itssopainful
recently joined
Reged: 09/19/06
Posts: 3
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Long story short.
I am married to a Army Service Member (SSG) in Germany. We have been together for 5 years married for one. He has moved out in June after a big Blow out. We have been on Leave in the States (his Family ) in July and things were going better. Just last week I have found out (had the suspicion for a long time) he has been seing a Female SGT from his Unit who is also married to another Service Member. I am a German Civilian. I have Pictures to prove their infidelity as well as Phone Records.
I have called the First SGT and told him about this dilemma and I am awaiting a appointment to show him the proof.
My Husbands "whatever you wanna call her" sent me a very "below the belt" email which I also plan on showing the First SGT. I am currently living in housing and can't afford moving off base since I only hold a part time job.
Now my question....(s) What am I entitled to? What can I not ask for? I don't want to look stupid in front of the First SGT by asking for things I shouldn't be asking for...
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elliesmom
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Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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You've only been married a year. I expect you will get very little. He cannot cut you off without a dime until you are divorced. But as long as you are living in housing, I expect they will say you are "provided for" and he has met his obligation as far as supporting you. I suggest you start looking for a job and/or move back with your parents until you can get on your feet again.
His affair will mean very little to you, it may get them into trouble but by the time that really happens hopefully you'll be gone. Get out NOW, you do not want to be married to this louse any longer than you have to. I hope you aren't sleeping with him anymore, because if married she'll sleep around with your husband chances are she hasn't been too choosy in the past and neither has he. Who knows what kind of diseases he could bring home. If he catches something from her (we can dream) let him keep it to himself.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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TMAN14
recently joined
Reged: 09/07/06
Posts: 22
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Adultry is subject to the UCMJ and with your evidence he could be in trouble.
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itssopainful
recently joined
Reged: 09/19/06
Posts: 3
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I have (sorry to admit) been intimate until I have found out what he has been doing. I do in fact understand that I will get very little if any. But to be honest, I will take everything I can get out of this. We (my daughter and me) have been through hell and back with this man and I guess I don't know what I am hoping for but I want him to give him a little tast of his own candy. I do in fact still live in housing, I gave up my Fulltime Job to have more time for the Family (by his request), sold my furniture and have barely anything left. Have no savings, because I paid all the EURO bills since my salary was in EUROS. he spent all the $ Savings we had on GOD KNOWS WHAT. So either way I turn, I have no clue where to start. My parents are not an Option...
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elliesmom
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Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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Is your daughter his biological or adopted child? If so, he will have to support his child.
I am not familiar with Germany and its social services or job market so I cannot comment on that. If you aren't a U.S. citizen, then you'll have to look into those things. People do it and so can you. He is not worth staying with.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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Miranda
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Germany has one of the "best" welfare systems in the world. A person can get Kindergelt, what is "kid money" from the gov.t just because you have a kid and you get free healh insurance. Thanks to the socialist government, sales tax in Germany is at 16%, income tax is like 40% (depending if you claim that you are a Christian) and unemployemnt is is 38% (2005).
A year is not going to get you much so don't screw up what you would get by getting him kicked out of the Army or reduced in rank.
I lived at Spangdahlem for over three years and I just wrote a cross cultural training manual for Lockheed Martin, for its ex patriates.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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itssopainful
recently joined
Reged: 09/19/06
Posts: 3
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Thats funny I used to work for Lockheed in Bad Kreuznach...
It is true we have a good Walfare system, but then again we get Taxed out the Ying Yang. And Health insurance isn't free, I still get a good Junk taken out of my salary... But that's besides the point. I am just trying to find out what my rights are and what I shouldn't ask...
My daughter is not his, nor is she adopted. She just took his name...
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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Honeslty, this 1st SGT can do nothing for you. He can get him (and her) in trouble, but that doesn't get you anything other than maybe some satisfaction. If you aren't going to get CS then I wouldn't worry about whether he gets in trouble and gets reduced in rank. He can make sure he supports you until you are divorced, but my understanding is that since you have no mutual children, he isn't responsible for much.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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Miranda
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Oh I used to drive by Bad Kreuznach. It is near Ramstein or Hahn? I can't remember...
I doubt you will get much of anything besides a roof over your head until the divorce is final.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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