triste
recently joined
Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 1
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hi.. need to be talked off the ledge today. I celebrate my good days. Days that I don't cry. Today isn't one of them.
Trying to move forward. Not look back at the 12 years of chaos and disappointment. My boys seem to be taking it better than I am. Part of the secret to having good days
is telling myself that the OW and her kids got the booby prize. I'm going to move on. Just need a push now and then.
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Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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Crying can also be a "good" day...so don't beat yourself up for it. With every tear drop that rolls off of your face goes one painful moment out of your soul. Go ahead and cry. Then have a nap and a shower. When you're ready to go again and look to a non-crying day....you begin to feel like a new woman.
Crying is cathartic and healthy and normal. It's also a much smaller calorie exchange than...say...a pint of Ben and Jerry's. You ARE handling it well...as good as anyone else.
And you're right...the OW gets the pain and disappointment that you no longer have to allow in your home.
When all else fails....get out of the house. Even if it's just a trip to the park or a drive around somewhere pretty.
Here's to a good day tomorrow too.....Cheers!
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Terri1
journeyman
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 71
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I have had quite a few days like that myself lately, just when I thought I was getting better. Grief is one of those things that takes its own course and I think you just have to let it have its way with you. You just can't get caught up in feeling that way all of the time. It does get better.
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mlh53
member
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 110
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Hi Triste,
Sorry to see you're going through one of those miserable dips on the rollercoaster ride of divorce. I was married for over 20 years, also have 2 sons, and have been divorced for almost 2 and separated for 4. X married OW and they now have a 18 month old daughter. Anyway, recently (see my post on 'Triggers') I had a huge dip and I was miserable. But the cloud is lifting and I'm starting to get back on even keel again. So I know what you're going through. It's awlful, isn't it?
In any case, all you can do, as you probably know, is live through it. Feel the pain, sadness, anger, whatever for awhile, then pick yourself up and keep on, keeping on. Eventually the downward dip will pass and you'll get back on track again. Unfortunately it all takes time and sometimes alot of hard work and determination to pull yourself out. But we have to. The alternative is not good.
Meanwhile, hang in there and keep posting. It'll help. So many times I'll write when feeling really down and someone will respond with just the right words and turn my whole day around. Or just the collective responses will help me feel less alone and give me the push I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hopefully this board does the same for you. Hope I've helped even just a bit.
Big Hugs,
Melanie
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