lsutton
enthusiast
Reged: 08/15/06
Posts: 226
Loc: Indiana
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Today I finally found out that they are for sure an item. I already really knew it but I went to far and called her. She wouldn't talk but she called him and he told me everything. It was terrible to hear but I am glad I know. I now know there is no reason to pursue him except for being a father to his children. It was a terrible ugly nasty fight and I am glad it is out of the way.
I also went to the doctor today and got some medication hopefully to help with all of this and got some counseling. I came home and called to reconcile (only the parental part of it) and I am glad that I did. I want to be able to get along for the children. It is so hard to keep going every day and hasn't lightened up at all. But hopefully in time it will slowly get better.
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lsutton
enthusiast
Reged: 08/15/06
Posts: 226
Loc: Indiana
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It is still one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. I have to learn to accept the fact after 12.5 years and almost 5 children he has moved on. It is terribly painful but it is good to know for sure that we are finished. Atleast I can focus now on the kids (that I should've been doing all along) and not so much on winning him back. I know I know why would I want him anyway, who knows but I did.
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KiwiGirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State
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I am so sorry. I really am. Nothing hurts more than the man you had such dreams with (despite the bad times) treating you like this. Your whole purpose for living becomes a bit of a joke.
Yes you live for your kids but you know deep down that one day the kids will grow up and lead their own lives. And your role as a wife comes to an almighty screeching halt.
I am glad you went to the doctor and got some medication. And as we are winding down to the end of the year, make sure you are still covered under someone's medical insurance.
I am sure she did not expect you to call her and probably is nagging him to 'keep that crazy b1tchy away from me!" Because he would not have told her what a great woman and mother you are. She is basically an excuse to leave you and once you accept her (at least to his face) as a fixture in his life, the faster he will discover what she is really like.
One thing to stipulate in your parenting plan may be no overnighters of the opposite sex unless they are related by blood or marriage. Of course this will work both ways but in the meantime it will mean your kids are not exposed to their father's foolishness.
Be a brave soldier. Yes, it is hard and lonely but we got thru it in one piece. And keep writing in that journal. If he calls, don't get into any kind of conversation other than pick up and drop off of the kids. It saves your sanity.
It also lets him see that he has drawn his line in the sand and no way are you crossing it no matter what kind of invitation he offers.
I am sending strong thoughts and prayers to you tonight. I know your pain. I havew been there. Confronted with the ghastly truth is so damned difficult that you wish he does serious damage to his back and makes him into an invalid and suffer from ED for a long long time. (ED = Erectile dysfunction). But he can still work.
Just remember, he will treat her like all the rest of the women in his life. What a silly stupid cow she is thinking she is the one who will keep him happy.
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If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem
Edited by KiwiGirl (09/15/06 08:33 PM)
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focusedon2
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/10/05
Posts: 2136
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My prayers are going out to you as well.
Kiwigirl's comments are right on the money.
Why would you want him? Because you had a life together and because he's the father of your children and because you were a faithful wife.
As much as it hurts, it's good to know that you shouldn't continue to waste your time on gaining him back. Now you can focus not only on your children but also on yourself. Your children need you to love yourself so that you can really love them.
Hang in there.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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Kiwi, you crack me up. How many men have you actually put the ED curse on? I know it didn't work on my x SO so could you try concentrating on that one a little more? ? LOL
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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lsutton
enthusiast
Reged: 08/15/06
Posts: 226
Loc: Indiana
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He called me this monring and I just had the kids talked to him of course he asked how is you mom? They told him just fine. The question of all questions right now. Next Saturday we have tickets to go and see Rodney Carrington (I love him) we got these a long time ago, do I go to this??? I have my ticket and he has his, I don't know what to do about this one. I have accepted that he is with her and I don't think he likes that I don't want to play the game anymore. He can have her, she can have him. I don't want to chase something that doesn't even want me. That is just silly to me. Yes it hurts terribly but I can't do anything about it but move on with my life.
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mtdew
member
Reged: 07/08/06
Posts: 133
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[quote] do I go to this??? [/quote]
I would not. He probably won't show up either but he might and he might have found a ticket for OW. Do you really want to be subjected to that?
Is it reserved seating? If so, I would make it my mission to find the loudest, most obnoxious person I could and give them the ticket just in case he shows up.
By the way, I've noticed that when STBX asks how I am my response determines his. If I seem down, he is all happy and well. If I say fine or great then he is down or tired. Of course I'm always "fine" when he asks now.
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Curmudgeon
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 2002
Loc: MO Ozarks
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Give yours to a homeless person who hasn't brushed their teeth or bathed for several weeks.
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What me worry. I'm retired!
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lsutton
enthusiast
Reged: 08/15/06
Posts: 226
Loc: Indiana
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It is reserved seating, great idea I already have someone in mind that could go in my place. HA
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lsutton
enthusiast
Reged: 08/15/06
Posts: 226
Loc: Indiana
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I still don't think they is ever going to subside. He was supposed to get the kids last night but decided he was going to make other plans. AHHHHH. I don't know what to do about any of this, it just keeps getting worse.
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