all the money that's been spent on the war in Iraq had been spent on homeland security. As a non-American, and a citizen of a country that declined to participate in the Iraq offensive although we are in Afganistan, I wonder how you all feel about that.
If this is too inflamatory a subject, I apologise and retract the question.
My prayers are with all of you today.
Jacquie
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**** I'm not a survivor, I'm a thriver!! ****
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Patrice
addict
Reged: 07/21/06
Posts: 401
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Karen, You certainly could have something with the connection. Your ex was in a helpless situation and the feeling of panic would not be surprising. I think that day brought a lot of us together, but also created a fear and also a hatred in some. Immediately following the attack I felt a oneness with other Americans, but unfortunately that hasn't really lasted.
My ex became very judgemental after that day--maybe it just started to come out then--and although I don't think that particularly affected our marriage, I think that day changed his sense of contentment. He later became VERY negative about politics, which I see now as part of his general dissatisfaction with his life.
I'm finding that the more time goes by I am taking less of the blame for the breakdown of our marriage rather than more. Who knows if that's healthy or not?! It's been only a year since his big announcement and a month since the divorce.
Onthe 9/11 topic, I really felt for some kids (who had a parent killed) being interviewed who said it was hard for them to move on when every year on the anniversary the TV would be full of pictures and stories all about the attack. It would almost get worse for those kids who were young enough to not understand then , but who understand now.
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Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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I think about all those kids often... more so this time of year of course. Perhaps they just avoid tv, radio and newspapers. I think I would want to just curl up in bed and sleep the day away.
EX never let on this was the case (he would not really talk about that day) but I think this day must be hard for him. He is a controlling person, and must have felt very out of control that day and after, hence all the gun purchases. After the fact, and in retrospect, I am able to piece a lot of things together that struck me as odd at the time.... sort of a connect the dots type thing.
Karen
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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So many horrible visions that day... sure they haunt many of us.
The medical folks got to me to... was the realization that there would be no need for triage... no survivors. And the faces on the firefighters etc. when they would leave ground zero after pulling a 24 hour shift there.... I will never forget those faces... nor those of the folks along the sidewalks clapping and holding signs saying Thanks, God Bless etc.
All those photos of the missing... it is all too horrific and not something I ever imagined could happen here.
I totally agree with the news commentator's comment. I think of the war in Iraq as "Bush's Folly". Not making light of it by any means. The sad part is, once we finally get out of there.... it will go back to what it was. Is like those in office at that time had lost all memory of Viet Man.
My brother is in Iraq... is a police officer and there working on training of Iraqi police. He is 35 miles north of Baghdad. He is 1/2 way through his year... the longest 6 months of my life coming up. He is my baby brother... none of us could talk him out of this, and all of our large extended family tried... his wife and daughters tried... he says he feels is something he is meant to do and that the sooner the police and military can take care of their country, the sooner we can get out of there. I have to admire that, but I still hate it.
He said is a different world (we all know that!), lots of people just trying to work and get a head in life, then the many who value no life, including their own. They have Iraqi police who did not choose to be police, they are just ordered to. Many live at the police stations, afraid to go home, afraid insurgents will follow them, find out where they live, and then kill their families. My brothers Iraqi interpretter... was recently kidnapped and killed because he was working with the USA. Brother and couple of other cops, along with the military, were escorting 13 Iraqi police recruits to the Iraqi police academy in Bagdhad. My brother travels in an armor plated SUV and always with our military. the 13 Iraqi's were in a small bus... a suicide car bomber drove a car into the bus and detonated the bomb. I fear my brother is going to be a changed person when he returns. he says he does not regret his decision. He can leave and come home at any time, but wants to stay the course.
I have a very difficult time seeing our president on TV... I cannot stand the sound of his voice... I turn him off for the most part. IMO the way to fight terrorism was not to invade Iraq, I feel that just added fuel to the fire and now we have more terrorists who hate us. I feel the money should have been spent on beefing up our CIA, and on Homeland Security. Hell our government could not even deal with the aftermath of Katarina in the gulf area... governors not calling for federal assistance, FEMA not taking good control of the situation... a Mayor the let the NO school busses just sit empty until they were flooded and useless instead of using them to evacuate people. We can send help to other countries faster than we can send help to our own.
