GAgirl
journeyman
Reged: 07/04/05
Posts: 67
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I don't post much anymore but wanted to get some thoughts about something. My divorce from my short-term (3 yrs. - yes, probably a rebound thing) was final in Jan. I'd kicked him out in July '05, with no contact since. He was dating, refusing to help financially, and the final straw was the barely legal p*rn. My daughter was 17 when I found that stuff in my garage.
Anyway, I have been dating off and on but have no desire to be with someone just to not be alone...not willing to settle either. I've been dating someone for the last month who I really would like to get to know better. He stays in contact and has given me his cell, home, and work numbers (he's called me from all those numbers). My concern is that every date we've had has been during the daytime. Given that my ex was able to date by doing the lunchtime thing, I don't know if my reaction is based on the past. I'm not really sure how to ask if he's really available. No, we're not intimate. I have never cheated and will not be the means for someone else to do so! Any thoughts?
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Chris1
journeyman
Reged: 06/04/05
Posts: 75
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GA, I prefer the direct route and would probably flat out ask him. However, having a devious side, I might decide to
opt for asking him out--to dinner (after 7).
I don't think your reaction is based on your past.
These days you have to be careful.
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GAgirl
journeyman
Reged: 07/04/05
Posts: 67
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A little more info - he's 51, no kids and I'm 48, daughter in college (18), and son in hs (almost 17). We both work day jobs, so there's really no reason for not getting together at night, that I can see anyway.
Thanks Chris...if I had listened to those "voices," I probably wouldn't have married the ex or at least wouldn't have held onto the idea of the marriage for 3 yrs!
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NancyD
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
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You could always do a little more investigating...do a reverse look-up of his home number if you need his address. Then do a property record search of the address to see whose name the deed is in. But that will only work if he owns his home.
If he rents, you'll need to physically stake out his home to see who comes and goes. Or maybe finding a chatty neighbor who will fill you in on who actually lives there...himself alone or with a family.
On the other hand, maybe he just has hobbies he needs to attend to in the evening. Maybe a second job to pay off some debts. Maybe he's hooked on a few TV programs. Or maybe he's just an early-to-bed kind of guy.
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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Just ask him... say "Hey.. I'd like to get together and have dinner one night. What do you say?". If he says something about a daytime thing, then ask if there is any reason why you have not done anything in the evening...
Sounds a little weird to me, but you never know. Maybe he's afraid of the dark :)
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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Annie7676
old hand
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 862
Loc: NY
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Other than turning into Nancy Drew. At this age in my life I would just ask him...maybe jokingly...like I note all our dates the past month have been during the day..you don't happen to be married do you? And then just laugh...or just ask him outright and be honest.
With something like that you need to know up front and right out there....if he gets mad then that will tell you alot....the sleuthing thing...well if you have time but if not just ask....good luck to you and I hope it turns out okay.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30378
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...legal p0rn?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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I believe she means the individuals involved in the p0rn her husband was looking at and enjoying were of barely legal age.. you know, under 18.
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
Edited by rocketgirl (10/30/06 05:55 PM)
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Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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Google the words "barely legal p0rn," and see what you get. That should clear up the mystery.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30378
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...is illegal, over 18 is legal. There is no blurry line.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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