Sorry for my rant and will stop now. No need to apologise IMO...would be a good thing if more folks in USA got inflamed and passionate about this issue.
Karen
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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CaymanCanuck
enthusiast
Reged: 08/11/06
Posts: 242
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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I have the deepest admiration and respect for your brother. What an incredible man.
The thing that mystifies me most about all this is, why isn't anyone asking why young men, older educated westernised men, young women and mothers, etc. are willing to throw their lives away? WHY? Shouldn't we be looking at that? Seeing if there isn't something we can do about the root cause?
I dunno.
It's all very disheartening. All the dead, in the WTC, in Iraq, in Afghanistan .... obviously what we're doing isn't working. There seems no end in sight. Kar, you're right. Vietnam all over again. I bet John Lennon is spinning in his grave.
Time for new view.
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**** I'm not a survivor, I'm a thriver!! ****
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BB1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 8051
Loc: MD
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My friend from Long Island worked at the site for 20 hours at a time. Someone followed them around with a video camera for about an hour. He sent me a copy of it. Incredibly sad. They walked and dug, walked and sat. When they sat, they all stared blankly and didn't utter a word. Then you'd hear a deep sigh, and a c'mon, lets get back to work.
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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NancyD
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
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My brother who is a NYC policeman worked for two weeks straight at the site. Since he had been a volunteer fireman for several years in our town, they put him to work doing double duty—police and fire stuff.
And that scene of the medical personnel waiting for the wounded who never came...my friend's fiance was amongst them. He worked at St. Vincent's, the closest hospital to the collapse.
The medical examiner's office is over in the Bellevue/NYU complex over along the East River in the 20's and 30's. That's where any bodies or body parts would have been taken. I used to live a few blocks from there, and MONTHS later when I was visiting a friend in my old building, the flyers and posters were still hanging on every available space for blocks and blocks, bleached ghostly white.
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KiwiGirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State
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On the other side of the world it was too horrific.
My sister was due to fly back on one of those flights that Tuesday morning but changed her plans to return to CA the Sunday before. She was finishing a 6 month stay in America and went to NYC to see the sights. She bought me a t/shirt showing the Twin Towers. And knowing my sister and her propensity to be in the middle of everything (imaginary or otherwise!) unless she had shown me the unused tickets I would never have believed her.
As for the President, I think he is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. He could have sat back and played the political/UN game... which means crap because the evil doers carry on doing evil. Or he can step in and rout out the bad guys. However Europe and Great Britian sat back and allowed Hitler to ride over Europe invading countries at whim. I am proud someone is standing up and saying "Never again!" Someone wants to defend my freedoms as not an American but as a human being.
It is an ideological war. There are no defined boundaries. There is just the ideology that their way is the only way and the only way that is achieved is through the death of all non Muslim people. It has nothing to do with wealth or they would turn on the Saudis who have millions. And OBL is extremely wealthy in his own right. He has a lot of money squirrelled away around the world.
Karen it is easy to sit back in your comfortable home and say you dispise your President. I respect your right to do so. But consider yourself lucky. Because if you offered the same comment under Saddam Hussien, you would have been gang raped, tortured and killed... slowly. Then I suspect you would be crying out for ANYONE to stop this pain. WOUld an American MArine come in handy then?
You may think I am being dramatic and conservative. I am. Because my father lived in occupied Holland in WW2 and his Jewish neighbours and friends were wiped off the face of the earth by people like OBL. My sisters grandfather-in-law was killed by the Gestapo because he assisted small Jewish children to escape to freedom in England.
Now who is better? Men that promote small children to become human bombs or men like Jan Goubitz who died so others may have a chance at life?
Give the evil people of this world an inch and they take your life as well.
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If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem
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